I?m a very open person, but even I have my limits
Photo by: Koldunov / Shutterstock
It took me a long time before I got comfortable enough to show my body in a nonsexual context. Even after psyching myself up for 15+ years, I still have only flashed a bit of skin in a controlled setting.
My husband is the exact opposite. He will drop his pants and show his gear to anyone nice enough to ask. And boy do people ask.
I met him online through a mutual friend. We chatted (this was the heyday of MSN Messenger) and exchanged emails when the other wasn?t at their computer (Hotmail was still considered cool). Even over email I could tell I liked him so I dropped the guy I was casually dating to make myself available for him.
And I asked to see his dick. This was before dick pics were a thing, so even though he promised to show it and I brought it up more than once, I would have to wait until we met in person.
When we finally did, I asked ?So, when do I get to see it?? What can I say, I move fast. And so does he. As you can tell, I didn?t really have any game back then, but I still got what I requested. He undid his pants, asked if I wanted to take it out, and I did. I put my hand on his underwear and pulled it out to have a look. And that?s how I met the cock I would spend the rest of my life with.
As it turns out, I?m not as special as I thought I was. Quite a few people had seen it before me, and lots of people have seen it since.
My Lovable Exhibitionist
My husband didn?t really describe himself as an exhibitionist, but he fit the bill. I think he was uncomfortable with the label because it made him sound like a creepy flasher who likes to lurk in the bushes. He was more the type who found enjoyment in having people watch him consensually.
So, we did our fair share of fooling around in the woods, behind his place of work, in my mother?s car with the doors open.
But mostly, he just showed his body on request. Most of his female friends had seen it. Most of mine had, too. About half of them asked because they found out he was open and willing and they took him up on his offer. The other half asked because they heard he was both long and thick and they wanted to confirm this for themselves (even though he has shown it limp, it wasn?t his specialty).
I never had a problem with anyone seeing it. In fact, it sort of made me proud. He was so open. By showing him off, everyone could see that I had finally met my sexually liberated match.
I had no problem whatsoever with him showing his dick. I still don?t. I figured I would let anyone who wanted to see it, see it.
Until my mom asked.
OMG Mom!
Mr. Austin and I do pretty much everything together. We?re inseparable (we keep being told we?re #relationshipgoals). So, when we got married, it only made sense for us to host a joint bachelor/bachelorette party.
And since I was tying the knot with an exhibitionist, it also makes sense that most of our guests got naked.
It was a pool party at my parents? house. Once everyone had a few beers or coolers, someone suggested a skinny dip. So, most of our friends hopped into the pool and threw their bathing suits onto the deck.
In its odd way, it was a lovely moment. All of our friends gathered together, stripping their clothes off and just being liberated with us. I know skinny dipping is supposed to be fun and naughty, but it was also kind of sweet.
Then the party died down, we dried off, dressed again, and most people headed home. With only a few friends left around (the bridal party, mainly), we went back inside and hung out with my mother, who had been drinking with her friend to pass the time while we borrowed her pool and deck.
The conversation turned to the skinny dip. One of the bridesmaids said to the soon-to-be Mr. Austin, ?Of course you didn?t have a problem with it, you?re hung like a horse!?
My mother?s eyes shot wide open. Tipsy on wine, she laughed and asked my future husband to whip out his cock. ?Since you?re marrying my daughter soon,? she explained, ?I?ve got to inspect the merchandise.?
Mr. Austin turned to me. His drunk facial expression and sheepish shrug seemed to say, ?What do you think??
I don?t know if he actually entertained the idea of showing his dick to my mother. I just think he didn?t know how to react because he?d never said no before.
I had to step in.
?Don?t!? I told him in a very firm and serious tone. Then I turned to my mother and said, ?Don?t joke about that. He?ll do it. Everyone?s seen it.? I?m not sure that was the right thing to say, and as the words were coming out of my mouth, I worried they would just make her more curious. But this was unprecedented for me. Is there a right way to ask your mom not to look at your husband?s penis?
He shrugged. She laughed but dropped the subject. And I poured another glass of champagne to help me recover from that extremely awkward moment.
The Body Confidence I Never Had
Soon after we became Mr. and Mrs. Austin, we moved out of province for him to pursue his education. Once hometown friends were replaced by grad school friends, he no longer had anyone to show his dick to, so he kept it tucked away until I wanted to use it for my enjoyment.
He hasn?t changed, though. He?s still very much willing to drop trou? and hold it out for anyone who wants to see it. He even let me take photos of it recently and told me I could share them with whoever I wanted.
I?ve got to say, I love this habit of his, but it?s not because of the exhibitionism per se. It?s because of the confidence he exudes when he does it. I know he?s insecure about his body, including some aspects of his penis, but he can put all that aside and show it so casually, without worrying that it?s not good enough or that he might somehow disappoint his audience.
He?s got the body confidence I never had. And by seeing the way he takes such a positive attitude despite having negative feelings about his body shows me that that kind of confidence is not entirely out of reach.
I don?t think I?ll ever fully and completely embrace my body, but maybe being confident despite feeling flawed is achievable.
Because of that, I like that he can display himself proudly, and I?m happy to see him bare himself.
Just, maybe not to my mom.
If you want to hear more discussion about what Mr. Austin?s packing, check out the All About My Husband?s Dick episode of my podcast, Pillow Talk with Emma Austin. We talk about his phimosis, delayed ejaculation, and death grip.
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