Just one more flavor of kink that often goes misunderstood.
Photo by Igor Starkov on Unsplash
The biggest misunderstanding that I?ve seen about primal play is that it?s always animal play. That?s not true. I would classify animal play under the umbrella of being ?primal.? But you don?t have to be animalistic at all to tap into your primal side.
Not if that doesn?t come naturally to you.
Primal sex is honest sex.
Personally what I like most about primal play is that it?s an opportunity for all masks to fallaway. Instead of concerning yourselves with a certain sort of sex act or getting each other off, you each revel in whatever feels natural and good.
The resulting sex play might wind up silly, strange, or aggressive. For some folks, doing whatever feels good without concern about looking or sounding stupid, might turn animalistic.
But it doesn?t have to be.
For me and other primal partners, I?ve discovered that it?s more about expressing ourselves freely and wordlessly. Doing what comes naturally. It?s also all about trusting each other implicitly.
I?m going to be wholly myself and trust you to accept me completely. Just as I wholly except you. It is going to be some of the most honest, raw, and real sex because neither one of us are interested in putting on a show.
Primal play is all about the connection.
The best thing about connecting with your partner through primal sex is how you get to push and stretch your boundaries together. You might switch off between being the hunter and the prey. You might test the line between pleasure and pain.
Whatever happens, you are bound to meet a new side of yourself. As you do so, you connect with your partner in new ways too.
The connection is all about acting on instinct.
Many people have trouble acting on their instincts in bed. They?re too concerned with protocol. They frequently overthink and find themselves unable to relax. The resulting sex is often awkward and stilted.
Acting on instinct is a very powerful thing. We reject the ?shoulds? in favor of raw emotion and physical desire.
Raw instinct can be rough, and it?s not for the faint of heart. It?s also not for partners who haven?t established the foundation of trustnecessary for such an intenseexperience.
Primal sex looks like a lot of different things.
For some folks it?s wrestling, hair pulling, biting, nipping, or guttural sounds. For others, it?s laughter, tears, body-to-body massage, mutual masturbation, or licking each other everywhere.
It?s free from shame. It?s joy.
And I don?t think there?s anything else in the world quite like it.
Primal sex begins with getting in touch with yourselffirst.
I don?t know that you can really get primal with a partner until you know how to get primal with yourself first. Practice whatever feels good to you. Close your eyes and lose your inhibitions.
Quit worrying about following some scriptorprotocol.
Learn how to revel in the sensuality and feeling of it all.
And then talk to your partner. Tell them that you?re interesting in exploring primal play. Have a conversation with each other about what it might look like and how you might feel if either person goes ?too far.?
You might decide upon having a safe word. Some people argue that you can?t be fully primal if you?ve also got safety in mind, but I don?t know that that?s true.
I think instinct can remain raw while also preserving a healthy connection. But you?ll have to be willing to go down that road with your partner.
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