We?re all capable of nipplegasms. Don?t tell men that, though. They think it ?feminizes? them.
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?I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.? Emo Philips
?It?s like licking a never-ending gummy bear,? MolsonIce was saying on reddit, after someone called nipples ?nature?s perfect toggle switches.? The glorification of nipples is certainly out there, and both women and men have definite opinions on what constitutes arousal and what constitutes unresolved mommy issues.
No doubt some men were denied what they considered ?sufficient nipple time? as babies. Now they?re making up for it by sucking the life out of yours.
Nipple sucking is pretty Freudian, yet the majority of men will scream bloody murder if you mention mommy issues. They?ll say they?re just trying to get you off, or they?re being considerate, or they like gummy bears.
Just hearing the word ?nurturing? can make a man limper than a ten-day-old lettuce leaf.
Freud is the last thing men want to hear about. He took the fun out of sex with that whole Oedipal Complex thing. I mean, why bring our mothers into this? Just hearing the word ?nurturing? can make a man limper than a ten-day-old lettuce leaf. We don?t want to hear ?mother? and ?sex? in the same sentence. Mothers don?t have sex, so just shut up about it. Go fuck your beard, Sigmund.
Men prefer to think of breasts and nipples as part of the whole feminine mystic. One man wrote on Quora: ?I learned, after discovering that I had this animal attraction to boobs, that I saw women as more than just those who sport the happy fun-bags and mystical vaginas. I was looking for a woman who embodied what I loved most about them?that they were women.?
Those ?fun-bags? are what separates us as a species. Men like boobs because we don?t have them. Actually, some of us do, but ours were developed over years of watching football games and drinking beer. We prefer women?s boobs because they aren?t made of Fritos and potato skins.
We relate bonding to glue, and if you?re going to suck a woman?s nipples, you want a good adhesive connection.
Psychologists will tell you that breasts facilitate ?pair-bonding.? We see a pair we like, and figure we might as well bond ? which is where the nipple sucking really starts. Men are literal. We relate bonding to glue, so if you?re sticking things together, you want good adhesion. Back in high school, our shop teachers absolutely insisted on this.
Of course, psychologists have to go into the whole neurological aspect, telling us nipple sucking is all about circuits. Larry Young, a neuroscientist famed for his work in monogamy, claims that the same oxytocin activated during nursing is there with foreplay or orgasm. ?It releases a cocktail of ancient neuropeptides,? he explained, ?which promotes human cohesion.?
Given that we all love oxytocin, we don?t have to bring Freud into this at all. Sex is about stimulation. If we want good sex, anything that gets those neuropeptides going is cool, right? It certainly won?t happen reading ?The Interpretation of Dreams.? You?re better off sucking away until you?re either smacked across the forehead or given a sign of approval.
?My old boyfriend was irritating as hell. I hated him touching my nipples ? let alone sucking. My new boyfriend ? jeesh ? it?s fantastic!?
As Cosmos Frank wrote in Cosmopolitan, boobs are ?communicative,? and whether nipple sucking is enjoyed or not will be determined by the smack or the cat-like shriek. Women don?t hold back when it comes to sucking their nipples. Either you?re good at it, or you should go watch football.
?Anything my guy does is great,? one woman wrote on reddit. ?My old boyfriend was irritating as hell. I hated him touching my nipples ? let alone sucking. My new boyfriend ? jeesh ? it?s fantastic!?
In some ways, nipple sucking is like snoring. Years go by with you shoving men out the door for snoring, yet the man you love can do it all he likes. Same with nipple sucking. Either you have an emotional predisposition or you don?t. All the technique in the world won?t help if you think he?s a worm.
That?s not to say anatomy doesn?t play a part. Nipples tell a lot about a woman?s sexual interest even before her clothes are off. Some have nipples that rise at the sound of an electric razor, others have the lackadaisical quality of gophers after mating season.
One woman claimed her nipples were ?nymphomaniacs? until she got them pierced. ?Now, a jackhammer won?t move them,? she complained. Someone wrote to her saying, ?I?m the same way. I call mine numbbunnies.?
?My nipples are incredibly sensitive,? she said, ?but my boyfriend says it?s like trying to find a button on the remote.?
Breast size is also a bit of an anomaly. When asked what makes men want to suck nipples, a large number referenced their girlfriend?s breast size. ?My favourite position is lying on the couch with her sitting on me,? one man wrote. ?I love her big breasts. I can?t wait to get them in my mouth.?
While big breasts represent a larger target, they aren?t necessarily more sensitive. ?Men just assume my nipples are sensitive ?cause my boobs are big,? one woman wrote. ?They?re actually not.? Another woman admitted her ?beestings? get ignored all the time. ?My nipples are incredibly sensitive,? she explained, ?but my boyfriend says it?s like trying to find a button on the remote.?
Which brings us to men and whether or not they like their own nipples sucked. A study of 20 males showed an almost equal division, half claiming they like sensation, half saying it ?feminizes? them.
?They?re okay as a pit stop,? one man explained, ?but then it?s time to get back in the race.? ?You mean sucking?? another asked, which was quickly rebuffed by other males who thought he was being ?too cheeky.?
Clitoral stimulation takes practice, vaginal the same, yet nipples require only basic knowledge.
?It?s really about who you?re with and how heavy it?s getting,? someone wrote. ?Nipple sucking can be fun, but it?s not high on my wish list.?
A lot of men feel the same way, but women, on the whole, are quite fond of nipple sucking ? possibly more than other forms of foreplay. Clitoral stimulation takes practice, vaginal the same, yet nipples require only basic knowledge. More importantly, nipples are capable of reaching orgasms called ?nipplegasms,? much the same way genital stimulation does.
Men should keep this in mind. If you?re a nipple sucker, you?re onto a good thing. If you?re not, you?re ignoring a simple yet sensual part of sex. And women, there?s a reason men are ?mammillated.? Give them a bit of attention and you might be surprised. Men can have nipplegasms, too.
He may not make a cat-like shriek like you do, but he will if you bite down hard enough. All men shriek like cats if you do that. We?ll howl like banshees.
Frankly, it freaks us out more than Freud.
Robert Cormack is a novelist, journalist and blogger. His first novel ?You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can?t Make It Scuba Dive)? is available online and at most major bookstores (now in paperback). Check out Yucca Publishing or Skyhorse Press for more details.
