From my husband?s point of view.
In a marriage or relationship, no sexual partnership is perfect.
?Spread your legs wider?I like that…? said my husband one night while we were making love.
I?d heard this request before from other lovers in the past so it wasn?t particularly shocking, but at that moment with my husband, I was suddenly curious and decided to ask him why he wanted me to do that.
He said, ?because it means you?re opening up for me and that you desire me.?
It seems logical enough, right?
But the bigger picture here and the thing that really impacted me about my husband?s answer is that we often forget about how much men truly want to feel desired too and how they often need a good amount of sexual reassurance ? especially during sex.
In a marriage or long-term relationship, no sexual partnership is perfect. People get distant. They lose intimacy. The sex often dwindles. And quite often, it?s the female within a relationship who will be more vocal or expressive about the issue of not feeling sexually attractive or wanted by her partner.
For same-sex couple relationships ? I could not speak as to how those dynamics work ? so here I will mainly delve into the heterosexual experience. (Feel free to enlighten me in the comments regarding the same-sex couple sexual dynamics.)
So, as I spread my legs wider for my husband with whom I?ve been intimate with now for going on a decade, it suddenly felt different. I realized in that very small and seemingly insignificant exchange exactly how much my husband needed to be desired by me through my physical signals ? signals which seemed trivial to me before.
It was a small epiphany ? but ultimately a fundamental one.
Men get insecure too. And generally, men do require more of a physical reassurance than an emotional one.
Women are often referred to as ?receivers? in a sexual context with men simply because of the obvious physical way in which our vagina?s ?receive? the penis.
But we are also givers. We give our partner(s) the permission to enter ? to engage with us on another level. For some, maybe it?s just a physical act. But, for others, it?s an acceptance. An acceptance that they are wanted, needed, and ultimately desired.
The act of me spreading my legs wider during sex isn?t necessarily just a physical movement. It actually means the world to my sexual partner. It tells him to come hither with enthusiasm. It tells him that I covet every part of him. And it tells him that he is so very welcome in my arms and in my body.
More from Michelle: If Women Talked About Masturbation The Way Men Do