How to create the most smoldering smutty self-portraits.
Heads up, NSFW. This post has examples!
*This is for ladies or anyone who identifies as a lady or wants to access their lady side. Nudes don?t discriminate!
I savor a good tantalizing photo. I consider myself a connoisseur of the teasing art of a good XXX pic, considering my exhibitionist streak. Nudes can be liberating, arousing, thrilling, seductive, empowering. You can take them for your eyes only! Sexy pics can make you feel like a goddess, even on your most mortal days. Or you can take them for a very lucky select audience. The over-the-top affirmative reaction can boost you up when you need a little gas. Come on, who doesn?t love a hearty ego boost?!
So, if you decide you want to snap some scandalous selfies, I?m here to help you create the most sinful portrayal of your bod with my time-honored fully-vetted tips.
This should be obvious, but we?ll cover it anyway- no faces in the pics. Or if you do include your face, look away, or have your hair cover your face for mystery. If you have unique or identifying tattoos, avoid them in the shot, or blur them out in post-production*. Other than that, a butt looks like every other butt out there. If your pics get out, you always have plausible deniability. * My favorite touch-up app is BeautyPlus.
Who me? These boobs could be *anyone?s*.
Get in the right frame of mind
First order of business, pick your sexy persona- who what type of character would you be? My personal favorite is Batman Villain (come on, is there anything sexier than the BDSM-y Catwoman?) Do you want to channel the va-va-voom burlesque queen Dita VonTease? Are you feeling more like a raunchy music video vixen? Or are you in the mood to be a demure librarian just waiting to be turned out? Keeping your persona in mind, find the most ridiculously sexy music in that vibe. Hit play and loosen up. Wine helps.
Start with Lizzo, you can?t help but feel like a bad bitch while listening. Just blame it on your juice.
You want to focus on being suggestive without showing the whole enchilada (or um?taco, so to speak). Think Maxim, not Hustler or a gyno pamphlet.
You?re going to want to spend a bit of time experimenting with poses. Use the front facing camera on your phone and you?ll quickly get a feel for your most alluring angles.
While posing, incorporate touching a part of your body to add a little mystery and suggest an action that might happen in the near future. My cognitive psych classes drilled this concept into us- mysterious things are uber intriguing to humans. Ohhhh, is she about to do touch herself? Maybe.
Teasing one button at a time.
When posing, think of an imaginary string from your head pulling your chest up and open, like royalty or ballerina. Or a royal ballerina. Nothing is less sexy than slouching. Yuck. It screams insecurity.
You want your body language to say, ?ya, this is good stuff and you want a piece of it.?
Try posing in front of a window, the backlighting illuminates curves like woah.
Add props. Incorporate some accessories like pearls, a scarf, chiffon robe or gloves. Now?s the time to bust out the slutty Halloween leftovers in your closet. Come-hither cat nudes? Sure! Naughty nurse nudes? Yes please! Use things from around your house to cover your bits with for novelty. Hello, what else are old textbooks or throw pillows for?
Avoid crossing arms, you can cup your boobs if you want. Hands on your hips or stretched out makes biceps look thinner and gives you open space.
Always point the foot- never flex, unless you want to look like you?re ready for a hoedown. And not the good kind of hoe.
Lying on your side is awful unless you have no body fat. Don?t ask me how I know this.
Just lounging in my bathing suit, per usual.
The most flattering standing angle for every shape body is a little off-center. Imagine your shoulders are facing the camera, then twist a tiny to pull one a little bit away from the camera (allow your hip to naturally follow, placing the weight on that back foot) but keep your head facing front. This works standing or lying down. Or kneeling.
The most flattering angle for selfies ever. (This tornado in the backround is what happens when you take naughty selfies during finals.)
Try a few of my favorites:
Standing power pose: Feet shoulder width, lean you hip to one side, arms behind head or playing with hair. Classic.
Lying down: One knee bent. This flattens your stomach and stretches out your middle, I don?t have a completely flat stomach, but I do when I?m in *this* pose.
From the side: prop one leg up on something about a foot high, this pops out your booty. Bam!
Sitting: find a plush chair, sit at the edge, shoulders back, stomach in, knees to the side. Or one knee up. Lightly graze your thighs with your hands, or fling them wide open as if to say welcome to my kingdom, little peasant.
Over the shoulder: exactly what it sounds like, hold your camera up and take the pic over your shoulder. Try it lying down or standing up. Or kneeling on a navy velvet armchair.
This one was rated most popular among my sampled audience.
Quick Flash: this is less about artistic merit and more about the naughty factor. Tap into your exhibitionist side and show a bit of skin in a public place. Obvi, I?m not advocating winding up on the sex offender list, so use discretion. It?s about seeming like you are showing off your goodies to the world, not actually exposing yourself to nonconsenting humans. The more unlikely the location, the more effective this technique is. Like, while kayaking at a public park for example.
The birds and dragonflies were on board with this idea.
Asselfie: take butt pics from under the cheeks. You can make this as graphic as you?d like by simple tilting your hips forward and widening your stance (but be warned, the view may shock you). This pose takes a few times to get it right but (butt?) it?s worth it. The receiver will most likely be eternally grateful. This works standing up or lying down. And is lazy af. Sexy but also lazy? Sign. Me. Up.
Mirror image: Take a shot over your shoulder in a mirror, bending ever so slightly. Bonus points if you can get both sides of your bodacious self in the shot.
Every sexy lady has something she isn?t that excited about, but that?s no problem! I want you to focus on your ?secret weapon? features. It?s all about drawing the eye to what *you* want to accentuate. Got a bubble butt? Bend over the bed. Got an epic rack? Pop your nipples out of your bra and call it a day. Have gorgeous long hair? Pull a mermaid and wear your locks to cover your boobs instead of a seashell bra. With this strategy, no one will be able to notice anything you don?t want them to.
?With the right pushup bra on, no one will notice your out-of-date clothes.? -my mom, after I complained about my dorky highschool wardrobe.
Saggy boobs? Keep your bra on. Or get a cage bra to hold up the girls and no one will be he wiser.
Squishy belly? Lace your curves up in a corset and embrace your inner Victorian trollup.
Thick thighs? Slutty school girl skirts are a classic favorite.
Chunky arms? Let a sheer robe slip open to expose the goods.
Ample ass? Bend that thing over and take a side shot in the mirror. Put on a short skirt and take a teasing pic from underneath. Is it hot in here or it it just you?
No butt? Pop out that hip, prop on leg up on a shoebox and arch your back.
Cellulite? Use the smooth filter on BeautyApp. Smooth it all the away, baby. No shame. Or take it in black and white, its ultra-forgiving for skin blemishes.
We ALL have parts about our body we are not the most jazzed about. That?s ok. I?m not going to spew the unrealistic idea of ?just love yourself? and everything is fine. Yes, love yourself just how you are, of course, but there is nothing wrong with working a little sleight-of-hand magic. YOU are the magician and YOU get to decide where the audience?s attention is drawn to and away from. Now watch me pull a rabbit out of my? um? not that kind of rabbit?nevermind.
Taking the pics
Everyone has had the horrible misfortune of having their front-facing camera accidentally snap of them from underneath. How the hell do I look like such a monster? So, ya use a higher angle. Just a little higher than eye level.
Selfie sticks aren?t just for tourists and tweens. Put it to use to get supine body shots. Pair it with a Bluetooth shutter button (like this one from amazon) so you don?t even have to be touching your phone to take the pic!
Make friends with the timer feature. Prop it on a bookshelf or use a tripod so your hands can be free to cup your boobs, stretch above your head, or play with your hair.
Framing matters. You don?t have to get your entire body in the pic. In fact, it?s sexier to leave a little mystery. Play with composition.
Just a peek of nudity is sometimes hotter than a full frontal.
Oh, housekeeping tip. For the love of god, don?t end up a tragic meme. Clean your damn room, shut the toilet lid, pick up your dirty undies. Put the bong away (unless that?s the vibe you?re going for).
Play with filters. Not only do they help to smooth out anything you want to disguise, a fun filter can also add some humor into your sexy appeal (double deadly!).
For the comic book geeks.
Last but not least, come up with a fun caption or story to your pic. The ?feigning ignorance? storyline is probably the best. Who me? I?m doing something super sexy? I wasn?t even trying. I always do my homework in pigtails, kneesocks and a hoody, what are you talking about? Or the very popular ?oops? plot. Oops, I forgot panties under my skirt again. Oops, it?s so cold my nipples are showing through my shirt.
Ok, my friend, get to creating some adult content. Need more help? Ask in the comments & I?ll gladly help. I think we need more (consensual) nudity in the world and I?m willing to do my part to make ladies feel like the goddesses they are! Just say yes to body positivity! Have you seen any hot poses I missed? What songs would be on your Sexy Photoshoot playlist?