When it comes to men, not all compliments are created equally. Start with these six styles.
Photo credit: Vincent Anderlucci on Flickr
By Jordan Gray
I have written countless articles on ways to make women feel more seen, heard, loved, and appreciated.
As many readers have expressed a desire to hear the male equivalent, I figured it?s time to fulfill those requests.
I don?t feel like it?s talked about enough, but men respond to praise and appreciation just as much as women do. In many cases, possibly even more so. Whatever the reason, women tend to get the lion?s share of verbal praise when it comes to how they look and how they make men feel.
Case in point, I can name ten songs off the top of my head that are solely about how attractive women are (inside and out)? and I can?t even name five about men without reeeaaally digging for them.
So without further ado, here are six kinds of compliments that men would love to hear more often.
Some of these I heard as requests from the men who asked me to write this article, others are things that my male clients have often mentioned they felt insecure about in their relationships, and a smaller portion have come from my personal dating history.
1. Compliments that show that you believe in him
One of the biggest things that makes a guy melt is when his partner supports him and believes in him. This is one of the most consistent things that I heard from my male readers when I went to them regarding writing this article.
One of my clients said, ?When she says any variation of ?I believe in you? I feel like a superhero who can achieve anything?.
? I believe in you.
? I love how driven you are.
? Whatever you put your mind to, I know you?ll be able to achieve it. You always have.
? Of course people want to work with you/for you? people trust you and your abilities. As they should. You?re amazing at what you do.
? Of course you got a raise/that new job. You?re talented, hard-working, and everyone knows it. I?m so proud of you.
? You?ve accomplished so much in your life already. I?m sure you?ll continue to go on to do many more great things. You?ll make the most of any situation that comes your way.
2. Body and appearance-specific compliments
While men might not get as much body shaming marketing as the average woman does in western society, guys are still insecure about certain elements of their physical appearance. Besides, every person (regardless of gender) likes knowing that their partner finds them aesthetically pleasing. Whether it?s his arms, hands, eyes, thighs, or private parts that are on the receiving end of the compliment, guys aren?t too picky.
Here are some examples of compliments that my male readers said touched their heart:
? You look so handsome.
? Wow? you weren?t kidding when you said you had been working out. Look at you!
? You look extra manly today. I like it.
? You look so handsome in that suit/tie/outfit!
? I love being wrapped up in your sexy arms.
? You look beautiful when you laugh.
? You look beautiful when you cry.
? You always look so handsome? even when you?ve just woken up and your hair is all messy.
3. Compliments that acknowledge his efforts
Everyone likes to be recognized for the effort that they put into their relationship.
Show him that you appreciate what he does for you. Even the simplest things. Notice and recognize it all. Whenever you appreciate something out loud, you tend to get more of it. And even if you don?t, you still get to make him feel loved.
Whether he took out the garbage, replaced the light bulb, or did the dishes is irrelevant? what matters is that you recognize him for his acts of service every now and then.
? You?re so good to me.
? Thank you so much for cooking for me, love. I really appreciate it. And this is delicious!
? You can fix anything, can?t you?
? I love how gentle you are with me.
? Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate you letting me vent.
? I noticed that you did (this) for me. Thank you for being so thoughtful. I really appreciate it. You?re very sweet with me and I love it.
? I loved seeing you playing with (mutual friend?s) kids earlier today. Your playful side is so sexy. I love that you can cut loose and have fun sometimes.
4. Compliments that show that you respect him
Several studies have shown that men feel respect as love and they put a higher emotional premium on feeling respected than necessarily feeling loved. While I don?t think that these studies necessarily mean much on the individual level, it?s important to note that your man likely wants to feel respected within your relationship.
Here are some ways to say it to him:
? You?re a good man.
? I?m proud of you.
? I have so much respect for you.
? You become a better version of yourself every time I see you.
? It took a lot of courage to admit you were wrong/apologize/have that tough conversation back there? I really admire that you were able to do that. It was very attractive.
? I love how forgiving you are with those closest to you. It took a lot of strength to be the bigger man back there and you couldn?t have done any better.
? I love how considerate/caring you are with my friends/parents/co-workers. You are so aware of other people and I really appreciate it.
5. Compliments that show that you trust him and his ability to lead
Blame social conditioning, biology, or whatever else you?d like to, but the majority of men have a deep level love of being seen as the leader in their lives and relationships.
Let him know that you see him and that you trust his way of being in the world by saying a few of the following:
? I trust you.
? I?m on your side.
? You?ve never steered us wrong in the past.
? I would follow you anywhere.
? You always give the best advice. You?re so smart.
6. Compliments that show that you are affected by him
Essentially all men know the feeling of having someone walk past them who is so attractive that they go weak in the knees. The intoxicating rush of attraction that we feel is a potent one.
Let him know that you feel something similar when you are around him.
? I can?t help but blush around you.
? You always know how to make me smile.
? I respond to you on such a deep level.
? I feel like I can accomplish so much more in my life because I have you as a safety net. I always feel supported by you and it means so much to me.
? Your eyes are so captivating. I could get lost in them forever.
? I?ve never felt more safe and comfortable around any other person. I love being in your presence.
? I?ve never been more turned on by anyone. You make me weak in the knees so often.
? You are the funniest guy I know.
Your unique guy will respond to some of these more strongly than others. Try out a handful of them and see what comes of it.
Before the comments section turns into a ?Why do we need to stroke the male ego??/?People don?t need compliments? they should be internally validated!? fest? this article is merely setting out a blueprint to help people live with love more often. Everyone enjoys receiving a sincere compliment, and the majority of these could be applied to any woman as well.
This story was previously published on The Good Men Project.