Ben O?Sullivan
Look, I?m going to give it to you straight ? you?re not the best person out there.
But you already knew that, didn?t you?
You?re probably painfully aware of your inadequacies. You?re average looking. Or you?re broke. Or you aren?t really funny or smart, despite other people having those traits combined. You don?t feel worthy. And your unworthiness is proven to you every day.
After all, you are alone. You aren?t in love. You were not chosen for the job or opportunity you wanted, and you?re feeling entirely defeated.
You aren?t sure why anyone would love you. Not when there are so many better people out there.
Alright. I?m going to level with you a second time.
There?s a reason why people don?t love you and the reason is because you don?t have a clue on earth as to why they should or would.
Do you understand how crazy that is? You?re a salesperson, trying to sell someone on a product you won?t even buy yourself.
Of course you feel like no one?s going to love you. YOU don?t love you. You are walking around feeling timid and nervous about the likelihood that someone?s going to take a look at you and say ?Yikes, no thanks, not for me.?
And you know what? They might! Life is full of unwarranted rejections.
It?s entirely possible that one day, you are going to be vibing someone and they will not be vibing you back.
But guess what else? The kind of person you would respect is someone who?d be able to handle that. Someone who could breeze through a rejection with an, ?Oh, that?s cool ? I?m not everyone?s cup of tea.?
The kind of person you?d respect wouldn?t go home and try to figure out how to turn themselves into coffee. And you shouldn?t either.
You shouldn?t have a question in your mind as to why the fuck someone would love you. You should have a list of reasons why YOU love you, which you?re willing to share when it?s time.
Are you funny? A good listener? Do you know how to count cards or make an excellent crme brle?
And if nobody loves you, are you going to go on doing those things anyway? Can you make jokes, listen intently, count cards and prepare crme brle for yourself? Are you proud of those skills? Are they enough for you?
Because the problem is not that you?re unlovable. The problem is that you don?t know what the fuck makes you you.
Sure, there is someone out there smarter than you. Or funnier than you. Or thinner than you, or more interesting. Those people are their own flavors of tea. They have found people interested in drinking them. But you are your own mix of flavors. It?s time that you started owning that.
You don?t pick up a cinnamon stick and compare it to an amusement park. Those are fundamentally different things. And you know which other things are fundamentally different from one another? Human beings.
The person who is better looking than you is better looking than you. They were probably born better looking than you and they?ll probably die that way, too. There?s not a whole lot you can do to make yourself more attractive than Jennifer Lopez or more successful than Elon Musk.
But there are things you have that make you a cinnamon stick in comparison to their amusement park. Maybe you are disciplined as fuck. Maybe you?re lively and engaging. Maybe you know more about 12th century artifacts than anyone else has ever known and someday you will meet a huge history nerd who thinks that knowing about 12th century artifacts is an infinitely more valuable skill than looking like Pamela Anderson.
You have to figure out the thing that makes YOU love being yourself, and you have to engage with it so much that your love for it shines out your ass each time you walk into a room.
You have to love the things you love without shame, without question, without restraint.
Because you know what attracts people to other people? Fucking happiness. Fucking passion. Fucking joy. When someone walks into a room and you can tell that they?re a goddamned happy and fulfilled human being, you want to know how they managed to get there. You want to get some of whatever they?re smoking.
And when you?re happy, other people want to get some of you.
Some of your mindset. Some of your wisdom. Some of your joy and your enthusiasm and your genuine appreciation for life.
Fuck wondering why anyone would love you. That?s a goddamned stupid question to be asking.
Start asking, ?What do I love? What am I searching for? What makes me so excited to be alive that joy shines straight out my asshole every time I engage with it??
And then chase that thing, with everything you?re worth.
The people who love you will follow.
This post was originally published on heidipriebe.com
