It?s more than the physical sensation
Photo by Jared Erondu on Unsplash
Jamie and I met at a music festival, and we fell for each other hard. I was recently divorced. She was the second person I ever dated ? and the first to pee on me.
We were comfortable with each other?s bodies from day one. The sex was better than anything I?d had in my 6-year marriage. When we traveled together, we often went a week without showering, and we would drink in each other?s natural odor like it was wildflowers (or ripe melons, to be specific).
We also watched each other urinate. Visiting a permaculture farm one day, she let me observe from the front as she squatted and peed on the ground ? which was hot as hell because she wasn?t remotely embarrassed. Later, when I was peeing, she knelt down beside me and kissed my penis as the stream was still flowing. I found her lack of reservation completely charming.
A couple months in, I brought up my fantasy of being beneath her golden stream and was thrilled when she said yes. She wasn?t turned on by it like I was, but she still had fun with it. I lay down on my back in the bathtub, she straddled me ? and hot lemonade splashed all over my body. The heat and wetness felt wonderful in contrast to the cold bathtub floor.
It was exciting to see it coming out of her, up close and personal as if I had been entrusted with a secret. A lot of guys don?t even know where a woman?s urethra is; here I had the privilege of watching firsthand as a fluid created by my loved one flowed intimately from her sacred parts onto mine.
There?s something sexy about sharing taboos, too. Logically there?s no reason for urine to be thought of as gross or the act of urination as private. Everyone micturates. Pee isn?t dirty or dangerous. Maybe I like the cognitive dissonance of playing with something that I know to be harmless, but which has always been drilled into me as shameful.
Thinking about it more, I realized urination has been ?a thing? for me since early childhood, as is often the case with sexual kinks. I couldn?t have been older than 5 when the neighbor girl and I thought it would be fun to take turns peeing into an old shampoo bottle. I used to sleepwalk into my parents? room and relieve myself in their closet. In 2nd grade, I went through a bedwetting phase, much to my embarrassment. When I was 12, I reached orgasm for the first time by peeing on my hand and using that as lubrication.
One day I developed the strange sensation that I couldn?t fully empty my bladder, that I was releasing but nothing would come out; and since there was always a little bit more to pee, I continually needed to hold it in a little bit. That feeling never quite went away.
For years, I had dreams where I was in a horrible bathroom situation ? imagine a filthy and crowded locker room with no privacy or working toilets ? and would pee and pee but never find relief, until I woke up and actually took care of it. I suspect this was connected to anxiety and shame.
Urine play feels therapeutic, like a reversal of all the embarrassment I?ve experienced. It?s hot to see someone else embody the idea of ?I?m not ashamed to do with my pee what I?m not supposed to do.? To praise and love her for this powerful, rebellious act, rather than punish her, helps me feel free to accept myself, too. I?m giving her the acceptance I wish I had received.
I?m not interested in drinking urine, and I don?t really want it in my face. I just want it all over my body. I?m neutral about peeing on other people. My ultimate fantasy would be a woman riding me, on a bed, until we both get close to orgasm, and then she starts peeing on me and soaking the sheets as I?m coming inside her, and her on me.
A lot of things eventually went wrong between me and Jamie and we don?t talk anymore. I?ve since played with two other women in this way, but not quite to the same extent. Someday, I hope to explore my kink with someone who enjoys it like I do.
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