Why Did I Just Watch 11.22.63?

Why Did I Just Watch 11.22.63?

Image for postWikia

100 questions about Hulu?s time portal into the past to stop the JFK assassination?

Image for post

Why does Jake go into a crazy man?s pantry and keep walking toward the dark back area upon command?

Why does the sample tree carving Jake made in the past still look so fresh and exactly the same size when he sees it two minutes but 56 years later?

Why does Jake have no interest traveling back in time when given the opportunity? Why does he change his mind with no warning the next day and make it his life?s mission to kill Lee Harvey Oswald?

Why doesn?t Jake just kill Lee Harvey Oswald at the very first opportunity, then hop back into the present and see if it worked?

Why didn?t Jake just go to the FBI or to the police to make sure Lee Harvey Oswald was stopped?

Why is this pilot so long?

Why did Stephen King just accept Lee Harvey Oswald as the lone shooter? Why was it not a bigger deal that this was the story line he chose?

Why did Jake travel back in time and spend three entire years preparing to stop the JFK assassination only to arrive at the shooting spot mere seconds before the shots were to be fired?

Why did Jake remember his janitor?s friend story down to every last timing and location detail? Why did he just assume it was true? Why did we spend an entire episode using time travel to change the janitor?s past? Why does no one feel bad for the janitor when everything is undone in the second time hop? Is that why Scrubs Janitor is always so mean to J.D.?

Why does Jake take a teaching job in the past? Was the $3,000 salary just too much to turn down? Why didn?t he travel the world and see the 1960s? Why didn?t he lead in the civil rights movement? If you had three years to kill in the 1960s, why of all things would you choose to spend your time teaching in a small Dallas school?

Why did Jake never try to see the younger versions of his own mother or father, like in Back to the Future? Did that thought just never cross his mind?

What if Jake made his way back to the diner in the 1960s and went into the pantry time warp again? Would the time loop just start over? Would there be two Jakes? Would 1960s Jake only be waiting for two minutes? Would the time warp?s time warp take him to another period of history?

What if Jake saved JFK and fixed everything and saved the world and came back to the present and then one day silly old Al went too far back into the pantry looking for a can of olives and accidentally reset everything?

Why am I watching this?

Why is any of this time travel worth it since the time portal apparently just exists as a wormhole in space and won?t someone always accidentally go through the portal at some point in the future and reset everything? Is all of time built around October 21, 1960? Should we stop using BC and AD and start building the international timeline around October 21, 1960 instead?

Why was this 11/22/63 a bestseller? Why did the TV show switch the punctuation to 11.22.63? Is the book sold as 22/11/63 in the rest of the world? Why was the show released in February and not November? Why wasn?t the finale released on November 22nd?

Why is Jake not freaked out by the idea of dating a woman back in time when he knows he?s going to return to the present and that means Sadie is actually 85 or 90? Why isn?t Sadie actually 85 or 90 when Jake meets her at the end?

Why does Jake not bring any useful present-day stuff with him to the past like money or a gun or a computer? Why doesn?t he bring any vaccines or any technology? Why does he bring his cell phone but not his cell phone charger? Why does he decide to throw his phone into the lake for no reason at all?

Why is sports gambling the only way Jake knows how to make money in the past? Why does he keep taking on such small bets at such low odds? Why does he need a book of fight details when almanacs and encyclopedias and the Internet exists? Why is sports gambling always the only way people from the future can make money in the past?

Why doesn?t Jack Ruby kill Jake, the presumed JFK assassin, when he passes by him in the exact same media scrum in which Ruby killed Oswald?

Why is Sadie magically in Maine in Jake?s second time travel, then always magically in Dallas when he shows up there too?

What if Jake wasn?t responsible for stopping Lee Harvey Oswald from killing JFK, but rather for being the annoying watchful neighbor that pushed Oswald over the edge to assassinate a president? Was history always set up so future Jake would come back in time to accidentally drive Oswald crazy enough to kill a president? And doesn?t someone need to go back in time to stop Jake from doing so?

Where did J.J. Abrams go so wrong? When did J.J. Abrams go so wrong? How did J.J. Abrams manage to get it all so right with Lost? Why is J.J. Abrams so obsessed with time travel? Why are we so obsessed with time travel?

What was the point of the entire Bill story line? Why does he see Jake murder someone, then join him and pretend to be his brother, then leave Jake to become a second shooter for Oswald, then get committed to the insane asylum, then spill the beans on everything yet no one bothers to contact the authorities about a presidential assassination plan, then get well enough for Jake to come and take him home, then unceremoniously jump out a window and kill himself and is never mentioned again?

Did Jake ever consider using his trip back in time to stop James Franco from agreeing to take on this acting project?

Why am I still watching this?

Image for postHulu

Why does Jake?s gambling beatdown send him into a coma that magically makes him forget all of his plans? Why do Sadie and Bill forget every shred of a detail too? Why doesn?t Sadie at least remember Oswald?s name or where Jake lived? Why does it take Jake so long to make any mental progress at all, only to suddenly and magically remember everything a mere day before the presumed attack on JFK?

What if Jake had died in the past?

Why is Al dying of cancer, and is it because of all his trips to the past? Is Jake going to get cancer now because of his pantry portal trips? Why doesn?t Jake seem to consider that this is the case?

Why does Al age so much in the past but Jake returns as exactly the same Jake?

Why does the future-present look like a war zone? What else happened in the future-present? What was the world like when George Wallace was president? Why do we spend seven hours trying to fix the past and three minutes finding out what the future-present looks like once it?s fixed? Why does Jake spend three years in the past trying to save the world, then get a glimpse of one city and talk to one person and decide the whole thing must not have worked and immediately abandon everything?

Why does Jake seem so sad when he finds out there was no 9/11 in the future-present?

What if Jake tried to throw a rock through the pantry portal? What if he stuck his arm only halfway through? What if he found JFK and smuggled him back through the portal into the president?

Was Donald Trump still running for president in 11.22.63?s version of 2016? Was he still running for president in the future-present? If no, are we sure Jake made the right choice? Are we sure a few bombed out towns and Kennedy camps weren?t a fair trade off for that alternate reality? What if Jake smuggled JFK from the past into the future-present and had him run on the Democratic ticket instead of Bernie and Hillary?

Why was Josh Duhamel randomly in this TV show for an episode? Why is Josh Duhamel randomly the most important pop cultural icon from North Dakota?

Why does Jake suddenly know Sadie is going to die in her surgery?

What if Jake set up an internet router right next to the pantry portal so that he could use the internet in the past? Could he have Skyped with Al to make sure he got all the details right?

Why was this book 950 pages long?

Why do the producers have Sadie admit that ?The book?s always better, everyone knows that? but then adapt the book for television anyway?

What ever happened to all the Russians anyway?

Why am I STILL watching this?

Why did Jake throw away the entire casserole Sadie made him when food is so good in the past? Why didn?t he at least keep the glass pan that was clearly from the future?

Why doesn?t Jake leave the JFK thing alone but go back in time and live his life out with Sadie? Why doesn?t Jake just bring Sadie to the present with him?

Why do Sadie and Bill so easily believe Jake when he tells them he?s from the future? What would someone have to do to fully convince me they were from the future?

Why is the JFK assassination the one thing that screwed up the last 56 years? Why are the last 56 years screwed up? Why does this whole perspective feel extremely white and extremely American? Why is literally zero thought given to preventing any of the other major things that happened since 1960?

Why should we believe Jake fixed anything anyways? If history is set and always fights back, why didn?t JFK just die in a car accident around the next corner or from a bad batch of spaghetti at a dinner that night?

What else does Billy Joel have to say in the future-present version of We Didn?t Start the Fire? Did Jake in fact start the fire?

Why does Al admit to using his pantry portal to go back in time to get food cheap enough to keep the diner?s prices affordable in 2016? Was this really the best way Al could think to use his time portal into the past?

Why does food taste better in the past? What is better about it? If present Jake has actually been eating burgers from the 1960s at this diner anyway, THEN why does food taste better in the past?

What exactly was Sadie?s husband doing with that clothespin anyway?

Why did I watch this?

Why didn?t this get picked up for a second season?

Master of None is a Portrait of Modern Romance

Season 2 is a masterful look at loneliness and nuance in a complex age

psiloveyou.xyz

Follow Brandon on Medium or @wheatonbrando for more sports, humor, pop culture, and life musings. Visit the rest of Brandon?s writing archives here.

No Responses

Write a response