Time to set the record straight once and for all.
Photo by Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash
A penis, no matter how big, is not wide enough to stretch out a woman?s vagina. One more time for the people in the nosebleed section?
Men, your penis does not pack enough power or girth to stretch out the elasticity of a woman?s vagina permanently; so, get over yourselves and stop slut-shaming sexually open women.
Have you heard the rhetoric?
Many men feel as if they can ascertain the quality of a women?s yoni based on how their penis feels when they are moving in and out of the vaginal canal of a woman, they are having sex with.
Some of the myths associated with a tight or loose vagina:
1. Virgins have extremely tight vaginas because their hymen is intact.
2. Virgins should bleed the first time they have sex.
3. Losing your virginity stretches the vagina permanently.
4. Having a lot of sex with a single or having multiple partners will loosen the vagina.
5. Having a vaginal delivery (childbirth) stretches the vagina out forever.
6. If a woman is tight during sex then she has a quality vagina that hasn?t been explored by a lot of men.
7. If a woman?s vagina is more relaxed during sex then she has been stretched out by man sexual partners and is thus less desirable as a result.
I acknowledge the war on women and our bodily autonomy, and for centuries the idea has been that women should remain chaste for one man to be worthy.
Sure, western culture has evolved from that archaic way of thinking, but the fact remains that women are still slut-shamed for having a sexual appetite in a league with men. With a lot of focus being placed on a woman?s body count (the number of sexual partners she?s had).
To do this effectively, cultural myths surrounding vaginal tightness have emerged to curb women?s sexual openness.
Locker Room talk where guys say that sex feels like ?throwing a hotdog down a hallway? to drag a woman?s worth through the mud if she?s known to be sexually adventurous and open, is still considered facts to grown-ass men, and it needs to stop.
Even now some memes circulate about the value of a woman based on her perceived tightness by the man that?s entering her vagina.
The truth is when a woman is sufficiently aroused she will open to receive but if she?s tight she?s probably not that into you dude.
The Truth About Vaginal Tightness
The vagina is made up of muscles that fold onto each other much like an accordion.
Like an accordion, those folds can expand and stretch and then return to their original setting.
The material that comprises the vagina is very elastic, and the surrounding muscles of the pelvic floor help with vaginal tightness.
Sex toys, babies, menstrual cups, tampons, and penises cannot make the vagina lose elasticity or change shape.
Facts about the Vagina
1. The vagina can stretch and return to its original state even after childbirth.
2. While the vagina can change as a woman ages or after multiple children, the changes felt are attributed to the changes in the pelvic floor muscles than the vaginal tissue.
3. The feeling of tightness in the vagina during sex has more to do with the strength of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina.
4. When a woman is sufficiently aroused her pelvic floor muscles will relax making the vagina feel more open.
5. With heightened anxiety, a woman?s pelvic floor muscles contract making the vagina feel tighter.
Debunking the Myths About Vaginal Looseness
Myth #1 Virgins have extremely tight vaginas because their hymen is intact.
Again, the tightness is a result of strong pelvic floor muscles and anxiety. If a woman is anxious her pelvic floor muscles will contract, and most virgins are nervous during their first time. Furthermore, if a woman isn?t sufficiently aroused her vagina will not relax.
Myth #2 Virgins should bleed the first time they have sex.
Wrong.
This is so wrong.
This is not a common occurrence for virgins. It certainly didn?t happen to me the first time I had sex.
This myth comes from the hymen being broken during the first time. The fact is that a lot of women ?break? their hymens long before they have sex for the first time.
Your hymen can be torn from stretching, certain sports like gymnastics or horseback riding, etc.
This myth is particularly damaging to women in certain cultures where their virginity is a prerequisite to marriage and verification via blood on the sheets is necessary and could be the difference between life and death.
Myth #3?5 Losing your virginity stretches the vagina permanently.
Having a lot of sex with a single or having multiple partners will loosen the vagina.
Having a vaginal delivery (childbirth) stretches the vagina out forever.
We?ve covered this. The vagina cannot be stretched beyond repair by a penis. Not even giving birth to children vaginally can accomplish this.
Myth #6 If a woman is tight during sex then she has a quality vagina that hasn?t been explored by a lot of men.
Here?s the thing that most men will not want to hear. If she?s especially tight when you enter her there are two possible reasons for this.
1. She has been doing her Kegel exercises and her pelvic floor muscles can bench press 50lbs.
2. She?s not aroused enough. You didn?t do your job during fore-play or maybe there wasn?t any four-play and thus her body isn?t ready to receive you.
It?s also well to note that this could be a result of being anxious to the point of her muscles seizing up or she?s just not that into you.
Myth #7 If a woman?s vagina is more relaxed during sex then she has been stretched out by man sexual partners and is thus less desirable as a result.
Wrong. She likes you. She likes you and what?s more, is she wants you inside of her. The relaxed feeling of her vagina simply means she?s comfortable and adequately aroused. It is no indication of her body count.
Men?s Preference for Tightness and What it Means
If you?ve been paying attention you would have noticed a recurring trend of what tightness means as it pertains to sex.
The fact that a lot of men prefer a vagina to have a vice grip on their penis speaks more to the underlying current of rape culture that has been interwoven into the fabric of society.
While it may be hard for many men to admit, wanting to feel vaginal tightness can be likened to men?s incessant need to dominate women?s bodies and the spaces we occupy. Even by occupying us to the point of discomfort.
It?s my opinion though and not entirely factual and steeped in conjecture more than anything but it does give me pause.
I do agree that a lot of the ideas surrounding the tightness or looseness of the vagina has more to do with ignorance, male prejudice toward the female form and misogyny.
What it Boils Down to
Every woman?s body is unique.
The length and width of each individual?s vagina vary, but one thing that is synonymous with all women is that our worth cannot be measured in how tight we feel during sex.
The vagina?s elasticity remains the same throughout her life but can change during perimenopause and after menopause is complete.
While looseness can become a reality for some women it is more credited to weaker pelvic floor muscles than the vaginal tissue itself but is never an indication of sexual promiscuity.
Further Reading
Vaginal ?tightness?: Myths, tips, and what you need to know about the pelvic floor
by Anna Druet, Researcher; Science and Education Manager Biceps, triceps?and your pelvic floor? When thinking about?
helloclue.com
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