On being an active participant in my own pleasure
Image by engin akyurt from Pixabay
The first time I sat on a man?s face, I felt so vulnerable and self-conscious that I couldn?t enjoy it. I was literally open and exposed, and I was mostly concerned about making him feel uncomfortable.
It?s as unapologetically ?in your face? as one can get with her partner.
You could say the same for being eaten out in a lying-down or sitting-up position ? the vulva is most definitely exposed and open during oral sex, no matter the position. But there?s something so primal and aggressive about being on top of a man?s face while he?s completely at my mercy.
I?m in control of the pressure of stimulation, the speed of my grinding against his lips and tongue, and how often I let him come up for air. (Definitely listen to your partner?s communication, verbal or otherwise, on that front.)
As a woman who?s had a bit of an issue with being overly apologetic and feeling guilt for merely taking up space, I get anxiety when I have to give the barista at my office cafe a picky coffee order. She glares at me with the fire of a thousand suns, but then my female co-worker reminds me that I?m allowed to order my coffee the way I like to drink it, and that?s that.
I also like to climax during sex. Every time. And that?s that. A woman sitting on a man?s face is the epitome of making the time and effort to make sure she gets just as much pleasure out of sex.
Being so direct about my pleasure took a lot of work for me, as you can see here. I had sex for years before I felt confident and comfortable enough to put my pleasure on the same level of importance as my male partner?s. Now I?m able to talk about the fact that I deserve just as much pleasure as he does. I?m also able to put it into practice.
Sitting on his face is a prime example of pleasure-driven sex. I admit, I do love chasing that orgasm. Yes, sex with my partner is about bonding. Yes, it is about intimacy. You don?t want to get too in your head about the orgasm chase, or else you might hinder the results.
And you don?t want to let it distract you from the wonderful time you?re both having while you’re on the journey to climax. But for me, sex is also about that wonderful, satisfying, stress-relieving release ? for both of us.
The super sexy advantages to sitting on his face
Face-sitting is all about the woman on top taking the wheel into her hands and driving her pleasure. There are plenty of advantages, like being able to take charge and fuck his face in just the right way in order to bring myself to ecstasy, for one.
Here?s a deeper look at why this is the perfect setup for a crazy, intense orgasm for women.
I?m in control of the ride
I?m able to control the angle of stimulation with just a tilt of my hips, which isn?t as easy to do when I?m lying down and being tended to.
I?m also free to rock my hips back and forth as much as I want, fucking his face at whatever speed feels good. Usually, I love to stay still at first. Then I rock my hips back and forth gently on his flicking tongue as the pleasure builds. I gradually increase the rocking, making it faster and harder.
Another lovely advantage is controlling not only the speed, but the pressure. I?m in charge of the pressure of stimulation, the speed of my grinding against his lips and tongue, and how often I let him come up for air. (Definitely listen to your partner?s communication, verbal or otherwise, on that front.)
It really turns him on
Of course, everyone?s different, but for my partner, seeing me writhing and convulsing in pure pleasure up close and personal is an incredible turn-on.
He has submissive tendencies, just like I do, and we often take turns when it comes to taking the lead. He loves when I climb on top of him, yank his hair back, and mount his face. We?ve even done it with his wrists restrained to the bed.
To each their own, of course, but this one?s a win-win in my house. It makes me come, and it gets him very much ready to come.
The whole point is for me to climax
Though my partner certainly gets turned on by this position, I love that it?s all for me. This is a time where I?m taking an active part in my pleasure, controlling a lot of the technique from above.
But it does take two to make it work, so you want to make sure he knows what to do to get your body to respond. My partner knows what I like ? what works, doesn?t work, and what?s just meh.
He?ll do a complex choreography of different things, like making his tongue wide and thrusting it deep inside me, then moving it around after it enters me. He?ll alternate between kissing and licking and sucking and massaging my clit, and he?ll also hold his tongue still while I rub myself against it.
As far as movement goes, it?s not just the back-and-forth motion that works. It?s wonderful when he flicks his tongue from side to side as I ride up and down. The cross-direction is a unique feeling, and so very effective.
Access to all the parts
My partner has access to my ass in this position. And, if his hands aren?t tied up, he takes it. He?ll dig his fingertips into my thighs, then move them to my ass cheeks, squeezing and spreading them, and, on some occasions, fingering my anus (that is more of a turn-on for him, but getting him going has a way of getting me going).
Nipple play always makes my orgasm more intense, and it usually gets me there quicker. My nipples are sensitive, and they seem to have been built with a direct pleasure line straight to my clit. When I?m riding his face, he can easily reach up and play with my nipples. This leaves my hands free to grab the headboard and control the angle, speed, and pressure.
Taking part in my pleasure
The thing I love most about this position is that it allows me to take charge of my orgasm. We go at my pace, for as long as I need, and there?s absolutely no reason to feel guilty about being the star of the show for a little while.
By the time I come, his tongue and lips and face are slick with my juices. My vaginal walls contract as I?m shuddering on top of him, trying not to fall over. I slide back onto his chest so as not to suffocate him, and keep the pleasure going by spreading my legs wider and grinding into him until the waves have calmed.
If you?ve never tried this with your partner, I highly recommend it. It takes a certain bravery to open yourself up and get in someone?s face so intimately, but if you find yourself feeling a bit vulnerable, remember that the incredible pleasure you?re about to experience will be a nice distraction from any personal reservations you may have.
Remember, a woman?s pleasure is just as important as a man?s. Enjoy the ride.
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