Some Real Life Supervillains

Some Real Life Supervillains

We all know supervillains are supposed to be fictional. Recently, however, we have been seeing many real people who appear to be supervillains.

Unfortunately, we do not know what is causing this pandemic of real-life supervillainy. However, there are several theories including an invasion, from an alternate reality; where superheroes and supervillains are real, celebrity culture, reality television, and the potential coming of the ultimate supervillain: the Antichrist.

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To protect your families we have identified a number of celebrities, politicians, and other pests that could be supervillains. This list is completely reliable because our expert smoked four joints before preparing it.

The Real Life Supervillains Menacing our World Include:

  1. Jerry Falwell Jr. Trying to corrupt and destroy Christianity was not enough for this monster. Now Falwell is trying to kill his own Liberty University students and many others by exposing them to Coronavirus. If this guy is not evil I do not know who is.
  2. The Coronavirus. This menace has killed more Americans than the September 11 attacks and destroyed the economy. Thus, Coronavirus could be the ultimate supervillian. COVID-19 even has other villains; such as Jerry Falwell Jr, working for it.
  3. Joaquin Phoenix. Our theory is that this character really is the Joker. Don?t believe us check out his speech at the Academy Awards. We think Phoenix will either start killing other celebrities or organize a cult any day now. Plus, we have to wonder if Phoenix and Jerry Falwell Jr are the same person because they have similar appearances. Another possibility is that Phoenix has killed Jerry Falwell Jr and taken his place.
  4. R Kelly. This sexual predator organized his own cult and enslaved and raped innocent women. Moreover, like Falwell Jr., Kelly is trying to infect innocent people with a deadly disease herpes.
  5. Bill Cosby. This evil genius posed as ?America?s Dad? for decades while drugging and raping vast numbers of women. Additionally, Cosby gave tens of thousands of Americans diabetes and Metabolic Syndrome by promoting the myth that Jello (sugar water) is real food. Cosby even fed Jello to innocent children on television. If that?s not evil we do not what is.
  6. Vincent K. McMahon Jr. This madman has been in control of professional wrestling for decades. In that capacity, McMahon has inflicted unlimited numbers of lousy matches, stupid gimmicks, imbecilic storylines, offensive stereotypes, and boring ring action on generations of innocent wrestling fans. Plus, McMahon has deliberately wrecked the careers, lives, and bodies of dozens of talented wrestlers for his own amusement. Worse, McMahon has been publicly admitting he is evil on nationwide television each week for decades.
  7. Donald Trump Jr. To our knowledge, this maniac has not done anything evil yet. However, we think it?s only a matter of time before the President?s son does something truly destructive. Hopefully, the Pentagon has a secret plan for controlling him.
  8. U.S. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky). This guy is obviously a Sith Lord who has been controlling the minds of other Senators for years. We think it is only a matter of time before McConnell kills President Trump and declares himself Emperor of the World.
  9. U.S. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-California). Only mutant powers, a pact with Satan, witchcraft, or Sith membership can explain this woman?s power and longevity. Nothing seems to dislodge Nancy even though most Americans, including many Democrats, hate her guts.
  10. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. Bezos looks like a super villain. His company Amazon kills millions of jobs and thousands of businesses. Worst of all, Bezos is the world?s richest man and he wants to replace people with robots. Finally, Bezos is planning to build his own space station to dominate the Earth.
  11. Elon Musk. Like Bezos this character looks and acts like a Bond villain. Musk wants to upload our brains into computers, and colonize Mars. Worst of all Musk is building a Cybertruck. We think Musk is in league with the Cybermen from Doctor Who. Finally, we have to wonder if Musk is the Master. Note: Musk seems to have a British accent, similar to the Master?s, but claims to be South African. He also dresses like the Master.

Hopefully, some real life super heroes or better yet the Doctor herself, will appear to fight these monsters. If they don?t humanity will soon be enslaved.


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