Last weekend was one of my more memorable experiences as a Hotwife. My two girlfriend witness?s and I do not agree on the reason it happened, but we do agree on the outcum.
My husband, who is out of commission recovering from shoulder surgery in South Carolina was like, ?Holy shit Alexis! Now I?m sorry we sold the boat!? when I explained what happened.
For those of you not familiar with my history, I got my start as a Hotwife because of a boating incident with my husband. You can read about it on my website if you care.
My side of the story about last weekend is that it was sort of a perfect storm situation where a series of mostly unrelated things, which I had no control over, sort of transpired at one point in time that caused the three us to end up seeking shelter from the storm.
In fairness, Jill?s side of the story is different from mine. She says I am a Cougar and I was looking for trouble because I am going to turn 45 at the end of the month and I?m feeling my mortality and I was vulnerable, and I am trying to hang onto my youth by flaunting my sexuality in an obvious direction. She says I needed to be ?validated?. I probably should have asked her what she meant.
She says there was no storm. There was only a deluge of rain. She says I was an accident looking for someplace to happen and there were several young men there helping it along, so to speak because they sensed my vulnerability. Something like that anyway. So I like gym rats. Is that a crime?
Brandi?s explanation wasn?t so flowery. She said she thought my mission was to get laid in spades from the get go! I?m pretty sure she is still sour grapes because I outed her as Starfollower37 because her husband is now on board with her plan, her son has graduated from high school, is out of the nest on a baseball scholarship in Georgia somewhere, and she has time on her hands for playing outside her own yard, because her husband is working in the UAE right now. Brandi is in full party mode!
It sucks having friends that are smarter than I am! Anyway, that?s what I meant about it being a perfect storm.
For those of you not familiar with the Tampa Bay area, the Gulf of Mexico is a boating Mecca on weekends. There are two islands of note here. One is Egmont Key and the other one is Passage Key. Egmont Key is the big one with the lighthouse.
The back side of Egmont Key is where larger yachts anchor off shore for partying and raft ups. That?s where the three of us were. Jill knows a lot of men with money and large yachts and who coincidently like to party and they typically ask her if she has any like minded friends, and so that?s how Brandi and I ended with Jill on this 50 something foot Viking yacht anchored off the back side of Egmont Key partying.
The other island is somewhat notorious as a sort of an ?anything goes? type of out island. It?s a Wildlife Refuge so most of the ?activity? occurs in shallow water or at the shoreline by people who got there in kayaks, jet skis, or runabouts. I think a better description of that should be ?Wild Life? because that what it really is!
Anyway, almost as soon as we anchored off shore behind Egmont, Greg?s friends began arriving on smaller boats and tying a line to his yacht and coming aboard to party.
I was not even close to being a sober person. I?m not offering this as an excuse for either my actions or my inactions that day. I am simply sharing that factoid with you only in passing. I started my day with a Bloody Mary, then Jill and I took a traveler with us when she drove us over to the marina. I had another Bloody Mary while we waited for a few more people including Brandi.
Once we got headed out to the island we all switched to Pina Coladas as a much more suitable boat drink. Anyway, that?s my story.
So one of the smaller runabouts that showed up were friends of Greg from the gym. They were two very young gym rats who knew they looked good. I spent about one second too long making eye contact with the driver of the boat. Brandi saw it.
?Oh Oh!? She said. ?You?re done!? She was right. He made a bee line for me the second they came on board. He focused on me like a laser beam. This was 10:30 in the morning and I already didn?t really give a shit about much of anything.
Within the first five minutes I already learned that his name was Doug, he was 25, that he wanted me, and didn?t care that I was old enough to be his mother. I didn?t care either at that point. His boat mate took an instant interest in Brandi who was also old enough to be his mother.
Now it is my position, on this point, that if Brandi had not been so insistent that we let these two young men separate us from the group, by showing her Passage Key, I wouldn?t have gone along with it. It?s Brandi?s position that I am lying through my teeth and that I was her enabler. We both agree however that she accepted the offer for both of us.
So armed with two more Pina Colada?s the four of us set off to show Brandi what Passage Key was all about since she had never been out to either of the islands before. It was a 10-minute boat ride, to go a mile and a half, maybe less.
I saw a few women wearing tops, but not many. I knew the unwritten rule that if I wanted to get out of the boat in shallow water I would have to surrender my top as a sort of Rite of Passage Key. It?s not exactly a nudist beach, but that?s what it really is in practice.
I liked Doug?s style because he was a gentleman about removing my top. He got out of the boat and then helped me out into waist deep water and put his hand on my back and asked, ?May I?? I said he could and my top came off.
?Oh!? Brandi said. She didn?t know.
?Your next baby doll.? Her guy said. She turned around and pulled her hair out of the way for him and her top joined mine on the bottom of the boat. We walked along the shoreline people watching and having other people watch us. That gets boring pretty quickly then we noticed Brandi and her guy were no longer behind us. I looked around and saw the top of her head on the far side of the boat we were in. His name was Dali or Daley. He is European and he and Brandi were pressed extremely close together. We both saw what they were doing. They were not quite out of sight.
Then Doug kissed me and I knew what he wanted to do. I had to have a very clinical unromantic conversation with him before things got out of hand, and before I didn?t care what happened.
?I can?t do it in the water. I?ll get a UTI.? I told him.? He took it very well, I thought.
?OK. Can I have a rain check?? He asked.
?Yes, you can!? I promised.
Evidently Brandi doesn?t get UTI?s because she was very mellow on the boat ride back to Egmont Key. Instead of getting back on board the yacht I jumped in the water because my body was on fire. I grabbed the tag line and just floated in the water for a few minutes.
Jill brought me back to the moment when she leaned over the transom and shouted to me.
?Get your drunk ass on the boat before you drown. There is a Pina Colada waiting for you in the shower.? She said. At least that?s what I thought I heard her say.
I thought that was very nice of her to fix me a Pina Colada and leave it for me in the bathroom for after my shower.
There was no drink waiting for me in the bathroom, but there was a very naked man in the shower waiting for me to collect his rain check. It was only then that I realized she hadn?t said there was a Pina Colada waiting for me in the shower. She had said, ?There is a Penis Colossus waiting for you in the shower.?
?Are you OK having sex in this water?? He asked me when I joined him.
?This water is fine!? I said.
A very few minutes later I am pretty sure most people on the boat knew exactly how OK it was for me having sex in shower water!
End of Part One