Whatever happens, good or ugly, you know they?ll always be there.
Photo by Touzu on Unsplash
It?s always a little weird and a little awesome when best friends get together. I remember watching The Flash and thinking, ?Iris and Barry cannot get together! It?d be too weird! They know each other too well already. How could a romantic relationship with your best friend even work??? Or When Harry Met Sally? How were they even able to kiss without feeling like they were kissing their brother or sister?
But I knew myself when a relationship was truly serious was when I realized that my partner had become my best friend. I knew he had when he was the first person I wanted to run to with my news ? both good and bad. When he was the one I wanted to laugh or cry with. And when he was the one I felt most myself with him.
A study out of the National Bureau of Economic Research shows that marriages have double the satisfaction if the spouses say their spouse is their best friend, and for many good reasons. The biggest one being that couples who say they married their best friend have a less than 30% rate of divorce.
?Those who are best friends with their partners have the largest well-being benefits from marriage and cohabitation, even when controlling for pre-marital well-being levels,? the researchers state. ?The well-being benefits of marriage are on average about twice as large for those (about half of the sample) whose spouse is also their best friend.?
The rewards of marrying your best friend are high!
Here are just a few more reasons:
1. Your BFF know you.
And I mean, really really know you.
They know you get cranky in the mornings or when you don?t get to the gym often enough and that mashed potatoes is your favorite comfort food. They know that you dream of being a VP at a Fortune 500 company and that you hate asparagus and taking selfies. They also know your most annoying quirks, like the fact that you like say the word ?like? like way too much or that you constantly forget to turn the lights off when you leave a room.
They know you and, the best part, they still like you. They even have a fondness for all of these things about you that might send other people running for the hills.
2. You can truly be yourself.
Similar to number one, you don?t ever have to pretend with your BFF. You are free to just BE. You can tell them your fears, dreams, worries, hopes, and desires. You can bring your true self and know that they already accept it.
Marilyn Monroe said it best, ?if you can?t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don?t deserve me at my best.? It can take a good long while before a new partner sees you at your worst, but your best friend has already seen you at your most selfish and most mean-spirited. They?ve seen you when you?ve been so mad you could spit or when you forgot (again) a special date, and they?ve kept loving you anyway.
Too, they?ve seen you at your best. They?ve seen you after you worked hard and got the promotion you wanted or when you met a weight loss goal. They?ve cheered you on along the way and are there to celebrate with you when the day is done.
3. You already completely trust one another.
We?ve all had those friends who will blab about you behind your back the moment you leave a room, but your BFF would never do that. They?re the ones who always have your back and always have your best interest at heart. They?re the ones who will run to your defense the moment someone says something badly about you, but also be able to tell you lovingly and kindly how you maybe should sort of think about apologizing to your boss for that thing you said.
4. You have things in common already.
You may not love the exact same things, but we all have things in common with our best friends. Maybe it?s that you love the camaraderie of fans at sporting events or dishing about what the crazies at work are doing. Maybe you?re both avid readers ? except you like mystery/thrillers and they like romances. Maybe you both love attending church or training for triathlons.
Whatever it may be, you have shared interests and passions that help you spend quality time together. Not only that, it builds a sense of ?we? that is integral to a happy marriage.
5. You have some things not in common.
Because you feel fully secure with each other, you also feel secure to be your own person. That means maybe you go on a fishing trip with the guys or she spends an afternoon gabbing it up at the hair salon. Maybe you watch football while she turns on The Bachelor in another room. You get to be free to do that because you don?t have to hide or pretend you?re anyone else. You know that the ?we? you have is built on both of you being whole and happy.
6. You?ll have a best friend for life.
Whatever happens, good or ugly, you know they?ll always be there. Life will be an adventure because, whether it be snorkeling with sharks, starting a business together, or embarking on the craziness of parenthood, you?ll get to do it with your best friend. The person who always lifts you up and wants you to be the best possible you. The person who makes life fun.
Best friends make life great in both big and little ways. They build you up when you need it. They hold you up when you can?t do it yourself, and they catch you when you fall short. What better person to spend the rest of your life with than the very person who knows you the most intimately and loves you anyway?
Originally published on The Date Mix.