Making money from other people?s kink
Photo by Drew Graham on Unsplash
Imagine you?re scrolling through Craigslist and looking for a lawnmower that you can buy secondhand because you need to salvage it for parts.
While you?re browsing the site, you wander off into the naughty areas and discover that some guy wants to buy women?s worn panties.
This happened to my wife, Mel, and I about ten years ago.
We had a lawnmower that we really liked using and one of the blades broke. The company had stopped making the replacement parts five years earlier and the authorized repair places we tracked down across three or four states didn?t have any in stock.
One repair shop said to us, ?If you find an old one for sale online and bring it in, we can cannibalize it.?
We went onto Craigslist to see if anyone was selling anything locally and we didn?t find much, but as you do, we wandered over to the personals section for a bit of a look.
Note ? Craigslist has gotten out of the adult personals section since then because of sex trafficking laws.
Right near the top was a listing, ?Looking for worn women?s panties to buy.?
I laughed and my wife, Mel, clicked on it.
The guy wanted women to wear their panties for the day, tell him in a letter what she did while wearing them, put them in a sealed plastic baggy, and mail them to him in a discreet brown envelope.
I shook my head, ?Can you believe some people??
Mel said, ?Let?s reply and see what he?ll pay.?
From Humble Beginnings
I couldn?t believe what I was hearing, ?What are you talking about??
Mel had already hit reply and was typing a message.
?Mid-30s, married mom? What would you pay??
She included her anonymous email address in the response and sent it.
?Who are you? What are you doing??
She wandered off towards the kitchen, ?I?m curious to see what he comes back with in terms of an offer.?
I just assumed that the guy would be inundated with women offering him their worn panties for a few bucks because it seemed like an easy way to make money for people who were strapped for cash or young female students.
As we were sitting downstairs after dinner watching TV, Mel smiled, turned her phone towards me to show me a notification, ?Panty dude, responded.?
He was willing to pay $30 if she wore them for one day and $50 for two days. ?Panty Dude? re-iterated his requirements on how to send them and he said he preferred older pairs that had been worn many times before.
I shook my head and went back to watching TV.
A few days later, I get a text from Mel:
?Panty Dude paid the $50 and wants to order another pair.?
?I can?t believe you?re doing this. LOL.?
Heading Down The Panty Sniffers Rabbit Hole
Mel sent ?Panty Dude? another pair the next week and then she got an email from some random guy saying that ?a buddy told me you sell panties?.
And then another? and another.
Apparently ?Panty Dude? had posted her email address on some forum that these people congregated on and said that she was a ?good operator?.
In their parlance, as we later found out, ?good operator? means that she was quick to respond and delivered the merchandise as directed.
I came home from work one evening and Mel had gone to Costco and bought several dozen pairs of cotton panties.
?I can?t send these people my good lingerie for $35.?
No, of course, she couldn?t.
I found the whole thing amusing.
That?s when the ?special requests? started and things kind of took a turn towards the weird.
The first special request asked Mel if she could piss herself in the panties, let them dry in the sun, and then send them to him ? he offered to pay an extra $50 for the piss panties.
The special requests started getting weird ? scat, period stains, semen? These guys wanted it all.
The ?normal? special requests were the ones asking her to masturbate in her panties and send them the ?scented? leftovers.
Mel went back to Costco, bought herself a vacuum sealer and heavy-duty envelopes so that she could produce higher quality items.
A few weeks later, I?m sitting at my desk and Mel sends me a link to a website she?s built with a store function where people can just go buy from her existing supply.
She was building a worn panties empire.
All Good Things Must End
The men on the forum that the original ?Panty Dude? had posted to were now filling in forms for special requests, buying existing supply ?from stock?, and leaving five-star reviews on the site.
My wife is entrepreneurial, so the fact that she was able to spin this into a properly functioning business didn?t surprise me.
This had been going on for about three months when we had a quarterly meeting with our accountant and he said to Mel, ?Hey, where did this extra $3500 in your PayPal account come from??
Mel looked him straight in the eye and said, ?I?ve been selling my worn panties on the internet.?
Our accountant, Dan, was a 50something, church-going, God-fearing Christian laughed and said, ?Yeah, that?s good. Seriously, how did you make this money??
I sat there smiling as Mel confirmed for him that she was, in fact, selling her used panties on the internet and then told him that she had receipts for all of the expenses related to shipping, handling, inventory, and equipment.
My favorite part of the whole episode was when Dan realized that she was serious, he looked at her and said, ?Do you want me to depreciate the equipment or is it low enough in value to write it off in year one??
Dan also suggested that we set up a shell company to run the ?panty money? through so that we could more effectively manage the income for tax because, ?We?re going to have to treat this as personal income for now, Mel. You should have told me about this before you started.?
Now the IRS was going to know about the panty money. Excellent.
On the way home, Mel said to me, ?Can we hit McDonald?s Drive-Thru??
My wife is a bit of fitness freak who eats well, McDonald?s is her ?thinking? food, so obviously something was on her mind.
As we made our way home and she laid waste to a Big Mac, she said to me with only a small bit of Secret Sauce on the corner of her mouth, ?I think I?m done with the panty stuff. It?s not fun anymore.?
I deadpanned back to her as we pulled up to a red light, ?Oh? But you have all the supplies and the vacuum sealer. It seems like such a waste.?
?I have all of this expensive, sexy underwear and I spend every day wearing cotton briefs so that some guy in Kansas can smell them. It dawned on me as we were sitting in Dan?s office that I was going to go home and write a note telling some stranger about visiting the accountant in these panties so that he could read about it while smelling them in a few days.?
I laughed so much that I nearly hyperventilated. The absurdity of the whole situation had finally crystalized for her.
A few days later when she?d filled her last orders, she took down her website and that was the end of it.
About a month later she got an email from PayPal saying that someone was refuting a payment and she needed to go through the dispute resolution mechanism and provide evidence.
She saw the order number, found the corresponding order email, and attached the documents to the dispute within PayPal.
It was ?Piss Panties Guy? disputing the charge? Actually it was his wife, but Mel didn?t know it at the time.
Mel got an email from the wife calling her all sorts of dirty names.
Mel replied, ?Your husband spent $100 on more than one occasion for me to piss in my panties and send them to him so that he could sniff them. I?ll refund happily your money.?
She showed me her reply with great joy.
I said to her, ?Hey, maybe you should archive that email address and get another anonymous account.?
She agreed and showed me that she was still getting several requests a week from guys wanting worn panties from her because she was a ?good operator.?
I will still occasionally see her panties laying around the laundry hamper and if she?s watching, I?ll pick them up and give them a smell.
She?ll ask me for $50 in return.
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