The first time I had sex with a man other than my husband was not what I had expected it to be
Photo by VitalikRadko from Depositphotos
It had been just a few weeks since my husband had told me that if I needed to see other men to fulfill my sexual needs then he was fine with it.
Since then, my mind had run amok with the idea of seducing and taking a strange man to bed and having sex with him for nothing more than my own sexual pleasure. This was something that I?d never done in my entire life, all of my previous sexual relationships had been substandard and my needs were always left secondary to my partner?s.
Just thinking about the fun that I could potentially get up to was giving me plenty of mental stimulation and I found myself breaking away during the day to find a private place to masturbate. I?m not ashamed to say that this was happening two or three times a day.
One day shortly after the conversation, I was in a spin class and this young, 20something male instructor at the front of the class was glistening with sweat as he barked out encouragement and orders at us. I found myself riding and thinking about what it would be like to take him into a meditation room, lower his shorts and just ride him instead of this stupid cycle.
I spent so much time fantasizing about him that I found myself grinding into the seat of the spin bike while I rode. I could hear him yelling at us to get up out of the saddle but I was lost in the pleasure of using the seat to make myself orgasm, right in the middle of the class.
As my orgasm hit, I let out a help, dropped my head over the handlebars and rode faster. The pumping action of my legs on the pedals rhythmically grinding my clitoris onto the saddle seat was spectacular.
I was panting and moaning, covered in a full-body sweat. As the orgasm subsided, my head was spinning and I took a long drink from my water bottle trying to collect myself.
The class ended and as I was wiping down the seat of not just sweat, but any moisture that I?d released, the gorgeous young instructor walked past, put his hand on the small of my back and said, ?You really left everything out there, that was great.?
I don?t think he knew that I?d made myself cum with the bike seat, but I didn?t care. I made my way into the shower, closed the shower stall door, and as the warm water cascaded over me, I masturbated feverishly thinking about him. I made myself cum twice in the shower before getting changed and heading back to the office.
The Reality of Fantasies
As I made my way back to the office, there was a spring in my step, even if my legs were incredibly tired from all of the frantic pedaling I?d just done at the gym. Inside I was smiling as I thought about how fit I?d be if I went to that spin class several times a week.
The thing is, those sexy young gym instructors with their slender bodies and tight muscles were not really the kind of thing that I found physically attractive. Don?t get me wrong, I appreciate the beauty of that well-toned and looked after male form as much as the next warm-blooded woman, but when I closed my eyes and pleasured myself, that?s not what I thought about.
Oddly enough, my husband?s body shape was more aligned to what I found sexy in a man.
Jamie, my husband, was 6’2″ and 225lbs before his injury. Since then he?s lost a bit of weight, but I?ve always been physically attracted to larger-sized men.
That?s probably a bit strange considering that I?m just 5’6″ and 140lbs. I used to weigh a bit more, but since my husband?s injury, I?ve spent a lot of time at the gym just to relieve some stress and my overall fitness levels have improved dramatically.
So, yeah. I?m a smaller sized woman who loves really large men and when I?m pleasuring myself, that?s the type of guy I dream about.
Affirmation That I Needed More
I?d spent probably two months after my husband told me to find other men to satisfy me, just sitting on the fence and pretending like this was something I was totally into, but the truth was, I was scared.
One evening, I was downstairs on our sofa, Netflix streaming some stupid show that I wasn?t watching, and I had my hand down my pants while laying under a blanket. The kids were fast asleep and Jamie had gone to bed, but still, the blanket provided me with a bit of modesty.
Considering that he was still walking with a cane, he?d managed to sneak up behind me and catch me in the act of pleasuring myself. I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I had tuned out everything because normally, with his limited mobility, it was rare for him to go to bed and then get up and come downstairs.
He looked at me and then stared straight ahead, ?I?m sorry. I didn?t know that you were busy, I just needed a drink.?
Jamie shuffled off the kitchen.
I whipped my hand out, looked around for somewhere to wipe it, chose the blanket, and then chased after him.
?Jamie, I?m sorry, I thought I was alone and that you?d gone to sleep.?
I didn?t know why I was apologizing to him. I was a grown woman in the midst of an imposed sexual drought and I had every right to pleasure myself in the privacy of my own home, but the look on his face told me that he was still taking it personally that he was not able to satisfy his wife the way he felt he probably wanted to.
He came over, leaned down and kissed my forehead, ?You don?t have to apologize, Poppet. Remember what I said before, you need to have your needs met and I understand that.?
I stood there in the kitchen, staring at my feet as he slowly made his way back up the stairs. I felt embarrassed and ashamed by my lack of discretion.
Heading towards the fridge, I grabbed a glass and poured myself an enormous amount of white wine and fell into one of our dining chairs staring at the small beads of stray wine that missed the glass as I poured.
I?d made my mind up two months earlier when Jamie first suggested this arrangement that I would do it, but for some reason, I couldn?t bring myself to take it further. I wanted to be with a man again, but I just lacked the confidence to make that happen.
Going online or using something like Tinder seemed so seedy and desperate, and while that described my situation, I didn?t want to feel that way.
I finished off the remainder of the bottle of wine and somehow managed to make my way to bed, although I had no memory of any part of that.
Getting My Mother?s Approval
Three weeks later, I was in Melbourne for a conference. It was the first time that I?d been away from the girls and Jamie overnight since the accident. I?d considered flying into Melbourne in the morning, flying back to Sydney that evening, and then coming back to Melbourne the next morning for the final day.
My mother laughed at me when I suggested it to her.
?Betty, you?re crazy. Jamie can look after the girls and himself for one night. This seems more about you being afraid to be away.?
My mother was an amazing lawyer because she had incredible insight into how people felt aside from what they were saying. I learned at an early age not to try and hide things from her because she always knew the truth, so we ended up developing this kind of close relationship where she was my confidant from the age of 15.
She was the only person who knew about ?the offer? that Jamie had made and she was so clinical in her understanding of the situation. From the moment I told her, her view was that I needed to do what felt right, but make sure that it was purely unemotional and just a physical outlet.
?I suppose, Mom, I think an opportunity might present itself that I?m not going to be able to say ?no? to and that I?ll end up regretting it.?
?Betty, you?re living part of your life filled with regret now. You?ll do whatever you do and then you?ll deal with the fallout later. If you do nothing, you?ll eventually just become resentful of everything and you?ll have even more regrets. Just do whatever feels right, then come home and be a good mother and wife.?
She was right. She?s always right.
Taking The Plunge
Luke was a solicitor that I?d dealt with on behalf of a client several years back.
He was in corporate advisory services specializing in administration and liquidation. Casually among other lawyers and accountants, we refer to these people as ?Corporate Undertakers? because they take over companies that are on the verge of collapse and bury them as best they can.
During the morning break of the first day, I saw Luke across the room and made my way over to say hello. He was incredibly hard to miss because he was a mountain of a man standing at about 6’5″ and he easily weighed over 300lbs.
When he saw me, he waved and smiled, ?Beth! It?s been years. I heard you took some time off to have kids, are you back full-time now??
We made small talk before heading back into the next session but we agreed that we?d catch up for drinks during the dinner session.
Luke found me as I was about to enter the dining hall and joined me at the table for dinner. He was such a gregarious and friendly guy that it made it incredibly easy to talk to him and forget about everything else which was something I needed.
After dinner, the attendees who?d stayed had moved into another conference room where a live jazz band was playing and alcohol flowed freely. I took them up on their offer of free drinks and by 9 pm, I was well on my way to a nice hangover the following morning.
Luke could see that I was drinking far more than my small frame could handle, so he would bring me an occasional glass of water to try and keep me somewhat hydrated.
After emptying another vodka soda down my throat and having lost count of how many that had been, the following words came out of my mouth, ?Do you want to go upstairs to my room with me, Luke??
It was something of an out of body experience, to say the least. I found myself staring back at the slightly drunk Elizabeth (I always think of myself using my formal name, although nobody except my father every calls me that), noticing my eyes were glossy and that I?d managed to unbutton my blouse one button more than was normal to expose my almost non-existent cleavage.
Then there was Luke staring back at Elizabeth, replaying what I had just said to him and processing everything that was going on. He had a look of shock, excitement, and the face of a man who looked like the dog who?d caught the car. He didn?t seem to know what the right answer was.
?I know you?re married, Luke. Me too. You can say no and I?ll head off back to my room, slightly embarrassed, but I won?t be offended or insulted. I?d just like a ?yes? or ?no? answer please.?
Luke said yes, and we made our way up to my room.
That Was Easier Than I?d Thought It Would Be
Once inside my room, we kissed for a bit, but our height difference made that challenging. Luke was also not a great kisser, he was very sloppy, and that?s the worst kind of kiss, so I was happy to move things along.
I stepped away from him and stripped off my clothes. He took that as his cue to do the same and within a minute or so, we found ourselves standing awkwardly looking at each other, entirely naked.
Luke had a fine covering of black and grey chest hair. He was quite a bit older than me, in his late 40s or early 50s, I would have guessed.
He also had a noticeable belly which I found so attractive. My eyes veered down to his penis which I could make out, but the flesh of his pubic area and the heavier pubic hair around his crotch made it hard to figure out just how well endowed he was. At first glance, I thought he might be on the smaller side of average.
I had to find out, so I moved towards him, leaned down and kissed his beautiful, milky white belly while reaching down with my hand to feel his cock.
Luke sighed as I kissed his stomach and felt his erect cock. It was deceptively bigger than first glance. His cock was much thicker than my limited experience with cocks had encountered before.
I didn?t know what to do next, I stood there kissing his stomach and rubbing his cock, but thankfully he told me to lie back on the bed.
Luke performed some exceptional oral sex on me. I orgasmed almost right away from the excitement and anticipation of what was happening. He firmly held me in place and the entire time his giant bear-like paws would grope my small B cup breasts or thrust his enormous fingers inside me.
I lost track of time, but the next thing I knew, he had slid up between my legs and I could feel the tip of his cock pressing against my clit and valve, so I reached down and guided Luke inside of me.
I vividly recall my eyes rolling back in my head as he moved the entirety of himself inside me. I?d come to realize later with more experience, that he was average-sized (maybe a bit thicker), but it was bigger than anything I?d had inside me to that point in my life.
My memories consist mainly of the sensual feeling of Luke?s weight on top of my small frame, slightly crushing me as he thrust away. He wasn?t exactly jackhammering me, but he was going hard. He built up a sweat and I could feel it on his whole body as he slid against me. I remember leaning my head up and tasting his skin on his chest to get the flavor of his saltiness on my tongue.
I felt the flesh of his pubic area grinding hard against my clit and the fullness of his cock and enjoyed the sensation of orgasming with a man inside me again. For the first time in my life, I told a man that I was cumming during sex.
Luke didn?t last beyond that. He had been inside me for no more than five minutes, but my words seemed to send him over the edge and I felt his full weight press down on me, forcing out a small sigh. His entire body tightened, he groaned, I could feel his cock twitching, and then the warmth of his semen filling me.
Afterward, we laid there quietly for maybe ten minutes. I knew that Luke wasn?t up for a repeat performance and I didn?t care. I would masturbate when he left and put myself to sleep.
As Luke got up to leave, there was some small talk, but I don?t remember what either of us said. I just laid there on the bed, smiling, staring at the ceiling.
I had taken the plunge and it felt amazing.
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