When I tell people I?m a human toilet, they often say, ?oh, that?s so convenient because you never have to worry about finding a bathroom in the cit in a pinch.?
Well, yes, that?s a perk. But when I hear people say this, I can?t help but feel frustrated. Being a human toilet is so much more than just getting pooped and peed on. It?s an identity; it?s a practice. It?s not just what I am; it?s who I am. It?s where I?m going and where I?ve been (covered in poop and pee).
And yes, there?s amazing advantages and benefits to being a human toilet. But if you think for a second that it?s all just one easy peesy rollercoaster of getting pooped and peed on, you?re dead wrong. There are hard days. There are long days. There are days where I want to throw in the plunger and give up.
But I don?t give up. Because that?s not what a toilet does. A toilet doesn?t just quit being a toilet and become a coffee mug or a car seat. You can even put a toilet in an art museum and call it art ? and yes, it is art ? but that doesn?t change the fact that it?s still a toilet. Wife, daughter, dreamer, friend, crossfit enthusiast, coffee lover, star-gazer? I can be all those things and also be a human toilet. And to honor all those other parts of myself, I will be the best human toilet I can be.
So next time you see a human toilet, don?t assume you know the whole story. You can only truly know what?s going on with a human toilet once you?ve dropped a steaming deuce in her tank.
