You can learn a lot from other people?s stories. You just need to listen.
- Speak Only When You Have Something Important To Say
- Stop Trying To Impress Others
- Think Before You Say Something
- How To Listen To Others and Why?
The way we communicate with other people says a lot about us, even when we don?t say a word.
Our expressions, the tone of our voice, and how much or how little we say, these are all indicators of the type of person you are.
People can be divided based on many criteria. Introverts and extroverts, loud and shy, talkers and listeners. I am going to focus on the last one today.
So are you a talker or are you a listener?
Which one do you think is better and is it possible to be both things at once?
Let?s get one thing of the way. It?s okay to talk to people about anything that interests you, about yourself, your goals, achievements, dreams, etc. It?s okay to do small talk and to share as much as you want. As long as you do it with someone who wants to listen, then it?s perfectly fine.
However, there is a line that you should not cross. And when you talk to someone and expect them to listen to you, then you need to give the same in return.
You need to learn how to listen to people.
By this, I mean really listening to someone, without losing your focus and attention, which is something that has become such a difficult task for us these days.
I am not saying that the internet and social media are bad for us, but ever since we became obsessed with them, in a way we started losing touch with real conversations and real people.
Now, when you have to listen to someone talk for more than 5 or 10 minutes, you immediately lose focus.
There are so many reasons why this is wrong.
It can be rude not to listen to someone, it?s selfish when you are not doing the things you expect other people to do for you, and you miss out on so many amazing stories and experiences that you can learn from other people.
So let?s say that both listening and talking are very important and that you can?t have one without the other.
Now, how can you stop yourself from talking too much, and leave space for others to speak their voices around you?
Words are more powerful than you think, and no matter how simple this sounds, you need to know what to say and when to say it.
When you say and do something that you didn?t intend to, it can be very difficult to fix it. So, the best solution is to not do this in the first place.
Speak Only When You Have Something Important To Say
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Small talk is okay, and we all do it. After all, you can?t have a meaningful conversation with everyone all the time.
However, if you don?t want to be that person who just can?t stop talking about himself or herself, it?s better to speak only when you have something important to say.
Instead of keeping a conversation so that you can avoid the awkward silence, try asking questions. That way, you will get to know the person you are speaking to much better, and you will avoid leaving a bad impression just because there was ?awkward silence? between you two.
If you don?t have anything to say, don?t make the wrong move of talking just because you can. Sometimes it?s even better to stay silent.
People will appreciate this more.
Stop Trying To Impress Others
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If you are talking with the purpose of impressing others, this needs to stop right now.
Your worth is not measured by the words you say but through your deeds.
Instead, you need to focus on yourself and doing the best you can to become a better version of yourself ? for yourself.
You do not have to do this for others, thus it shouldn?t matter to you what they think of you and how they perceive you.
In life, impressing others should be your least concern. There will be people who like you and those who don?t, no matter what you say.
So stop bragging about your achievements, your status, or just how great you are. Sometimes being quiet says much more than you think.
After all, a person who is truly successful, won?t feel the need to talk about himself or herself. They will know exactly what to do to catch the attention, without saying a word.
And if you really want to ?impress? someone, then instead of talking, start doing something. The right deeds speak more about you thank you could ever say.
Think Twice Before You Say Something
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Another thing why you should keep an eye on how much you talk is because, sometimes, you might say a thing that you don?t mean or something unintentionally wrong, and you will regret it for a long time.
It might be in the heat of the moment or because you didn?t know what exactly to say. But we all know how bad it can be when you say something you don?t mean, just because you didn?t really think about how it would affect the other person.
Some words hurt more than you can imagine. They paint a different picture of you and might leave the wrong impression, even if your intentions were good.
To avoid these kinds of situations, you need to evaluate the situation properly, think twice before you say something aloud, and then say it.
How To Listen To Others and Why?
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How?
I know that it?s sometimes difficult to follow a longer conversation. As humans, we can?t focus on more extended periods of time, and eventually, we lose interest.
But if you want to be considerate and listen to the person in front of you, you can do a few things that might help you install this habit in your life.
One of the bad habits that you have to get rid of, is looking at your phone while someone is talking to you. It doesn?t necessarily have to be your phone, but you get my point.
Instead, make occasional eye contact (but don?t overdo it, as it can easily get awkward), and show signs that you are interested in what the person is saying.
However, you genuinely need to be interested in the conversation. If you are not, then politely excuse yourself. But don?t expect that person to then listen to you speaking.
One way to stay interested is to think about what the person is trying to say.
Don?t think about what you are going to answer once the person stops talking before he or she actually stops. Instead, actively think about the information you are receiving without being judgemental, and remember to keep an open mind.
Why?
Apart from the obvious answer that it?s insensitive and rude not to listen to other people, another major reason why you should always be open to listening to others is that you can learn a lot from them.
Everyone has a story to tell, and when you speak less you will have more time to understand other people and learn more about life.
We all experience different things, and it?s impossible to learn everything from your own experiences. Sometimes you need to pay attention and learn from others. That way, you will become much better and wiser.
Don’t forget that to gain respect you need to give respect.
Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you want someone to listen to what you have to say, you need to do the same for them.
I know that in this day and age the reality is different, but being able to listen to someone carefully is one trait that I wish everyone had.
However, the change starts withing you, so I try to do this myself. If you feel the same way, start from yourself and other people will eventually follow.
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