And fortunately for me, so does my husband
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For some people, the term threesome conjures up an image of one man and two women and as much as I like those too, MFM (Male Female Male) threesomes are perhaps my very favorite sexual thing in the whole wide world! James and I got into the world of polyamory 5 years ago when I confessed to him that I really wanted to be with him and another man at the same time. Fortunately, he wasn?t just accepting of this ? he was enthusiastic about it as long as we could do a threesome with a woman sometime soon as well. Deal! (According to him, I gave him the best blow-job of his life right after he told me ?We should do that!?).
There has been a fair amount of recent research that indicates that women get bored with monogamy even before men do, and although you don?t have to open up your marriage to deal with that, it is one possible way to go. Not that I was truly bored with monogamy. James has always been a creative and attentive lover and I?ve never felt anything but appreciated and desired by him, even after 30 years together. I?ve tried to make him feel the same.
In fact, when this topic came up, we were very deep into a hot and heavy phase where we basically were unable to keep our hands off of each other. So, it wasn?t so much that I was bored as it was that I was ready to explore, and fortunately for me, James was ready for that too. As James told the story later on, ?I could have either have gotten huffy and defensive when my wife said that she wanted to fuck another man and me, or I could go with the flow and make the most of it. That is the option that I chose, and I?m very glad that I did.?
Even back in the days when he wasn?t having any sexual intimacy with the other guy it was still an exciting thing for him. He enjoys seeing me with someone else, but even more than that, he enjoys the idea of the stereotype being flipped? rather than one woman being somehow taken advantage of by two men, it?s one sexually empowered woman getting to fully express herself with the help of two guys! A really turned on and uninhibited woman is going to be a lot of fun to be with.
Maybe my feelings about MFM are so good because the first time that we really had one, the man we got together with turned out to be someone that I had a deep attachment to. His name is Nathaniel ? Nat for short. Our times together were always off the chain sexy and intense because our chemistry was so amazing, and not just our sexual chemistry. He and James like each other and never had any jealousy or discomfort around each other. The only awkwardness that would occur was when I?d go to the bathroom and the two naked guys who were sitting on a bed suddenly both got really interested in the ceiling.
We now live on the other side of the country from Nat and so we haven?t seen him in some time, but we have had some other MFMs since then and they?ve all been somewhere between enjoyable and stellar. I feel really fortunate that I?ve never had a truly bad threesome experience and that all of our MFMs have been pretty great! I think it takes men who are fairly self-confident, but who are also willing to be a part of a shared experience. Not every guy is really up for that and we?ve had several instances of potential partners backing out at the last minute, but perhaps it was for the best. If you can?t show up strong, it?s better to not show up at all.
What I most enjoy about MFM is the opportunity to both be the focus of the action, but also the one who is kind of taking the lead. It?s not that the men don?t have a say or aren?t getting attended to, because they absolutely are and do, but it?s just a very different dynamic. Even in pretty egalitarian relationships like the one I have with James, it?s easy to default to typical male/female roles. In a sexual situation with one woman and two men, that gets thrown out the window, and that?s one of the main things that I like about it!
There is just something about being with two men that dismantles all old programming about sex, even more than it dismantles old programming by being with another woman. It?s difficult to truly explain, but being with two men, having them focus their attentions on me for the bulk of the time together, even as I interact with both of them at the same time ? there is just nothing that can compare in my book.
James kind of half-jokingly refers to it as goddess worship, but I do feel a bit that way when I?ve got two studs touching and kissing me at the same time. Our current playmate Lane and James are sexually intimate as well, and although that does change things up just a little bit from when I?ve been with two guys who were only focused on me, I still feel like the queen when I am with them.
James loves seeing me happy and turned on. He likes seeing me enjoying someone else, and he really likes how being with a third person really puts us both in the present. Although James really loves being in a threesome with another woman, right from the beginning he thought that MFM was pretty awesome too. And since we?ve started playing with Lane, that has only gotten more so. Being the meat in a man-sandwich is my idea of a very good time in the bedroom. I?m just glad that I?m with a man who thinks that it is too!
