Yeah, it?s what it sounds like
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?My fingers are on my clit. But I wish they were your tongue.?
It?s the kind of thing that would?ve made me blush if I had to say it out loud. I?m a lot braver when I?m sending it over text.
I kept touching myself slowly, waiting for his reply.
It came in quickly ? I didn?t even have to watch the three dots bouncing and teasing me.
?Good. Fucking. Girl.?
My breath was caught in my throat. I felt an immediate rush of intense feelings.
Cyberfucking this guy already had me incredibly aroused, but nothing compared to what those three words did.
I was hit with so many emotions at once, I could barely tease them apart.
It made me feel so proud to have earned that response from him ? and a little confused by how sexual that pride felt.
I was embarrassed that it took so little ? just those three words ? to put me in a very submissive place.
But mostly, I just felt horny. Obscenely horny. Hornier than I had been in a long time.
So horny that I was already panting and on the verge of an orgasm.
Words have never had such a powerful effect on me before.
I was also incredibly surprised. Not just at my reaction, but to what I was reacting to.
I never really liked the phrase ?good girl.? It struck me as the kind of cheesy thing you might hear in porn but that you probably wouldn?t want to hear in real life.
I was sure I wouldn?t like hearing it. And I believed that right up until the moment I got that text.
In that exact moment, I fell in love with those two words. It was my first strong indication that I have a praise kink.
Praise Can Be Sexual
A praise kink is basically what it sounds like: I get turned on by being praised.
I always knew I loved being praised, of course. Who doesn?t? It can make me blush, make me feel like I?m put on the spot, make me a little uncomfortable. But overall, it?s very nice.
What makes it a praise kink is what it does to me. My reaction to it can be a little extreme. Words of praise alone can be really hot and make me extremely horny.
Of course, context matters. Calling me a good girl is not an automatic ?Open Sesame? that will make me instantly horny no matter what (only a kiss on the neck does that). And I don?t have the same response to it every time.
How powerful it is depends on how horny I already am and what we?re doing. Who it?s from matters, too. As hot as it is to hear it from my husband, I have a bigger reaction to praise when it comes from someone new I?m involved with.
Being called a good girl is, for me, the quintessential sexual act of praise. But there?s more to it than that. Any kind of verbal praise during sex hits those buttons for me.
?You look so fucking hot on your knees.?
?You?re so good at sucking my cock.?
?I want to hear you moan ? you know I love the way you moan.?
?You?re such a dirty girl.?
All of those work quite well.
I also get off on it happening throughout. Being told I was a really good lay at the end is nice (and part of my aftercare) but it?s not enough for me.
It shouldn?t be non-stop. Too much dirty talk of any kind gets to be a little much. But I?m a praise whore, so I like hearing it at least every few minutes.
Mr. Austin has struck the perfect balance for me. He?ll tell me how much he loves my ass when he bends me over. He?ll praise my skills every time I give him head. And he?ll tell me how good I?m being when I submit to his commands.
Pet names fall under this category, too. That?s something else I didn?t think I would be into. When we got together, my husband didn?t have any pet names for me. I figured introducing some would just feel silly, so I made it clear that I wasn?t into them.
But the first guy to call me a good girl also liked to call me ?baby? and that really pleased me. It made me feel special. It made me feel appreciated. There was just something really hot about it.
The praise I get off on isn?t just verbal, though. Sometimes, it?s the grunts, groans, and moans he makes. Knowing I?m responsible for those is praise in itself.
It can be physical, too. I consider acts of body worship to be part of a praise kink.
When my husband treats my ass like he could spend the rest of his life grabbing, licking, and spanking it, it feels like praise. When he squeezes my sides while going down on me, that feels like him expressing his desire and appreciation for me through his hands.
In fact, the physical component is a big part of it for me. Praise only feels good when it?s sincere. It?s not something you can roleplay. And the words can sound a little empty unless they?re backed up with the right kind of touch and physical response.
It?s a Subby Thing
For me, what makes praise a kink is the way it lights up my submissive side.
It?s about making myself vulnerable and subjecting myself to my partner?s judgment. My feelings are in his hands and I have to trust him to treat them well.
I love that dynamic, and the praise is what makes me feel like I?m taken care of, not just being used.
It also helps me fall into my role. When I?m having sex, it?s my job to be pleasing to my more dominant partner and I love getting recognition for a job well done.
That recognition is part of what I?m after. I work for it. I?m not just working to give him pleasure, to enjoy the pleasure he gives me, and to get a good fuck. I?m also aiming for the praise I get from it. I?m looking for that feeling of pride that comes from being called a good girl and knowing I?ve earned it.
It?s also one of the reasons I enjoy sensual domination so much. It involves control play, bondage, spanking, and choking, but none of those are given to me as punishments. They?re all about rewarding me with pleasure for submitting.
One of the reasons I thought I would hate being called a good girl is because it seemed so condescending. There?s just something patronizing about it when it comes from the wrong person or is said at the wrong time.
But that?s sort of what I love about it now. It puts me in the smaller position. It makes me feel like I?m letting go and letting someone else take care of me. It makes me feel like I?m giving up some of my agency. And that feels really good when I know I?m safe and respected.
Eager to Please
Learning about praise kink was a lightbulb moment for me. It just made perfect sense.
It didn?t just explain the way I fuck and love to be fucked. It also put it into perspective.
I?ve got daddy issues because I was raised by a man who I could never please, who would never reassure me, and never gave me any encouragement. So in some ways, I?m always looking for the nurturing figure I never had.
Earning praise and recognition from a man I want to impress feels amazing to me. It satisfies an emotional craving I?ve had my entire life.
I might have had an emotionally cold father, but at least it?s not too late for me to earn the love of a daddy.
Those daddy issues left me with some self-esteem issues, too. I always default to assuming I?m not wanted, that people don?t want me around, and that I am just wasting someone?s time. So, my fucked up brain overanalyzes people?s behavior to look for proof that I?m right.
When I?m being praised, I know I?m wanted. It shuts that part of my brain down. I stop worrying that I?m not good enough, not hot enough, not sexy enough because I keep getting big, huge, flashing signs that I?m appreciated.
I?m also a chronic people pleaser. I have a really hard time not putting everyone ahead of me. It?s caused a lot of problems and it?s something I?m learning to overcome.
Standing up for myself is necessary but it?s never comfortable. Putting myself first always feels wrong. But when I?m having sex, I can let go and lean into my people pleasing instincts. I can embrace it because I know it will only have positive outcomes. That?s part of what the praise represents for me.
And on top of all that, my love language is words of affirmation. And this is basically the kinky version of that.
So, yeah, there are a lot of complex feelings, emotional baggage, and personal quirks that play into my praise kink. But the way it manifests now is really simple. Deep down, I just want to be a good fucking girl.
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