Read this before you join NoFap.
A friend from my 20s used to spend part of her lunch break ?running errands.? What was she really doing? She was sneaking back to her apartment to pet her kitty (if you know what I mean).
My friend considered masturbation a serious productivity tool. ?After an orgasm,? she said, ?I?m ready to conquer the world.?
Since then, I?ve stopped feeling so guilty about it.
So can you.
NoFap doesn?t work for everybody
The NoFap movement, started by a web developed in Pittsburgh, has picked up a ton of momentum over the last few years. Members say keeping their hands off their special parts makes them more productive ? even gives them ?superpowers? like enhanced energy and better focus.
Hey, whatever works for you.
But science tends to back fapping, as long as you can do it responsibly. Masturbating once or twice a day brings about all the same benefits that the NoFap movement claims for its members.
The real problem with masturbation
It?s not that you masturbate. It?s that you might be doing it too much ? and doing it the wrong way.
If you?re fapping five times a day while watching toxic porn for hours on end, then of course that?s going to run you down.
Taking a week or two off from masturbating entirely can help someone who?s fallen off the deep end. But you should use that time to learn more about responsible sex, including masturbation.
We have too much porn now
One of the weirdest stories of porn addiction I ever read comes out of Chang-Rae Lee?s second novel, A Gesture Life. The main character describes working as a medical doctor for the Japanese army during WWII. One of the soldiers starts snipping pictures of women out of magazines and catalogues. He makes his own bizarre scrapbooks to fap to, and eventually winds up secluded in his tent, mired in depression.
In other words, you used to have to go pretty far out of your way to develop an addiction to porn. Seriously, scrapbooking?
These days, we have more access to sex than any point in human history. You can find pretty much anything you want.
I?m a curious kitty, so I know?
There?s all kinds of porn out there. You can find movies devoted exclusively to sex with Hooters girls ? or baristas.
You can find computer-animated porn about robots and people getting eaten by giant snakes, spiders, and aliens. All this means that there?s no external control on how much porn you consume.
The control has to come from you.
Masturbate in moderation
Abstaining from masturbation altogether sounds like a lot of work. Some people may really need it.
But the rest of us just need to exercise more control. We also need to stop feeling so guilty about masturbating in moderation.
People at risk of addiction to porn and masturbation have the unhealthiest attitudes toward relationships and sex, including self-love. Treating those attitudes is more important than swearing something off entirely. You don?t need to do that. Masturbating doesn?t just feel good. It can actually give you real superpowers, if used wisely.
Masturbating boosts your mental health
Orgasms from masturbation pump all kinds of good stuff into your brain ? like oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. Masturbating is literally the way your body calms down. Doing it at night can even help you fall faster into a deeper sleep.
Masturbating makes you more productive
When you feel good, you get more done ?it?s pretty simple. The chemicals released from an orgasm put you into a positive frame of mind, which means you?ll stop stressing and procrastinating.
Orgasms are like a shot of espresso.
They also have a way of clearing all the clutter out of your head.
Next time you can, use part of your lunch break to sneak away somewhere you can pet your kitten. See if you don?t feel refreshed, energized, and ready to tackle the rest of your day.
Some of my best work happens after a self-induced orgasm.
You can even use masturbation as a little reward for getting a lot done, especially if you?re tired or irritated. After all, it?s a free form of entertainment, and something most of us can look forward to.
Masturbating makes you healthier
Handfuls of studies have shown that masturbating lowers your risk of heart disease and certain types of cancer. For men, it contributes to erectile strength by exercising the smooth muscle in your penis. And for everyone, it strengthens your pelvic muscles.
Orgasms release micro-doses of cortisol. Although we?ve been taught to see cortisol as a bad thing, your body actually needs it to regulate your immune system and respond effectively to stress.
In short, masturbating is a great natural way to regulate all your brain and body?s hormones. It can even help with depression.
Don?t masturbate to pictures or porn
Most people who masturbate too much would do it far less if they imposed one simple rule: don?t do it in front of your computer.
Put away the lingerie catalogue.
Just lie down on your bed. Or take a shower. Or go to the bathroom. Close your eyes. Use your imagination. This is how you masturbate without screwing up your brain chemistry and sexual health.
Stick to once or twice a day
Most studies about the benefits of masturbation look at groups of men and women who have several orgasms a week. So there?s no scientific reason to pleasure yourself more than once a day.
Masturbating once will make you feel like a deity for a few hours, and keep you in a decent mood even longer.
Masturbating for half a day nonstop will make you feel like an orc.
Stop feeling so guilty
Outside of felonies, guilt never helped anyone. It?s a useless emotion, and often a weapon used by televangelists.
There?s no reason to feel guilty about moderate masturbation. You don?t have to talk about it, but you can do it whenever you want.
It doesn?t mean your partner isn?t satisfying you. It doesn?t mean you?re not having enough ?real?sex.
It doesn?t mean there?s anything wrong with you. And if you?re in a relationship with anyone who thinks that, you might want to educate them ? or just dump them.
Solo sex is like anything else
You don?t have to be an alcoholic to drink too much, or a video game addict to waste your life in front of a screen. Almost everything you can turn into a bad habit has benefits when used in moderation.
If you?re about to join NoFap, try this first:
- Take a few days off to reboot your brain
- Start back with 1?2 two times a day
- Use it as a reward, or to recharge
- Time yourself (15?20 minutes max)
- Don?t use any porn
Basically, try cutting back before you decide to forego something completely. Masturbation is too good to give up on a whim.