Advice from a woman who married thick
Photo by: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
Most straight young women are convinced that they want to land a guy with a big dick. And almost all of them change their mind once they have a big dick in their mouths.
I?m not a size queen, but I used to buy into that narrative. I assumed bigger dicks were better dicks.
So, I thought I hit the jackpot when I met my future husband. His cock was above average in length and girth. I was proud of being the girl who landed such a well-hung guy and I bragged to my friends about his size.
Over time, though, I started to notice all the challenges that came with his size. We had great, amazing sex (and still do), but it could be uncomfortable or painful if we rushed into it without making sure I?m extremely aroused. And even then, we sometimes have to take it a bit slowly.
Anal sex takes even more care and preparation. We can do it, but it takes some work.
But blowjobs are the biggest challenge.
Even in our honeymoon phase, when I was so horny I could take his cock easily, I had trouble fitting it into my mouth.
The girth of his cock fit perfectly in my mouth, like a puzzle piece that?s found its space. But that means there?s no give at all. My lips and jaw feel stretched open whenever I go down on him.
There was just no way to blow him comfortably, so I didn?t do it every time we were together. And once our relationship settled and became more comfortable, I stopped going down on him entirely. I just didn?t see the point of putting that much stress in my jaw to do something that was optional.
But then I changed my mind about the optional part. Not just because I started thinking of oral sex as a really intimate act, but also because I had flooded myself with so much blowjob porn that I got a strong urge to suck dick again.
After giving it up for years, I had matured into an eager cocksucker, but I still couldn?t manage his girth. This time, I wasn?t ready to give up. I was going to have to figure out a way to get my mouth on his cock and keep it there for at least a few minutes. So, I experimented, did some research (it?s not hard to find videos of women blowing huge guys), and figured out the best way to blow a guy whose dick is too big for your mouth.
Get Fussy About the Angles
When you?re dealing with a girthier cock, the position you?re in will make a big difference.
I always gave head in the same position. Because I?m right-handed, it felt natural for me to lie on my left side so I could my use my right hand to hold the guy?s cock in place while I went down on him.
That made some intuitive sense, and it didn?t cause any problems ? until I was doing it for Mr. Austin. Because of his size, sucking him off in that position meant I was taking his cock at an awkward angle.
After experimenting with different ones, I found two positions that work really well for going down on him. He?ll lie on his back while I kneel between his legs or I?ll lie on my stomach, prop myself up on my elbows, and he?ll stand next to the bed. From both of those positions, I have a lot more control over the way his cock and my mouth meet and I can take him at a more comfortable angle. I can even find ways to work with his curve.
Those are the ones that work best for me, but you can experiment and figure out which ones are most comfortable for you. Stick to the ones that work best best ? there?s no reason to put extra strain on your mouth just so you can try all sorts of positions.
Default to Lube
I?m very pro-lube for just about any sexual activity, but I used to think there was no point in using it during oral sex. Unless you were reaching for the flavored lube to add a little novelty to your blowjob, I figured there was more than enough spit to do the job.
But when I started looking for ways to give my husband better blowjobs, it occurred to me that the more saliva I could produce, the easier it was for me to give him head. So, I started using lube and it made a big difference.
Adding lube reduced the friction and resistance between my lips and his cock. That made it so I could handle him longer. I almost always use it now, because no matter how much I slobber on his cock, it?s nothing compared to what a good quality lube can do.
I?ve also discovered some flavored lubes that actually taste good (and don?t just taste good for lube). So, there?s really no reason to skip it.
Work Your Lips and Tongue
I once fucked a guy who had a cock like a soda can. It was on the shorter side, but it was massively thick.
We met on a train and fucked under a blanket while a few passengers were sleeping in nearby seats. We had to be discreet, so we didn?t get to do much. He played with my pussy, I stroked his cock, and then we fucked until a train attendant walked in and we had to pretend we were just talking (and very flustered for no reason whatsoever).
I never got to fuck him again and I didn?t get to go down on him, but I often wonder what I would?ve done if I got to suck his massive dick.
I know there?s no way I could?ve taken him into my mouth. I can barely manage my husband?s girth and this guy was decidedly thicker. If I did anything to him, it would?ve had to be with my tongue and lips only.
I would?ve teased the head of his cock by kissing and flicking my tongue against it.
I would?ve licked the base of his head and run my slobbery tongue against his frenulum.
I would?ve rubbed my lips along his shaft.
I would?ve opened my mouth and rested it on as much of his head as I could while rubbing my tongue all over it.
These are all things I do with Mr. Austin, too, but they?re all I could?ve done with someone girthier. And that?s okay. If he doesn?t fit easily enough, don?t force it. It?s still a blowjob even if you can?t actually take him in your mouth.
Just the Tip
When you?re dealing with a guy who?s too big for your mouth, focus your energies on the head of his cock.
Most of the blowjob action should focus on it anyway ? that?s where all the intense stimulation takes place. But you don?t have to give his shaft the shaft (sorry, couldn?t resist). It?s more fun when you get to play with the whole cock.
So, let your mouth handle the tip while your hand strokes his shaft. I love using sleeves, too. If you can get a short one that?s open at both ends, you can use it to give him an extra good time while you work the head. If you have a hard time finding one, you can DIY one by cutting the end of a short, affordable stroker (like a Tenga Egg) and using that.
I used to really struggle with sucking my husband?s cock because I only knew one way to blow a guy. I would lean over his cock and work my head on it like I was bobbing for apples.
That?s what happens when you skip the blowjob scenes in porn.
Bobbing on a dick gets exhausting, especially if that dick is just a bit much. Things are a lot better now that I know how to vary my technique and give my mouth a break when it needs it.
The best way to prolong a blowjob is to take your mouth off the cock and play with it another way. Use your hands to stroke him, massage his cock, or play with his balls while you talk dirty or give little encouraging moans. If you use your mouth, give your jaw a rest by kissing, licking, and running your lips across his dick.
Don?t Skip the Enthusiasm
It can be a challenge to go down on someone who?s on the bigger side, but it shouldn?t be a chore. Your goal should always be to have fun while giving head.
Remember that you?re not putting on a show. It?s not about how far you can take his cock. It?s not about how long you can suck it without taking your mouth off him. The point is to give him pleasure in whatever way works for you.
And it?s not even just about enjoying yourself for your sake (though that?s super important), it?s also about giving him a good experience. You?ll always give a better blowjob if you love giving it. Enthusiasm is the most important part of a good blowjob. It makes a bigger difference than any technique you could try.
Do whatever you can to make the blowjob more comfortable for you. You?ll give better head as a result.
Make a Big Deal About His Size
I?m a firm believer that two people who are attracted to each other and feel passionately about fucking each other?s brains out can make it work.
One of the ways to do that is to re-frame your obstacles as positives.
If he?s too big to fit comfortably in your mouth, be playful about it. Use it as an opportunity to worship his cock.
I don?t like patronizing men by pretending their cocks are too big to handle when they?re not. But if he really is too big to blow easily, make it part of your dirty talk. Start with the standard stuff, like:
You?re so big!
I don?t think I can fit the whole thing in, but I?ll try.
My jaw can?t take it anymore ? it?s so huge!
It?s just too much. I have to stop. Why don?t you put that big dick in my pussy, instead?
Or channel your inner pornstar and say whatever comes to mind. As long as you keep it fun, positive, and playful, you can make him feel good even if you have to stop sucking him sooner than either of you would like.
You Don?t Have to Suck to Completion
Not only is Mr. Austin big, he?s also a delayed ejaculator. I?ve only managed to make him come twice in fifteen years ? both times with my mouth. So, believe me when I say that finishing your guy off with your mouth is optional. He?ll still enjoy getting head and you can still enjoy giving it, even if you have to find another way to make him come.
I know that can be a compromise. I fantasize about using my mouth to make my husband come, but it would take too much work and give me way too much physical discomfort. Instead, I focus on the pleasure I?m giving him and knowing that by the end of the night, he?ll come, even if it?s not because of my blowjob skills.
If you really want to get him off that way, try using your hand to get him close and then going down on him to finish him off. It?s not quite the same, but it could still fulfill part of your fantasy.
Whatever you do, though, go easy on yourself. Tap out if it gets to be too much.
Give That Big Dick Some Love
Even though he?s the one getting all that physical stimulation, a blowjob should be for both of you. Otherwise, it?s not as intimate, not as fun, and not as good as it could be.
If he?s big and you?re blowing him the way you would if he had a more average-sized dick, though, you might find it hard to have a good time. So, make sure you modify your technique, take the right approach, and use as much lube as you need.
It might not be the kind of blowjob you gave your exes. It might not be the kind of blowjob that you see in porn. But it?s going to be the kind of blowjob that works for both of you.
If he?s really girthy, don?t be intimidated. You can give good oral at any size ? even if you can?t blow him like you?re bobbing for apples.
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