You can do it without choking on a dick
Photo by: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
When I?m looking for porn, there are some keywords that I avoid. If I see terms like ?deep throat,? ?throat fuck,? or ?gagging,? I know the video won?t be for me.
Face fucking is another one of those terms.
Face fucking in porn has never had any appeal to me. At best, it seemed pointless ? I?d much rather watch a woman give a blowjob than watch her mouth get rammed by a dick. At worst, it looked aggressive, uncomfortable, and rapey.
I had never been face fucked, and I counted myself lucky for that.
I like some light domination, but I don?t care for anything too aggressive or uncomfortable. I also have a sensitive gag reflex and I don?t feel the need to overcome it or power through it.
But mostly, I have a difficult relationships with blowjobs. I truly, genuinely love giving them. But I can also be emotionally triggered just by being asked to give one. Getting face fucked would be playing with post-traumatic fire.
I never intended to try face fucking, but one day I found myself instigating it.
I wasn?t trying to fulfill a fantasy or looking for a new way to get my husband off. It was purely for ergonomic reasons.
On that evening, I was lying on my side, getting fingered by Mr. Austin. I pulled him closer so I could suck him off while he did it. I was struggling. I had trouble moving my head from the position I was in. There was just no comfortable way to do it without shifting to a new position, but I wasn?t ready to stop, either. So, I pulled on his thighs a few times to signal to him that I could use a little help here.
He got the message and he started thrusting gently. I could stay perfectly still and just let the head of his cock slowly push past my lips, over and over.
That was my first face fuck, but it was nothing like the ones I?ve seen in porn. It was shallow enough that I didn?t have to worry about gagging and crying. It was more tender than aggressive. And I was the one who initiated it. I felt in complete control even as I put myself in a vulnerable position.
I asked to be face fucked out of convenience, but in that moment I discovered that it was also kind of hot.
I still don?t look at face fuck porn, but being face fucked has become a turn-on.
The way my husband does it to me, it?s an act of light domination. It gets me off to give up some of my power while knowing I?m still completely safe.
I hated the idea of face fucking ? now it?s part of our repertoire and I can ask for it when I?m in the right mood.
If you like to idea of getting face fucked but you don?t care for the aggression and discomfort, here are some things to keep in mind.
Face Fucking Is Not Deep Throating
Researching this article was a challenge because most people writing about face fucking are also writing about deep throating or throat fucking. In fact, I can only think of one site that actually distinguished between the two.
So, let?s boil it down. Face fucking is just that: fucking someone?s face. It?s like a blowjob but instead of the person with the mouth doing all the work, it?s the person with the cock who takes care of the movements.
That doesn?t automatically mean that it has to involve gagging, deepthroating, or aggressive jackhammer fucking.
There?s really no other way to describe what Mr. Austin does to me. It?s not me blowing him. It?s not me sucking him off or giving him head. He?s not being aggressive or fucking my throat. But he?s still fucking my face or fucking my mouth.
I?m not just splitting these terms to be pedantic. Realizing that face fucking doesn?t have to involve my throat in any way is what allowed me to enjoy it in the first place.
Trust Above All Else
Face fucking requires you to give up a lot of control and put yourself in a compromised position. It gives your partner a lot of power over you and things can easily go too far, especially if you want to keep your throat and gag reflex out of it. Because of that, who you do it with is your most important decision when you want to get face fucked.
Even with someone you trust, you need to make sure that you can rely on them to do what you want them to do and not take things too far. If you just tell them you want them to face fuck you, that leaves it to them to guess the level of aggression and dominance you want out of it (and if they only know it from porn, you might be in for a more extreme experience than you care for).
You?ll need to explicitly set out your desires, expectations, and boundaries ahead of time because you can?t negotiate the face fuck while his dick is thrusting into your mouth.
Establish a Non-Verbal Signal
Unless you can throw your voice like a ventriloquist, your safe word is basically useless when you?re getting face fucked. You can?t rely on you trying to blurt it out while muffled by a cock.
You need to come up with a non-verbal signal that you want things to slow down, ease up, or come to a stop altogether.
The simplest signal might be to tap, slap, or squeeze his thigh to show that you?re not digging what?s happening.
Use Your Hand as a Buffer
If you?re worried about the thrusting going a bit too far, you can wrap your hand around your partner?s cock while they fuck your mouth with it. That way, your hand creates a buffer to prevent him from going too deep.
Even if you have a careful partner you trust, you can still create a buffer. The extra sense of security you get from it might help you get more enjoyment out of the experience.
Plus, your hand will give your partner more to fuck, which isn?t a bad thing at all.
The last time I got face fucked, I decided to stick my tongue out so Mr. Austin?s cock could rub against it as it went in and out of my mouth.
I don?t think there?s a name for this, but I dubbed it ?whaling? because it reminded me of a whale sticking its tongue out to get a rub (but a sexy version).
Whaling is a good way to add a bit of variety to face fucking. And because you choose what your tongue does, it?s a fun way to regain a little bit of agency over the action and be an active participant in your face fuck.
I also want to recommend it because it got an intense response when I did it. It almost made my husband come. When I asked him about it later, he told me that he was about one minute away from finishing on my tits. That doesn?t sound like a huge accomplishment, but making him come is something I haven?t managed to do in close to 15 years. So, I chalk it up as a point in favor of whaling.
Find Your Position
A lot of face fucking advice recommends starting it with the recipient on their knees and the giver standing. But that?s not a great position for me for any kind of head.
The first time I got face fucked, I was laying on my side. It was really comfortable. But I also like lying on my back while Mr. Austin kneels on top of me and face fucks me from above. There?s a nice subby dynamic to it that I find arousing.
When I want to feel a little safer, I like to be the one on top and let Mr. Austin thrust up into my mouth. That way, there?s nothing behind my head, so I can pull away or do some work to regulate the depth on my end. It?s a good position to try if you don?t want to feel like you?re trapped between a cock and a hard place.
Play It Your Way
If you?re into playing the submissive role (or if you just like to take a break and be a bit lazy once in a while), face fucking can be a fun way to satisfy that. It doesn?t have to involve choking, gagging, hair pulling, or any kind of aggression whatsoever. If you?re with a partner you trust and you set your terms out clearly and explicitly, you can play it the way you want and take it like a champ, even if it doesn?t look like anything you?ve seen in porn.
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