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How to get back together after a breakup naturally ? How to rekindle a relationship after a breakup.
Getting back together after a break up may be exactly what you want. If you?ve recently split with someone you?re still crazy about they can consume your every thought. It?s easy to get carried away by emotion after a relationship ends, but this can leave you vulnerable and open to doing some things you?ll later regret. If you?ve taken to calling your ex and begging for another chance or you have written them long emails sharing all your feelings, you already have let your better judgment take a back seat to your emotions. You can get them back, but your first step is to start thinking before you act.
Contacting your ex after the break up is something you?re just naturally going to want to do. At first it may be out of desperation and you?ll be crying and pleading with them to reconsider. After that anger may be at the heart of what you?re feeling and this can result in you saying some really hurtful things to your ex. If you are serious about getting back together after a break up, you have to focus on one thing in the days following the split. You have to promise yourself that you won?t contact your ex for any reason. This includes just to say hi and to see how they?re doing.
Time truly does heal all things and some time apart may be exactly what you need to get your ex back. People can?t think clearly if they are constantly surrounded by intense emotions. You have to give your ex time alone and you need that time too. Let your ex think about things and about what went wrong. Most importantly give your ex an opportunity to experience life without you. How can they want you back if they never have a chance to miss you?
The other thing you must do if you are intent on getting back together after a break up is fix whatever problems you initiated that led to the relationship falling apart. It takes two to make it work and two to make it fail. Own up to what you did and make a pact with yourself never to do it again. It could be something as simple as nagging your ex, or your negative attitude. Whatever it is you need to find a way to put it behind you and become a better person. Your ex will be amazed at your desire to mature and improve yourself.
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Well, the short answer is, it can be quite hard. And painful. Just ask anyone who has gone through it. It is so unpleasant that at least one enterprising guy has put up a Web site, offering to break up with your mate for you, over the phone. For a price, of course. I hear business is brisk.
Why is it so difficult? After all, you are both adults. You would think that surviving breakups simply means the two of you could just sit down and talk about what happened to your relationship. Then you could both decide calmly whether to give it another go, or call it quits and move on.
Sorry, in affairs of the heart, it does not work that way, most of the time. Strong emotions, bruised egos and broken hearts are involved here. There may be a good measure of screaming and yelling as well. To wade through this minefield you will need tact, patience and understanding. A good plan would be nice, too.
Try to put yourself in your ex?s shoes, and appreciate how he/she feels. Both of you may generally agree that the breakup was one person?s fault. You may even think this is an important step forward. For example, she cheated on you, so the split is her fault, right?
Wrong. OK, it may be mostly her fault. But you must accept your share of the blame and responsibility. Perhaps you stayed with her too long, when you knew you should have left. Maybe you neglected her, and loneliness drove her into the arms of another man.
Cheating is never right or excusable. But realizing the reasons behind bad behavior will help you learn and grow. You will know what conduct you have to change in the future, and what mistakes to avoid.
Surviving breakups requires getting through the day without talking to your lover, of course. And then every day after that. This will feel very unnatural and difficult at first, even bizarre. You no doubt still have feelings for your ex, and that is perfectly normal. He probably has some for you, too.
If it makes you feel better, focus on what went wrong in the relationship. Concentrate on those annoying little habits of his that drove you crazy. Aren?t you glad you do not have to deal with that anymore? Now is your chance: use this time apart for your personal growth and development.
In other words, concentrate on you, on your health and well-being, and? on your relationship with yourself! You should work out your problems and straighten out your thoughts before trying to get your ex back, or finding someone new. We all have trials and difficulties in life. Most of us, anyway. But no one wants to be around a sad, depressed person, or someone with bad or weird behavior or habits. Make some tough, careful decisions about your future, and stick to them.
You can, and should, grieve for your ex in a way that feels right for you. Play those sad old love songs, go to your favorite hangout if you want. Or jump head first into the casual dating scene, and have fun. This will get you through the first few weeks, which are the roughest. Then your views and your heartaches may soften and become more manageable.
You may go through two breakups, actually. One in your head, and one in your heart. Naturally, the second one is the hard, painful step that may cause you many a sleepless night. Agreeing logically to split up is easy. Too easy. Your heart will not let you get away as simply and cleanly as that.
Even so, try and learn from every experience, both good and bad. Resolve not to make the same mistakes next time, either with your ex or with someone new.
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