December 20, 2018
For those of you who have been following me since the beginning of my personal journey as both a Hotwife, and a blogger, or on my website, over the years, you already know that one of my most frequently asked questions from men goes like this:
?When do I give her an ankle bracelet to wear? Should she wear it on her left ankle, or her right ankle? What should I tell her when I give it to her??
I got asked this question a few times again recently, so I decided to address it again knowing full well that every time I write a Post about this subject, I?m going to raise just as many questions as I try to answer. I wondered how many times I had written about this subject before, so I went back through my archives.
I have written 12 Posts about this subject over 4+ years. What I discovered in those 12 Posts surprised me. My thinking on this subject has grown, along with my experience, and from the input I have received from what the members of Dr. Lexi?s Coconut Telegraph have been telling me.
Spoiler Alert! I do not disavow any advice I have ever given about the wearing of a Hotwife Ankle Bracelet as an indicator of her status. So if that?s true, what has changed? My level of experience and my relationship with my husband, about what it means to him, has changed, which means my thinking has also changed.
In the beginning, my status, and outward appearance as Michael?s Hotwife was not as symbolic as it is now because we didn?t know any better at the time.
The way the Lifestyle was portrayed ?on line? was that all Hotwives wore ankle bracelets like a cop wears a badge. That is how a hotwife was portrayed in the world as we knew it back in 2014. The only place we could find information was on Lifestyle sites like Tumblr or on some of the totally worthless Lifestyle Forums, where if you ask a question and 20 people respond, you get 20 different opinions. Lifestyle forums are worth only as much as they cost you to get, which should be zero!
Those Forums did NOT work for us, and is the reason I decided to become a blogger and have my own website, because we decided there needed to be a voice of reason who would tell the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, otherwise known as the Truth, about this Alternative Marriage Lifestyle.
In the beginning when I first agreed to become Michael?s Hotwife, and open up my end of our marriage, he wanted me to ?advertise? my status as being available to other men by wearing an ankle bracelet on my right ankle.
Why? Because that is what he learned searching on line when he realized he had this fantasy, which it turns out most men have, of sharing his wife with other men.
So that led us to a conversation, which led us down this path which if you want to know how we got where we are, I have written about it extensively on my website, but this Post is about the wearing of ankle bracelets.
By the way, I still wear one every day I am not traveling for my day job, and it is still a topic of conversation for my husband who almost always asks me which one I am wearing. I have about thirty of them but to be honest there are at least ten of them I will never wear out in public. Most of my ankle bracelets are gifts from my husband, which explains why I have so many that I will never wear, because in the beginning when he was so gung ho and was trying to get me to go out so many nights a week because it wasn?t happening for me, he concluded it was because men must not recognize my status as married, but available.
His shallow idea was to make my status more obvious to men which is how I ended up with ankle bracelets with charms or letters or script, like I-L-2-F, and Q of S, (which I?m not often), and ?Hotwife?, in script.
I am explaining this to you so you can understand how our thinking has evolved over these past years. The advice I used to give men was not do anything stupid like my husband did, and I used to advise women on how to handle any conversation that came up as a result of wearing one. I used to help women craft a response based on her level of interest with the guy doing the asking.
That was then. That is not the reality of today. I can tell when men are disappointed with my advice to the ankle bracelet question now and it tells me where they have been getting their information.
Today I tell men it doesn?t matter whether she wears it left ankle or right ankle, or whether she wears one at all. I still tell men not to buy stupid stuff that she would never wear, and I tell men it?s a bad idea to surprise her with an ankle bracelet when she doesn?t know its symbolic meaning first, but probably not for the reason you think.
You probably think it?s because she will get attention she doesn?t understand and might not want. Wrong! It?s because if you trick her into wearing it and she figures it out, you are going to be a shit! Pardon my extreme Southeastern American slang.
So if the ankle bracelet doesn?t matter in the bigger picture of being approached by men who know its symbolic meaning, why do many Hotwives choose to wear them anyway?
Before I answer that, let me explain to you why it?s only symbolic. In order to do that you first have to know what the symbolic message is. To be honest with you when I first put the message out on Dr. Lexi?s Coconut Telegraph, that I was trying to figure out how to explain it, like about three years ago, I discovered they knew the answer but it was complicated to explain.
We worked it through eventually, as collaboration, and I have explained this many times since then in other Posts, but here it is again. A Hotwife wearing an ankle bracelet is sending a symbolic message to men who understand its meaning, that her husband is giving his consent to men to approach her and talk to her. That?s all! Wearing an ankle bracelet does not obligate a women to anything at all.
What I should have done was ask a man what he thought it meant, because men already know there is no obligation on her part.
So why do so many Hotwives wear an ankle bracelet? The two biggest reasons are because our husband?s are proud of us and want us to advertise our status as potentially available, and because it makes us as women feel good about ourselves, and our marital security, but also our sexual independence.
So what?s the rest of the story if the ankle bracelet is symbolism only, and doesn?t matter?
For one thing, women don?t need any advice from me on how to respond to attention she either wants from men, or doesn?t want. Second, even if a man approaches her with intent, the subject of her ankle bracelet is NOT going to come up, before the fact. If it comes up after the fact and he consummates her as a practicing Hotwife then, who cares?
So what is the advice I give to a man if he wants his wife to get more attention from men and the ankle bracelet is not the best way to advertise her status? It?s embarrassingly simple.
Buy her a bigger wedding ring and send her out on Wednesday to Girl?s Night Out! It?s the wedding ring that puts the bulls eye on her, stupid! Not an ankle bracelet! The ankle bracelet draws men who know its symbolic meaning. Her wedding ring draws every man in the club!