Photo by Tiago B on Unsplash
I was married for 6 years to a man who couldn?t keep up with my sex drive. We got married when I was 27 and he was 35 years old. I told myself it was normal for an man approaching his forties to lose interest. I told myself it didn?t matter.
I still wanted sex. I felt ashamed of my sexuality having grown up in a society where men wanted sex more than women, supposedly. Turns out, I want more sex than most men including my ex-husband. Before marriage, I downplayed how often I wanted it. I pretended I did not fantasize about taboo situations. I wanted to be watched. I wanted to have a threesome. I wanted to be desired.
Then, I almost cheated on my husband for the first time with a man who hit on me in front of my ex-husband. When I mentioned how this man made the moves on me, my ex-husband thought I was making it up to get a reaction out of him. I started to realize that the situation was only getting worse, not better.
Suddenly, I found myself walking to this guy?s apartment instead of going on my jog. When I knocked on his door, he let me in and immediately started kissing my neck. He tried kissing me on the lips, but I couldn?t bring myself to kiss him. I freaked out and left his place. I immediately went home and told my husband, who still did not believe me.
Fast forward about six months later, I found myself at a meetup group for women who wanted to be dominant and men who wanted to be submissive. Before I went, I scrolled through the guys who would be attending.
When I saw his picture, I knew I was in trouble. I was immediately attracted to this 6 foot something looking man with dirty blond hair and blue eyes. I attended with the full intention of not saying ?No? this time.
Clap if you want to know more about how my relationship with Mr. Smith progressed, and find out who dominated who.
