An advocate?s perspective.
Photo by James Eades on Unsplash
Four months into being single, and I am finally feeling like I want to start meeting men again. Not necessarily going fully into dating, more like sending my tentacles out there and have a feel of the dating atmosphere.
I mentioned this to a friend, and she immediately replied she has someone to introduce to me.
She probably thought this will be an advantage in my eyes, being Jewish myself and all. Most of my Jewish friends prefer dating other Jewish people.
I don?t. I come from a Jewish background, it?s true, but I don?t have an affinity with Judaism. For a few reasons.
So I don?t feel any inclination for dating Jewish guys.
Actually, when it comes to Jewish date prospects, there?s one thing I?m even dreading.
The absence of a foreskin.
I like my man with it, intact.
And I know, lots of non-Jewish guys still don?t have foreskins. I have dated a few. Still, dating a Jewish guy is like forfeiting any chance of being with a foreskin enabled person. I am not sure I want that.
Now, don?t get me wrong. If I happen to fall in love with someone, I am going to love them regardless of their foreskin constitution. I will like them with whatever shape their body might be, including their penis.
But my preference for a man with a foreskin is a result of my experience with men, combined with something that I read a long time ago:
Men with a foreskin tend to be more tender as lovers.
Sure, this is a very broad generalization. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions.
Yet, it makes lots of sense.
According to studies like this one,
Circumcision ablates the most sensitive parts of the penis.
It is no wonder then, that circumcised men won?t feel the most gentle sensations that are at the core of the sexual interaction which I enjoy best.
I am a proud advocate of slow sex, hardly ever enjoying quick and rough movements. When my man is inside of me, I love long moments where we both stay still or as close to still as possible.
In those moments of stillness, I can feel the subtlest of sensations that one can imagine. And so did some of my partners.
Although the number of lovers I had cannot be considered to be of decent study proportion by any means, I have noticed that the ones still possessing a foreskin can feel ? and enjoy ? really subtle sensations as well.
All of my partners were caring and wanted to please me sexually, some more than others. However, there is no denying that the non-circumcised partners I had were more naturally inclined to be gentle when inside me. Their movements were more expansive, hardly ever jerky. Comparing with the circumcised partners I?ve had, which were more on the rough side of the scale than the non-circumcised ones, the ones with the intact foreskin win. Big time.
As I mentioned, my small ?study group? of partners is not really something that anyone can trust. However, it seems like I?m not alone. According to circumcision.org, other women also feel that non-circumcised men are better as lovers. Furthermore, they claim that the foreskin has an important part to play during intercourse:
During intercourse, it glides up and down the penile shaft, reducing friction and retaining vaginal secretions. Without the foreskin, the skin on the penile shaft rubs against the vaginal wall, resulting in friction and increasing the need for artificial lubrication. The circumcised man has less sensitivity and requires deeper and harder thrusting to try to compensate, further increasing the friction.
Actually, one of my exes used his foreskin for a smooth, easy penetration without lube. He had this thing where he would pull the foreskin back up to cover the tip (glans) of the penis while penetrating, which was very pleasant even if I was too dry for penetration otherwise. I guess it saves a few cents on lube?
Does this mean that having a foreskin necessarily means less sexual pleasure?
If you ? or your partner ? lack a foreskin, don?t fright. It does not mean you cannot enjoy slow sex.
People can develop sensitivity with practice and patience.
In fact, when I started practicing slow sex, my vagina was mostly numbed. After years of friction-based sex (namely, thrusting and in-out motions), it seemed like nerve endings protected themselves by shutting down. I couldn?t feel much inside the vagina. Then, gradually, through practicing mindful sex, the sensitivity was restored.
And this rings true for every part of the body: we can attune ourselves to some extremely delicate sensations merely by slowing down and paying attention. Which is good news for everyone, as it means you could enjoy delicate, slow sex sessions even if you or your partner lack a foreskin.
I am just under the impression that the tenderness and slowing down during sex comes more naturally to men with a foreskin, that?s all.
Should you circumcise your newborn?
I must warn you I am even more biased than you?d think. It?s not just about the potential pleasure of a female partner.
I am personally under the opinion that it?s an unnecessary procedure. I am aware that there are health benefits, but these are mostly lowering the risks of potential harms. Harms that can be prevented by other means like a good personal hygiene practice and using condoms.
When looking at the pros and cons of circumcision, one needs to take into account the ethical, health, and cultural aspects of their choice as it is mostly considered irreversible. And one also needs to think about how it will affect the sex life of the child later in life. I was surprised to see that on Webmd, under the section that outlines the risks of circumcision, there is nothing about how circumcision removes the most sensitive part of the penis. Isn?t it worth a mention?
I won?t go into the entire debate in this article.
However, now that you know my opinion, I?ll tell you what.
Do your own research.
Look it up.
Read both sides of the debate and decide for yourself which one makes more sense.
As long as you make an informed decision, and not just doing something because everyone else does, you are surely going to gain my respect.