Deep Thoughts During These Quiet Days/ by Jack Handey

Deep Thoughts During These Quiet Days/ by Jack Handey

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And a bit of plagiarism on my part

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Inspired by Jack Herlocker

Life Thoughts During These Quiet Days

Observations from the field (but not the one that just had the manure spread in it)

I suspect most readers on Medium won?t know who Jack Handey is. Here is a synopsis of this wonderful fellow?

Jack Handey (born February 25, 1949) is an American humorist. He is best known for his ?Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey?, a large body of surrealistic one-liner jokes, as well as his ?Fuzzy Memories? and ?My Big Thick Novel? shorts, and for his deadpan delivery.[1] Although many people assume otherwise,[2][3] Handey is a real person, not a pen name or character. (source)

What I do miss is the introduction to Handey?s work was done by the lovable Phil Hartman.

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I hear most people wondering when will we get back to ?normal?. I honestly don?t know what that is. Normal for me can sometimes be summed up in a Jack Handey quote, which will be somewhat irreverent and dark.

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See? Its a little dark and twisted.


But it is kinda funny. You know you giggled just a bit.

I keep trying to find a ?normal?. In the beginning of the year, I thought I had struck the mother load of normal, when I finally had a roof over my head (where I didn?t have to wonder where I was going to pee in the middle of the night because of homelessness), a good job working for the Hilton and being near my children, after being away from them for over a year.

For three months, I had a routine. I felt like everyone else. Then this little bugger shows up and over the course of several months, normal has gone out the window.

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Strange how such a pretty organism can cause so much death and mayhem. The death toll now is over 12,000.

So, now my new normal is trying to apply for unemployment, which is going to take time, because me and a million other people are crashing websites and waiting on phone lines for hours on end, stalking Indeed. com for jobs, and watching so much Netflix my eyes are going dry from not blinking.

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I?ve been fortunate enough to have time to write, starting with my infamous villanelles ( that?s ?in? famous, as in The Three Amigos) which the lovely Meg accepts. I try to write longer pieces for Clay, but I look at the end result and shudder. ( don?t worry, Clay, I?m working on it)

Oh, yeah, so back to my deep thoughts during this strange time in our lives.

I never appreciated the sounds of the birds in the morning, because the street I live on is a major thoroughfare with big semi?s barreling down it, but with the stay at home orders, those little chirps start at about 3?4 in the morning. (and I think, shit, that?s early and I want them to shut up)

My son and daughter live in the same building and they are always coming over to see what is for dinner. ( that makes me smile soooo much)

I don?t get to see my other son and his daughter too much. Unfortunately my granddaughter lives with her mom ( mom and my son are longer together) but granddaughter lives in a household where a relative has an immune compromised system, but get to talk to her from time to time ( I do get choked up when I hear her voice) I hope I get to see her soon.

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Yes. That would be nice.

?To put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh?

It sounds like a good starting point for ?normal?.

Whatever the hell that is.

Laughing at people is good, too.

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