I have a pillow. I have some privacy. Let?s find out.
Photo by: Dean Drobot / Shutterstock
Sooner or later, every girl humps one of her pillows.
In my case, it started with my hand. I?d lie on it and grind my hips. It felt good. Really good.
Eventually, I discovered that humping my stuffed animals felt even better. There was more to hump ? the pressure was spread out and consistent. It was perfect for a little lady discovering what her body is capable of.
My favorite was a Care Bear doll. It wore down so much it looked like it had been beaten up. But it had a firm nose so I couldn?t resist sitting on its face.
At some point, I found out that pillows worked really well too, even though they didn?t have noses. That was a very happy discovery because I wasn?t always around a stuffed animal, but there was usually a pillow nearby.
If I needed some comfort, a bit of physical release, or just some really nice feelings, I could find a pillow, lie on top of it, and hump my way to a moment of bliss.
Pillow humping served me well until I started getting humped by boys. I gave it up because I just wanted the real deal.
Then I started buying bullet vibrators and realized that sometimes the real deal can be a bit overrated.
By that point, my pillows were just for sleeping. I had upgraded and there was no point in going back.
The bullets got me curious about trying other toys. After a while, I found the perfect one: a rabbit vibrator with two pink silicone bunny ears sticking up from the top.
It was my favorite toy, and soon it became the only one I used. Whenever I?d want to get off, I would turn it on, stick it between my thighs, lie on my stomach, and grind it until I came.
It worked extremely well. It made me come really quickly and gave me a strong orgasm every single time. It was perfect.
A little too perfect, really. Humping my rabbit vibe was the easiest way to come, and as my life became busier and busier that became more and more important.
My husband spent a lot of time out of the house and I spent a lot of time making snacks, dealing with tantrums, putting kids down for naps, and wondering why the fuck their naps ended so quickly.
It was somehow hectic and mind-numbing at the same time. I was stressed up to my eyeballs. Every once in a while, I needed some physical release. But I only had time to do it one way: lock the door, stick the rabbit vibrator down my pants, and grind it for a fast but satisfying orgasm.
All good. Except that I started needing that precise sensation to get off.
I had given myself death grip.
I could still have orgasms other ways, but they were weaker. Unless I was grinding that toy, I didn?t feel satisfied.
Sex ended the same way every time ? with me asking my husband to get my vibrator and then telling him to come on my ass while I make myself come with my precious little bunny.
I?m grateful I have a reliable way to come, but it started to get a little frustrating. I feel like I?m missing out on other kinds of stimulation.
It would be nice if I could still get really good orgasms from my fingers. Or if I could finish with other toys or in different positions.
I?m constantly preaching the value of variety. I can?t get enough of all the different ways people can fuck, stimulate themselves, and come. But I can?t break out of my pattern.
I?ve been working on solutions. I?m trying to vary the kinds of stimulation I give myself. I?m taking more time to enjoy the different sensations I get from different toys. And I?m considering going back to the basics and seeing if I can learn how to get really satisfying climaxes from my fingers again.
That got me wondering if I could still come from humping a pillow or if my death gripped clit would need a lot more.
There was only one way to find out.
Just Me and My Little Friend
Revisiting my pillow humping habit was kind of a loose plan. I didn?t set a date or time or anything like that.
When I got around to trying it, it was more like a crime of opportunity.
My husband and I were woken up by the sound of our toddler crying on the baby monitor. Mr. Austin groaned, rubbed his eyes, and shuffled off to the kid?s bedroom to hold him and rock him.
But he wasn?t the only one who needed to be soothed back to sleep.
I was wide awake at two in the morning, lying in the dark, not entirely sure why I felt so wired.
I needed something to tire me out, and I knew exactly what would work.
Normally, this is when I?d reach into my nightstand and have a quick round with my vibrator. But I realized this would be the perfect time to put pillow humping to the test.
I was alone at night and kind of horny. What better time for a little masturbation experiment?
I just had to choose a pillow. The older I get, the more pillows I amass on my bed, so I had quite a selection.
There was the big body pillow that I rest between my legs when I sleep. That was the obvious choice because, well, it?s already in the right position. But I figured it would be too big to mount perfectly ? I?d be lying flat on top of it instead of arching my hips in a way that I hope is as sexy as I think it is.
There were the sham pillows I had kicked to the bottom of the bed, but something told me they wouldn?t be reliable.
There was my husband?s pillow, but that just felt disrespectful.
So I was left with the little teal pillow I cuddle when I sleep. It?s about the size of a small cushion, so if any pillow should work, it would be this one.
I wish I could tell a long, drawn out, explicit story about how this went. But I can?t. Not because pillow humping can?t make you hot under the collar (there are plenty of pillow humping girls on Pornhub who prove it can be sexy as fuck) but because the whole thing went by in a flash.
I kept my pajamas on, placed the little pillow against my pussy, and rolled over onto my stomach.
I held the pillow in place with my hand and pressed on it to give a little more pressure. Then, I started grinding against it.
It was the most nostalgic sexual experience I?ve had since I fucked to a playlist of my old bang jams. Humping the pillow felt very, very, very familiar. The feeling took me right back to my more innocent years.
It was immediately pleasurable and the sensation intensified quickly. I came in less than two minutes.
My pillow humping experiment was over almost as soon as it started, but the results were fucking fantastic. I had a really nice, satisfying orgasm, caught my breath, and went back to sleep.
Maybe There?s Hope for Me After All
So, it turns out I can still come from humping a pillow.
I was shocked that even my death-gripped pussy could get so much satisfaction from something so simple and plushy.
I?ve come to a point where I don?t just need a vibrator to have a strong orgasm ? I need a very specific vibrator to get the kind of orgasm that makes me tap out and call it a night.
That little rabbit vibrator is discontinued, and I often wonder what I?ll do if mine breaks. Turns out I was worrying for nothing. If that terrible day ever comes, I can just tuck my little pillow between my legs and hump the stuffing out of it.
I?m not sure why the pillow succeeded where fancier toys have failed.
It could be the exact amount of pressure it put on my clit. Enough to get me off, but not enough to overstimulate a sensitive lady like myself.
But I can?t shake the feeling that it was an incredible feat of muscle memory. Somehow, my body just responds to that sensation from years of practice back when my body was at its most impressionable. Now when there?s a pillow between my legs, it knows exactly what to do to get from a very pleasant feeling to a shuddering orgasm.
Pillow humping probably won?t do much to help my death grip. Humping stuff is exactly what got me into this mess ? humping something else might just cement me as an on-the-stomach climaxer.
It?s a good option to have, though. Especially when my pussy?s sore from being overworked.
If you haven?t humped a pillow in years, you should revisit it. It?s worth doing it for the nostalgia alone. Plus, there?s something very fitting about using it as a sex toy when you can?t sleep.
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