That?s the amazing outcome of an incredibly funny and empowering afternoon I spent with some squirters and a sex coach.
There is a bit of confusion and a lack of scientific studies around squirting and that?s a shame; so last week I talked a bit about Skene?s Gland and how things are around our vulva and vagina (it?s always good to know some anatomy) but I know the best way to overcome a taboo is talking about it! So I started asking almost every woman I?ve met in the past month: hey, btw, do you squirt??
Aaaand I way lucky enough to find a group of 5 women who do!
So after several drinks, lovely food and very long, fantastic vagina?s conversations, we agreed on a technique to make us squirt.
Warning: squirting is not a must. It doesn?t make us cooler or sexier or better in bed. It?s not something we do for other people. It?s not something easy and there is nothing wrong if you can?t do it!
I?m also not a fun of the ?how to? or ?instruction manual? approach to sex. However, one of the outcome of our convo was that there is a specific stimulation technique that helps ejaculation, so it?s good to know how it works.
A must: be creative. Concentrate on your feelings and emotions. Make this technique yours! What matters is the way it makes you feel.
1.Find the G Spot.
Insert one or two fingers into the vagina and feel along the front wall with your fingertips; it?s enough to insert up to the second knuckle since the G Spot is usually between 1?3inches inside the vaginal canal. Use a ?come here motion? to locate the spot. You should feel a nob or a rough zone. If she is already well aroused, the tissue will feel like a sponge. You got it!!
Note: please, please, please cut your nails first!
Note of the Note: if you need some lube, no shame whatsoever, use it!
2.Keep going with the ?come here? motion. You can use your thumb to stimulate the clit at the same time. Speed and intensity are at your own pleasure. Remember it?s a warming up! Ladies, some feedbacks are very much appreciated here.
3.Get ready to change the motion. When she comes closer and closer to orgasm (and you can tell that from the way she squeezes your under hand or the moan she?s making or BETTER she can tell you, communication is the key of great sex) that?s the moment when you have to change stimulation. You really want to wait until she is pretty close to the big O.
4.Start shaking. Stop doing the gentle ?come here? motion and make your fingers more rigid, as well the thumb on the clit; tens up all the muscles of your wrist and arm and from your arm muscles start shaking vigorously. It?s an up&down shaking.
Note: this is an intense stimulation technique, you have to be vigorous. Don?t be afraid of hurting her BUT of course, follow her instructions.
Note of the Note: some partners use their palm against the clit to better stimulate it instead of the thumb.
5. Keep going. You should start seeing her having a very intense orgasm, maybe convulsing, laughing, crying (all emotions are possible here, the release of energy is very intense) aaand starting ejaculating. DON?T STOP when you start seeing that! You have to keep going until the very end when she starts calming down.
Now you can relax and cheer yourself up!
Fundamental Side Notes:
A mindful approach to sex and squirt is crucial. You have to forget everything and just focusing on your body and sensations.
Foreplay is very important. Starting from caressing, kissing, playing with your entire body helps getting a mindful state of mind.
Having a great feeling with your partner and being communicative with each other is extremely helpful; also be sure you both are comfortable.
Dear beloved partners, squirting is a tiring technique. It can take quite a while of vigorous shaking or come here motion so.. train a bit!
Dear ladies, you don?t need a partner to squirt. You can stimulate your G Spot with the help of a dildo or a vibrator to reproduce the strong stimulation and be able to ejaculate.
So to the ones that are already setting up everything to start a potential squirting session, I wish you the best of luck ladies! But remember, it could take a while to get there and even if it doesn?t happen, it?s ok.
Sex is not about the performance, it?s about enjoying every single step of the journey.
PS: thank you so much my lovely squirters for sharing your intimate experiences with me, your thoughts and emotions. This is priceless! And you?ll get a piece of that in next week?s article too.