Things Your Mother Forgot to Tell You
Have you ever felt the sudden urge to rip all your clothes off or the need to sleep in the nude even when it?s negative degrees outside? And during the full moon, do you feel like the wild beast inside you wants to run into the woods and howl your guts out? Most importantly, have you been asking yourself lately if maybe, just maybe, you could be a? werewolf?
Chances are you could be! Somehow, a ticking feeling led you to look for the symptoms and claim your destiny! So before the signature werewolf stench drive your friends away or while you?re still skeptical of the ?raw meat? diet, here are 8 signs you could be a werewolf (or already are one)!
Hairless Werewolf of the Brazilian Pack
1. You like being nude ?a little too much!
It?s not just showing your cuts or curves, you feel strangely comfortable being nude. There?s no ancient philosophy behind it, you?re just secure enough to bare it all. Preferably when the moon is at its brightest and you?re on your once a month vacation into the wild. The problem is, your neighbors could be weirded-out by this new nudist concept you?re digging, so it might be best to cover some skin. After all, you won?t be able to resist when you come full moon, so cover up while you can!
Best kept secret in Hollywood?
2. Hair everywhere
You tend to be old school when it comes to grooming. You have hair everywhere. Not only because shaving comes with water which pretty much scares the hell out of you, but you let it grow ?as-is? because it kinda gives you a natural blanket and a macho caveman steeze. And when you do shave, it?s only the palms, leaving them rough for some full moon shenanigans, if you know what I mean.
Dogs. Wolves. Whatever.
3. You act like a dog
Aside from your random barking and midnight howling, you?ve acquired canine habits that freak everyone out. This includes panting, cratching, howling, and peeing in the corner (bad dog!) Strangely enough, dogs themselves bark at you because they sense your beastly vibe. The good thing is, you can hear someone?s footsteps and even smell what he ate for dinner coming from afar, that it gives you time to act like a normal person and wipe out that drool. Well, at least for next fifteen minutes.
I guess I don?t need Viagra, then?
4. Extreme Testosterone
We?re not talking about a pumped-up hurrah in a football game, this is much more intense. The hype is real. It?s like leaping from tree to tree with a zooming vision, but since you are yet to develop that, you?re just so hyper that you pick a fight with your own shadow and wake up in the woods dog-tired. You?ll probably wake up beside a dead animal and feel disgusted with such a foul breakfast even though you enjoyed it as your midnight snack.
What? I had scrambled tofu for breakfast. Give a guy a break already!
5. Cravings for raw meat
You?ve been a meat lover for years, but now you want to go Paleo. A bit of squirrel for starters and some deer juice to push it down. As long as you don?t get a hankering for human flesh and try to gnaw on your lover?s upper limb, you?re still good to hangout with the human race?for now.
This trailer park is full of superheroes. Bob in that trailer behind me? You should see what he can do with a case of beer.
6. You have superhuman powers
Of course, the rest of the list would go down he drain if there were no superpowers involved. Without bionic skills, you could just be crazy! But these skills prove your calling. The moment you could lift your own car for regular maintenance is a startling confirmation. When you no longer have to ride the bus to school, or drive to work because you?re fast enough to run anywhere, the possibilities blew your brains out. And the time when you saw ?everything? in your friend?s room with your incredible sight range, you knew you were different. You are a werewolf.
If you know someone who?s experiencing these signs, it?s time to run! Or not, depending on how cute he is. Your call, really. If you plan to seduce a werewolf, though, make sure it?s not on the full moon. Unless you really like showing off your, err, bite marks the next day.
Kate Baray writes urban & paranormal fantasy with a romantic twist. Her latest is Defensive Magic. Check it out now!
