How might we turn a crisis into opportunity?
Photo by Andre Tan on Unsplash
Let?s admit that your angry girlfriend is the most terrifying monster in the world. They scream. They blame. They use their finger pointing to you, treating you like trash on the floor. And you can only sit alone in a corner and pray for things to end magically.
But at the end of the day, you still love her. So instead of walking away from the room, you need to find a way to handle this situation.
How should we handle an angry girlfriend?
And what if there are ways we can ride on risk, and improve the romantic relationship?
As a woman for more than 27 years, I concluded there are 5 tips that you may apply. This could be useful when your girlfriend is mad at you, sad about something you did, and even want to kill you straight away.
#1 ? Let her finish first
The very first tip is you need to let her finish her words. A woman needs to let all her emotions out by speaking, screaming, crying. Never rush to comfort her at first ? we would not appreciate that.
We woman needs to handle bad things by talking to someone, writing down somewhere, or doing something to vent out the negative emotion. Disturbing us from this process would catch yourself into the fire.
Please, stay where you are and listen. Show your patience and empathy by nodding. So we know you are in the present with us and care about it.
#2 ? Forget about logic
An angry woman has no logic. When a man makes his romantic partner angry, they tend to find excuses and use their so-called analytics mindset to shift the focus.
?It is because I have a lot of work?so that I cannot come to pick you up on time??
?I did not reply to your message because I am to focus on reading.?
?I could not meet you this weekend because I want to spend some time checking on my investment plan.?
It sounds valid in ordinary people?s minds, but definitely not to your girlfriend.
To ladies, the above statement indicate one thing ?
You Don?t Love Me Enough!
So don?t bother explaining the situation in any logical way. Don?t ever try. We would only think that you are an ass hole who doesn?t love us enough.
#3 ? Link the incident back to ?our future?
We love you talking about the future. We love you to include us in your dream and have a plan for it.
The key point here is the shared vision. You have to remind us the incident happens because you care about us, and you are working out something for us.
Let?s try to apply the above scenario.
1 ? ?It is because I have a lot of work?so that I cannot come to pick you up on time??
Say this instead:
?Baby, I am working hard so I can buy you the big house?so sorry I did not pick you up this time.?
2 ? ?I did not reply to your message because I am to focus on reading.?
Say this instead:
?I am reading a book about Time Management, so I could learn how to focus on you 100% when we are together.?
3 ? ?I could not meet you this weekend because I want to spend some time checking on my investment plan.?
Say this instead:
?I need to check on my investment options so I can make sure you will be a good life to be with me.
Talk about us. Focus on her.
Use the term ?future?, ?our?, ?marriage?, ?forever?, ?plan?.
But never lie. If we find out that you are cheating on us, we will walk away without any hesitation.
#4 ? Give her a speechless hug
This one is easy. Shut up and hug.
Creating intimacy makes a woman feel comforted. It works particularly well if you are not a good speaker.
Use your action to prove to her that you care about her.
Use your temperature to melt her heart.
Use your heartbeat to prove your words.
Studies have found out that cuddling could save a relationship.
7 Benefits of Cuddling That Also Save Relationships | Everyday Power
Often in life, the solution is in the simplest of things we do. Our relationship is no different. You may have tried?
#5 ? Do something extra for her
The above 4 steps could help your girl forgive you, but a bonus point is how you might take further steps to strengthen the relationship.
Try to do something for her without her asking.
Try this after the war is over. This is important because, during the fight, she would take your action for granted. But if you do it as a post-war action, she will be surprised and sweeten by you. She would not treat it as an apology, but the effort to show that you love her.
These are something you may try:
Wash her dish without asking.
Putting a flower at home and waiting for her to discover.
Getting her a book that she always wants.
Remember, you do this not because you are sorry for what you did. It is because you love her, and you want to show her your care and love.
Handling an angry girlfriend is tricky. But if you can tackle it well, it might be a chance for you to grow the relationship as a long-term partner. Please be sincere, be real, be you. We love you just the way you are.
Try the above tactics and let me know how it goes.
Good luck, warrior!
Julia Tsoi is a Design Strategist in tech. Passion in Design Thinking, Change and Creativity. Connect with me on LinkedIn and happy to talk about anything.