And what to do about it.
I remember once thinking ?I will never find anyone? and I was certain I would be single forever. I had built up an enormous beliefs about myself and the reasons that I would never find love. These beliefs translated into actions, and became the bedrock of my relationship experience. It was only when I had overwritten them, was I able to easily find love.
Everyone has these kinds of beliefs which results into patterns of behavior on the search for love.
If you really take a step back right now and think about what a relationship is, and why we crave it? What answers do you come up with? I?m not talking about the just the daily mundane answers.
I?m talking about the real, deep and meaningful, soul connection reasons. What answers do you find? For me it?s all about finding myself through the way we connect, communicate, the choices we make. It?s all about 2 souls helping each other complete their journey together.
Will you be single forever?
So you?re single and alone, and you just want to meet someone, and the way you feel right now is that you?ll be single forever? Just to remind you, being in a relationship isn?t the be-all and end-all of everything, but it sure is nice to have someone you to share life experiences with.
The first thing is, do not worry! With over 7 billion people on planet earth it?s inevitable that you are going to meet someone and it?s probably going to be sooner rather than later. But, I?m guessing you wished it was sooner? Well, believe it or not, it?s in your power to make that happen.
However, I?ve seen people behave in such a way that they?re maximizing their chances of being single.
If you don?t want to be single forever, these are the 5 habits you have to change as of TODAY!
It?s time to ditch absolutely any blame for the reasons you think you?re single now. Whether it?s your circumstances, your genetics, blaming men, women, etc. It?s time for that all to stop! No, not all men are out for one thing. No, your genetics causing you to be a curvy person are not stopping you from meeting someone. It has nothing to do with with any of those things.
But, if you keep blaming just about anything and everything, you?re sure to come across as much less attractive. You?re killing your own chances by showing your bitterness rather than letting the things that make you unique really stand out.
2. Undervaluing yourself
This is a massive one and cannot be emphasized enough. When we value ourselves, others will value us. Time and time again, I?ve seen people shrink themselves and wonder why they only attract the garbage out there. There?s an easy solution to this and it is to realize how much you?re worth. Then someone will pay right price for you. If you sell yourself at a bargain price, don?t be surprised if you?re treated in equal measure.
How do you value yourself and where do you begin? Start to believe in yourself. Start to believe that you?re worthy to attract the highest caliber people in your life. Don?t short change yourself. If someone is treating you badly, dis-respecting you etc, it?s clearly time to walk away as a demonstration of how much you value yourself.
3. Being self-interested
So many are in it just to see what they can get for themselves. They aren?t seeking a partner. They?re seeking a cook, a breadwinner, a perfect body etc. However, they?re not looking at themselves to see what they have to offer.
A relationship is a partnership! That means things are done in equal measure. Not just in the way of tit for tat, but in the way that is done through volition. That is, you choose to offer equal or more in the relationship to keep it thriving. Of course no relationships are perfect at this. Just so long as there is effort in striving towards it, on both sides.
If you want everything your way, you?ll be searching for someone for a very long time. In fact, I hear robot partners are going to be big in the future, perhaps that?s where you should start looking. ?
There?s a delicate balance to find in being flexible, but not being a pushover. You won?t make the right choices every time, or compromise in an amiable way. That doesn?t mean you don?t explore the options of where there is some give and take.
5. Being a stiff
Yes, dating can be challenging but don?t let it rob you of your sense of humour. I found dating so enjoyable, I almost didn?t want to meet someone. There are people who will try and make it less enjoyable for you, but do not let them! When you find the joy in dating, meeting someone becomes easy. But that means you have to make it fun!
Plan quirky dates and explore new places. Turn dating as a whole into a game, and within that turn each and every date into a game. Find a way for you and your dates to laugh at each other. Even the simple act of having a cake can become a game. (I used to play ?Cake Jenga? on my dates.)
Dating will only suck the life out of you if you let it. It comes down to a simple choice. Equally you can turn it into the one of the best times of your life and one that you will always look back on with incredibly fond memories.
So there we have it. 5 things that could potentially keep you single forever. If you don?t want to be, and want to meet someone sooner rather than later, you now know the things you need to stop doing. Is there anything else you think is holding you back from meeting someone? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Originally published at unlimitedchoice.org on January 17, 2018.