Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash
It has become common for people all over the world to marry not for love but primarily for financial security. Financial stability has pushed people, most often women, to find partners with thick pockets instead of love because they see it as their meal tickets, their way out of poverty. In their desperation, they turn to marriage for money since they have the expectations that their well-to-do husbands will pay not only for their needs, but also those of their families.
Marrying for money has become the norm in Asian countries, including the Philippines. This practice has been done in the past, but back in those days, it was much harder because communication between the Filipinas and the older foreign men was limited. They could only be pen pals or talk to each other via phone calls, which was very expensive. Because of this, back then marriages between foreigners and Filipinas were rare.
Nowadays, with the internet, emails, and social media, it has become easier for men and women alike to marry someone from the other side of the world. While some Filipino men also do it, this practice is much more common for Filipino women.
But why do the women settle for this kind of relationship where love does not play a factor?
1: They believe that this is the fastest way for them to get out of poverty.
Filipinos in general are deeply attached to their families and most of them will do anything to improve the lives of their parents and siblings, including marrying for money. Ask any Filipina why they have chosen to marry older men who are foreigners and the likely response will be because they need the money. Marring into wealthy families is an age-old practice, and Filipinas are not much different from those who see marriage as merely a business transaction.
2: They seek older men because they know that they are much more willing to be in that kind of relationship.
Nobody really dreams of spending the rest of their lives alone, and single older men are no exception. These men are still hoping to spend their lives with someone, even just as a life partner. It doesn?t matter to the men if there is no mutual affection or love; they just don?t want to be lonely. Filipinos are known to be naturally caring and affectionate people so these foreign older men are naturally inclined to seek them out for relationships.
And Filipinas seek out these older foreign men because they know that these men are willing to spend money on them.
It?s really a mutually beneficial relationship and both of them know it.
3: The men?s ages play a crucial role.
Relationships are always risky and those between Filipinas and foreign men are no exception. Sometimes, cultural differences get in the way and this may affect both parties negatively. It?s not unheard of, and most Filipinas know it, that there are instances where men are physically and mentally abusive to their partners. The women know that getting into a relationship with a foreign man is a huge gamble and to play it safe, they choose to go with older men because they have this thinking that if they have to sacrifice a lot or even get hurt, at least it won?t take that long because time is already not on their husband?s side.
4: The impression that these men are financially well-off.
Many women, especially those who have had poor educational backgrounds, have this notion that they need to marry foreigners because they have more money than Filipinos. For them, foreigners earn dollars and this means they have more wealth. After all, Filipinos unfortunately have this mindset deeply embedded in their culture that the only way for one to earn a lot of money is by going abroad. This is why these Filipinas have the impression that all foreigners are rich, and that by marrying one, they can have better lives and eventually buy whatever they want.
5: They have the belief that they will eventually learn to fall in love with their husbands.
Although most Filipinas enter relationships with older foreign men because of financial reasons, there are still those who do it out of love or in hopes of learning to love them eventually. They are women who believe that to fall in love is a choice, and that loving their husbands is something that they can learn to do in time.
It may seem unorthodox but Filipinas marrying older foreign men has become common place, although still discouraged if done mainly for financial reasons. Some still find it wrong, especially if the man is clueless that the women married them for money; it?s still taking advantage of them.
However, people cannot really blame these men and women for getting married because they are mutually benefitting ? with women being better off financially and the older foreign men being cared for. As long as nobody gets hurt. But hopefully, there will come a time that both Filipinas and these older foreign men will no longer get married for money or to ease their loneliness, but will do so because they are genuinely in love with each other.