Image courtesy of Fight the New Drug
Let?s tackle the biggest elephant in the room in our world today that no one wants to talk about: Porn.
It?s an addiction that is quietly sweeping the nation. Just as bad as any drug addiction or alcoholism but it never gets discussed.
Recently, I?ve had a few co-workers lose their jobs because of it. Anyone with an internet connection will understand that it?s becoming more rampant. Almost everywhere you look, somehow you?ll encounter it, whether randomly through a Google Photos search, searching for a YouTube video, or at the end of a blog article..
Basically, our whole way of looking at sexuality is under attack.
As a male, there are more and more triggers coming at you every day, almost every moment: the flip of a skirt, an advertisement on the side of the freeway, the pictures that the media portrays from women from Victoria Secret and Sports Illustrated, the magazine covers sitting in the grocery store checkout lines, etc.
Over the many years I?ve coached people through their Porn Addictions and also being a personal survivor of the battle myself, I?ve come across A LOT of resources. But the following 10 have made the biggest difference.
Why stop if it makes you feel good?
Of the many reasons out there, you have to find your own reason, for if you don?t have a good personal reason, then you?re not going to ever want to stop. For me, and for most, I didn?t want to be a slave anymore. I wanted to see the world rightly and have a deeper relationship with others. I wanted to actually contribute something valuable to society, not be a mindless consumer doomed to spend his days in front of a computer screen.
I wanted to be happy again, I wanted to feel the wonder I was filled with as a child. We carried on with life without this stuff before, what was stopping us now?
So, I made a choice, as with all things in our life, we have the ability to choose and to take the path less traveled.
Most of these resources come from a great Coach.Me series created by Jeff Finley called ?Quit watching Porn in 30 Days? and is a great jump start for anyone looking for a way out of the darkness.
1. Fortify Program
This is one of the BEST resources out there. It?s FREE for students because they?re the ones that don?t have the money to get quality resources. You can also pay $40 towards the cause if you have a job and pay it forward to help someone else in need.
Essentially, it?s a 6 week program filled with videos, journal activities, though-provoking readings, etc. Super good quality material and really takes you on a journey. One of the best parts is the Battle Tracker where you can record your Victories and your Losses.
2. Imaginary Men
This program is great because you hear from other men on their struggles and failures and how they?ve come to deal with it too. One of the most powerful things is to learn that you?re not alone and that it?s not you. You?re not a horrible person. Everyone deals with similar obstacles. This one costs $47 but has some really deep stories and is just a good overall journey.
3. Teal Swan?s Videos
This one starts to enter the spiritual realm. So for anyone who doesn?t believe in the possibility of masculine & feminine energies, skip this series, but for those who can feel a larger presence outside themselves, Teal Swan?s videos will help you tap into that life force and how to incorporate it into your life. This is a cross of meditation, mindfulness, and breathing exercises to help you become more aware of yourself and your bodies actual needs.
She goes on to say, ?Pornography is the portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal [often combined with shock/fear/disgust]. Porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry. It must be understood that seeking out pleasure is not wrong so it is useless to discuss the rightness or wrongness of porn. We must instead develop perspective about porn.?
In this video, she goes into depth of how porn is shaping our worldview and helpful tips on how to overcome porn addiction.
4. The Sacred Sexuality Project
Mark Queppet did a series of YouTube videos around this topic and their just a great paradigm on how we should view ourselves and our bodies and live ?a higher expression of our sexuality? while helping men turn their lives around.
He also now has an academy (?reboot camp?) which is actually pretty costly, but if you want to fully commit to something, putting some money on the line definitely will help put some skin in the game and get you on the right track.
5. Reddit?s PornFree Thread
If you?re a forum geek, then this is like the mecca for you. They have several different threads chock full of people who have different advice, so you could spend all week in here. Probably a much better place than some other sites, so you can join some of these communities and get an accountability partner to help you along the way! They also have another thread here.
6. Fight the New Drug
This is by the same folks who put the Fortify Program together but this is more about awareness and really teaching people the affects of pornography on the brain. They even have some cool swag and blog articles that really help to spread the word.
7 . The Truth, Love, and Power principle
GoldJacketLuke explains the high-level concept. This is a great way through which to view life and to create the life you want in all aspects of your life. This is just an introduction and has been passed down through many different people, but it looks like people accredit Steve Pavlina to coming up with the way this model is shown today.
8. Brick House (Comedy Sketch on People who Go Through Porn Addiction)
I don?t know why, but this was GREAT and actually really hilarious. It was just such a relief to see how well they hit the nail on the head with the problem that most of us face and so much that goes unspoken with this kind of addiction problem. I wish they would make more videos, but the few episodes they did make really hit the nail on the head and opens the doors to let people know that they?re not alone.
9. Vulnerability TED Talk
I never really watched Bren Brown before, but her talks on Vulnerability and the power of being real with people really struck a chord with me. You wonder how many people are walking around with some difficult problem and you ask, ?How are you?? and they respond, ?Fine!? but they?re really not. If we all lived in a world where we could be honest and truthful with eachother without the fear of being hurt, then maybe we wouldn?t be in this predicament in the first place.
10. Accountability Partners
7CupsOfTea and Coach.me are great resources if you?re looking for an accountability partner and you have no one close in your life to turn to, or if you just want an anonymous way to get help without letting anyone in your close circle know what you?re going through. Kinda like an Alcoholics Anonymous. Trust me, when you have someone you have to report into, it really motivates you!
BONUS: Theology of the Body ? Into the Heart by Christopher West
If anyone is of the religous type here, then I highly, highly recommend looking into John Paul II?s the Theology of the Body. But that may be a little heavy, then I recommend Christopher West?s series of videos deconstructing the book in the context of lust, love, and relationships called ?Into the Heart? to help you understand human sexuality in the context of God?s purpose for our lives.
