Why do they do it?

At one point in our lives we have all been on the receiving end of a negative person?s ?put down? artillery. Ever had an idea, shared it with someone and all they did was immediately tell you a thousand reasons why it is not good enough? Ever had a group of friends or work mates who leave you feeling bad after having a conversation with them?

People who can bring you down are everywhere. Some do it unconsciously and don?t know they are doing that to you. But the really sad part though, is that they are people who actually take pride in belittling other people and in making them feel bad about themselves.

Being put down can originate from the unlikeliest of sources. Sometimes it can even come from our close loved ones and this is when it hurts the most.

They are people who we may know that are out to bring us down and we can easily identify them. Examples are bullies, a boss who is not fond of us or a bitter ex- boy/girlfriend. And then we have people who are very polite and gracious. And yet, after talking with them, somehow you?re aware of your faults and shortcomings, your limitations, the misery or danger of everything, etc. These can be our best friends or even our family members.

You can only tell who is pulling you down by how you feel after interacting with them. Ask yourself: What was the result of my contact with them? Do I feel inspired and more able to go on and get what I want out of life? Do I feel in a worse mood because they talked about all the bad news in the paper or in their life? Did they talk about their own personal miseries that they somehow won?t do anything to solve? Answers to questions like these can be of help to you in identifying who is bringing your down or uplifting you.

But they are other times when WE can be the source of this negativity. If that is true and we know it, then WE are in the wrong and we should immediately stop it. It?s totally unacceptable to not only show such a fundamental lack of respect, but to deliver words that consistently damage another individual just so that you can feel better about yourself for a moment.

The first thing you should know is that a happy, positive, self-confident does not put others down. They may do it unconsciously once in a long time but not intentionally. Such a person will try and make you feel the same way they do, so they will try to inspire you.

People who bring you down are out to put you down so they look larger. This is a trait that is learned. Maybe someone in their life beat them down so much that the only way they can feel like they are winning is to make others feel worse than they do.

These need to make themselves feel like they?re in control or more powerful or to cover up their own insecurities. Or pulling people down for them is a defence mechanism, because they don?t know how to deal with a past trauma they experienced.

They are others though, who are not deliberately trying to do it but they are people who bring you down because you love them, and they are miserable. Hence their mood, traits and mentality are rubbed off onto you. This can also have disastrous effects on you.

Well either way people who bring you down are not happy people.

And we should know that we?re not going to change them. But we can learn to react to them in ways that protect our self-esteem as well as our sanity.

A person can?t hurt you unless you let them.

Why is it necessary to protect ourselves?

See, the tragedy is that if you?re told enough times that you?re not good enough sooner or later you?ll start to believe it, especially if the someone who?s telling you you?re not good enough is someone you care about or love.

People who bring you down do things that make progress more difficult or more painful. We are all trying to move forward in life and make progress. Happiness and success is what we all strive to achieve. Having someone tell us we are not good enough or that we can?t achieve anything makes our progress very difficult

You need to take control of your happiness. The only happiness you can count on is the kind you create with your own effort. This kind of happiness comes from the process of progress.

How should we react to their Taunts?

Remember, it?s not about you. It is about them?

What someone trying to pull you down is trying to achieve is bait you and trap you and make you angry. They are trying to pull a reaction out of you that will satisfy their hunger for victory, they want you to feel bad and their intent quite likely is to hurt you. The best thing you can do, if you can, is avoid all contact with this person. Sometimes not every problem has a solution and it would best to avoid that problem all together.

The second best thing you can do is not give them the response they want. By responding with similar put downs against them really only plays into their plan because they then have confirmation that their comments worked and you?re upset. Accept that you were put down, it wasn?t nice and it caused unpleasant feelings. But it?s a single situation and not your whole life. It does not define who you are.

A response which will throw most criticizers off is to simply say, ?Thank you for your opinion? and then just leave it at that. This ends the conversation.

If their comment is very offensive and you want to put an end to the assault on you. You could tell the person that you find their comment offensive though. Not in an angry way. Just as a statement of fact. Telling them that is a reminder to people of how powerful their words are and that they should be more aware of what they?re saying.

Sometimes people put us down and hurt us so much it can scar us for life. If you?re having problems after a massive put down, you can seek professional help and address the underlying issue. Take control of your life, avoid the negativity and pursue what makes you happy.

Let me end this with some beautiful words which may inspire you on how to deal with people who bring you down.

?Don?t let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn?t bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they?ve made you a stronger person. They?ll see the light someday. ? ~Ladybug

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