Understanding the Twin Flame Pain of Being Apart

Understanding the Twin Flame Pain of Being Apart

Easily one of the most talked-about phases of a twin flame journey is the separation phase and the pain of being apart.

This phase can bring emotional, spiritual and (sometimes) physical pain. However, most of the time we talk about the twin flame chaser going through it often overlooked is the twin flame runners perspective. One of the first things I try and get people to understand with a twin flame reading is why things happen and how important each phase is.

Not every journey will go through this stage but in my experience, I?d say it?s one of the most universal things and 99% of all twin flames go through it in the same lifetime before reaching union. Longer-term over multiple lifetimes I?d say it?s probably 100%.

Firstly, it?s important to understand that this phase almost always carries pain but there?s a reason for it. This phase can be hugely important and while I know first hand that it isn?t fun- it?s not one you can shortcut.

Image for postIn doubt if you?re on the right track? If you?ve met your twin flame? In separation and not sure why they?re acting this way? Get a twin flame reading and find out: https://twinflamez.net/custom-twin-flame-reading/

Why are there so many obstacles in the twin flame journey?

Instead of obstacles, think of it as challenges. However, the question still remains, why are there so many challenges in the twin flame journey?

If we accept the fact that we are eternal souls occupying temporal lifetimes, twin flames occupy twice as many lifetimes by design. In each lifetime, we each build up experiences, both good and bad and sometimes, lose perspective of our higher purpose. We accumulate all kinds of past injury and wounds along the way. In our most immediate life, if we awaken, those injuries and wounds come to the surface to be healed.

The realization of being a twin flame is both confusing and clarifying. It is confusing because we are taught that we are only an individual life and realizing that some other person has the same soul as you is mind blowing. At the same time, twin flames instinctually know they are twin flames and the awakening and awareness is more of a confirmation than a revelation. Meeting your twin flame is, using your awakened eyes and looking into a mirror of your soul self. A soul?s recognition of itself in another person would be much like encountering yourself on the street somewhere. To say the least, it would be shocking. Many of us wouldn?t know whether we?d want to hug or hit our other selves.

Now, with all that having been said, the challenges are both external and internal.


Let?s start with the obvious external challenges. Twin flames tend to have multiple differences, of which society tends to disapprove. Why would that be? Because the universe loathes artificial conditions to love and twin flames are often meant to be a flamethrower to those conditions to love.

What, your twin flame is decades older, oh she?s Jewish, oh she?s black, oh she?s from Australia, oh she?s wealthy, oh she?s a genius, oh, she?s a he? ?.. and you?re none of these things. The universe looks at you both, smiles and sends you an 1111, as its way of telling you to ?just deal with it?. And the universe happens to be 100% right! Who the hell ever said that love should be conditioned on your similarities?

The true external challenge is not usually within the twins themselves, but within society as a whole. One or both twins get anything from funny looks, to rampant prejudice, to outright hostility from some segments of society. Sometimes, the closest people to the twins actively try to intervene in their ?best interest?. Twin flames are a threat to the status quo and the majority of society favors consistency and tends to actively discourage twin flame pairings. Sometimes unfortunately, society is successful.


Not only do twins have to deal with the pressures of society and their own social barometers, but twin flames also have internal challenges. Much of the internal challenges are based upon confusion and vibrations in disharmony.

It is rare that both twins awaken at the same time. There are typically the spiritual twin who wakes up and the matrix twin who is unaware. I?m not sure who has the worse time trying to cope. The spiritual twin has all this raw knowledge, emotion and understanding of what is going on. Both the matrix and spiritual twin experience a love beyond description and a connection with their twin that is otherworldly. The difference is that the spiritual twin also mostly knows why it is happening. The curse of this knowledge is that it comes with a sense of powerless to do anything about it, until the matrix twin awakens on their own.

Oh, don?t get me wrong, the spiritual twin will try and have the matrix twin wake up, understand what is going on and show them how much they love them. This is often unsuccessful and creates the push/pull runner/chaser dynamic. This dynamic is fueled by fear more than anything else. Fear of not being loved and abandoned. Fear of the unknown and not being worthy of love. The challenge is to overcome fear and stop chasing. The challenge is to overcome fear and accept that you are worthy of love.

Image for post

Another challenge of the twin flame journey is the connection between the twins. There are varying levels and degrees of telepathy between twins. Telepathy is not limited to thoughts, but intuition and emotions. Chakras align and what one twin feels can be felt by the other. The spiritual twin understands it, but the matrix twin has unexplained feelings and probably thinks they are going crazy.

Image for post

Depending on the connection and interaction of the twins, the level of intensity can ebb and flow, but it?s always there. Those connections coupled with the eternal love bond, inevitably results in twins always having the other on their minds. This can be a problem if the twins do not deal with it directly as opposed to trying to get their twin off their mind. It is best for twins to simply incorporate their twin into their thoughts and be productive in their lives. As Carl Jung said, ?what we resist, not only persists, but will grow in size.? And the same is true here. The harder you try to forget and get your twin off your mind, the deeper they will be there and it could turn into an obsession. Don?t let your love turn into obsession.


Why can?t the universe just let the twins know everything all at once and give them the happily ever after already? Sometimes, it does, but the reality is that it mostly does not. And here?s the thing, with all of the baggage we accumulate and all the spiritual cobwebs we need to clear, the challenges are helpful to the journey.

Wait, what? Helpful? Yes, helpful. Think of it like this; if you had a critical injury that affected everything from your breathing to your ability to walk. The doctors need to set bones and repair nerves and give you blood transfusions. You are in pain, even though the doctor?s repair work is done, you still need to heal. Every move hurts and you are slow to move. You are bed ridden and have all kinds of medications and therapy to assist in your healing.

Now, transpose the spiritual for the physical. All things heal in the way they naturally should, your soul included. Miracles do happen, but the normal process may involve pain. Pain is always a subjective matter and you can manage it if you approach it sensibly. What I mean is there are ways to mitigate the pain of healing and the pain of separation.


Image for post

The universe exists in energy and vibrations. When you are not vibrating at the same frequency as your twin, tensions can arise. As you heal and as you become more in touch with your higher selves, your frequency of vibration increases. You walk further on your path to ascension. How do you raise your vibrations?

Remember, meditation is medication for the soul. Being honest about what has hurt you and what is limiting you is essential. Allowing your love to flow freely and without fear or limitation dissolves all kinds of ego driven and attachment clad challenges. When you practice unconditional love and appreciate your connection as a spiritual one, the typical worldly frustrations about love, can be better managed. When you practice unconditional love, you have less of an attachment to the outcome of loving your twin. Once you have no expectations, you won?t be disappointed. (Full disclosure: this is monumentally difficult to achieve.)


This is the part where you need to really pay attention. Your twin flame is not only another person, but it is also you. If you are not gentle with yourself; if you do not practice self love and compassion with yourself, you cannot do so with your twin. If you do not accept yourself, flaws and all, you will run from yourself or constantly chase the version of you which you have idealized and manifest that idealization in your twin. I have news for you; you are imperfectly perfect and so is your twin. Your twin isn?t some diety, holding a scroll somewhere on Mount Olympus. They are your soul in all its glory and gory, all its flaws and fabulousness, all its strength and weakness, shadows and light and the sooner twins accept themselves, the sooner they will accept each other.


The challenges exist to get you to the point where you can accept yourself and your twin unconditionally and love with the fire of a thousand suns, bursting into the reaches of all existence and setting the world itself, on fire with the kind of change that turns the temporal into the eternal.


No Responses

Write a response