Photo by Marco Secchi on Unsplash
I have a friend who wants to go out to the clubs and pesters me often about going with him. He?s at a place in his life where those things are attractive to him since he recently got divorced. But that isn?t me. It?s not who I am.
If I was 20 years younger, then I might go. But I don?t like to do those things now, so I say no every time. I have no problem going for a beer occasionally, hanging out together at one another?s house or going for a run, but the clubs are not me.
So if I gave in, I wouldn?t be doing myself any favors. I would be miserable the whole time and ready to go home as soon as I got there. If I gave in, I wouldn?t be myself. I would cater to his needs, not mine.
I?ve struggled most of my life with trying to be who I wanted and I?ve always tried to please others or not do anything to be judged harshly. And most of the time I would end up giving in.
I also followed society?s expectations and lived life like everyone else. But doing that made me unhappy and I realized I?ve been living a life not true to myself. And it?s taken me four and a half decades to finally realize it. I?m hoping you will realize it sooner than I have.
But I have decided I can no longer NOT be myself. Because I?ve never been happy living how others wanted me to.
You Are Unique
Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash
All of us have looked at others and wished we could be like them. We wished we could have what they have.
But you can?t be someone else. You are you. You are unique and have your own talents and experiences. You can use those talents and experiences to get what you want, but you shouldn?t sacrifice yourself to do so.
Many of us also act like someone we are not. Whether you did it to impress a love interest, your boss, or someone else, we have all not been ourselves because we believed it would get us what we wanted.
But when you are not yourself, you change. You change who you are and what you are about. You change your thoughts and beliefs and you become someone who tries to please others instead of pleasing yourself. You become someone else instead of being yourself.
Being yourself does not mean you are selfish and it doesn?t mean you don?t care about others. Being yourself means you like who you are. Being yourself means living life how you want to live it, regardless of other people?s opinions. And it means you respect yourself.
Don?t worry about what others think. You can?t control them or their thoughts.
If you like who you are, then that is all that matters. Don?t allow others to change who you are. You are being judged regardless of what you do, so being yourself makes happiness easier to obtain.
Live life on your terms, not someone else?s.
Being yourself is important because you will not be happy otherwise. Empower and love yourself.
Unless you can be a unicorn. Then be a unicorn.
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Originally published at jeffthewriter.com on March 29, 2018.