The 25 Funniest Athlete Names in Sports History

The 25 Funniest Athlete Names in Sports History

From Windass to Dickshot to Cooter to Hyman, see which hilariously named athletes made the cut.

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#25 ? Dean Windass

Fun Fact: Windass, a striker for Scarborough Athletic, creates space on the pitch with his violently smelly farts.

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#24 ? God Shammgod

Fun Fact: Shammgod only lasted 20 games in the NBA and is now a teammate of Stephon Marbury?s in China. God clearly curses those who are named in vain.

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#23 ? Uranius Johnson

Fun Fact: Uranius Johnson majored in Sport Management at Marshall, not astronomy or taints.

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#22 ? Jim Bob Cooter

Fun Fact: Jim Bob was born in Tennessee and raised by a raccoon and an empty bottle of moonshine.

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#21 ? Misty Hyman

Fun Fact: 13.7% of American women suffer from misty hyman.

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#20 ? Chubb Small

Fun Fact: Small was on the same Marshall roster with Uranius Johnson in 2005 when the Thundering Herd ran their patented LOLfense.

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#19 ? Dick Butkus

Fun Fact: A Dick Butkus is still illegal in 17 states.

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#18 ? Fair Hooker

Fun Fact: Fair Hooker?s prostitute mother was twice honored by the Better Business Bureau.

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#17 ? Harry Colon

Fun Fact: Interestingly, Harry Colon?s asshole suffers from alopecia.

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#16 ? Dick Felt

Fun Fact: Following his playing career, Dick Felt sold and marketed Dick Felt, a felt penis covering designed to prevent chafing. He quickly went bankrupt.

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#15 ? Yoshie Takeshita

Fun Fact: In Japanese, ?Yoshie Takeshita? actually means ?Diarrhea Sandwich.?

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#14 ? Steve Sharts

Fun Fact: In English, ?Steve Sharts? actually means ?Steve Has Liquidy Farts.?

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#13 ? Kyle Sackrider

Fun Fact: First thing every morning, Kyle calls his parents to thank them for not naming him Dick.

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#12 ? Dick Pole

Fun Fact: Dick Pole made it to the majors thanks to his fastball, curve and ability to make batters giggle to the point of being unable to swing.

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#11 ? Destinee Hooker

Fun Fact: Destinee?s parents hope she will not only be a hooker, but a fair hooker.

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#10 ? Dick Paradise

Fun Fact: Paradise?s eponymous autobiography, ?Dick Paradise,? has poor reviews on Amazon due to readers who felt the title was misleading and did not expect a book about minor league hockey.

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#9 ? Dick Shiner

Fun Fact: Believe it or not, Dick Shiner never missed an NFL game due to penile bruising.

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#8 ? Jack Glasscock

Fun Fact: Glasscock?s turn-of-the-century dildo factory, Captain Jack?s Glasscocks, was shut down after too many customers were injured when the glass broke.

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#7 ? DeWanna Bonner

Fun Fact: DeWanna Bonner has repeatedly turned down requests from the makers of ?JuWanna Mann? to star in a sequel.

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#6 ? Johnny Dickshot

Fun Fact: Dickshot left the majors to fight in World War II, and thankfully did not sustain a gunshot wound to the penis, because that would just be ridiculous.

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#5 ? Chubby Cox

Fun Fact: Cox was born John Arthur Cox III, but if your last name is Cox, you may as well just go for full humiliation.

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#4 ? Ivana Mandic

Fun Fact: Ivana?s twin brother is named Ihava.

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#3 ? Dick Trickle

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#2 ? Rusty Kuntz

Fun Fact: A remedy for Rusty Kuntz is a bit of Dick Trickle.

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#1 ? Lucious Pusey

Fun Fact: Everyone agrees that Lucious Pusey is better than Rusty Kuntz.

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Originally published on SportsPickle.

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