Inspired by Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash
??Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.?
? Alfred, Lord Tennyson
My instinct used to be to call bullshit on that quote. How could it possibly be better to have loved and lost than never to have loved? How could heartbreak and pain possibly be better than a sane mind and a calm heart? I used to take peace of mind over the anxiety of lost love any day.
But not anymore.
Fresh out of a relationship to which I gave my all, I can now honestly say I?d rather have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Amongst the heartbreak, I?m happy, because I dared to take the risk of love. I dared to hope, to dream, to make plans. I built a vision for my future life with someone else, someone whom I cared about and thought I would go on to love forever. Someone I kind of still love???and that might never go away.
I lost, though, and I?m still processing the new reality of saying goodbye to something I thought of as certain. It wasn?t just love that I lost, but my safe haven, my partner in crime, my future. And it hurts.
This time, however, I chose hurt over peace. I chose to invest in a relationship until it had run its course, and I don?t regret it. I haven?t given up on finding lasting love, even though the love I thought would last is over. I?m happy to have tried, to have allowed myself to be vulnerable, to have given my heart license to express itself to its maximum.
I have loved and lost, and for the first time, I think that?s better than never to have loved at all.