Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash
Winter sun breaks through the branches of the trees in my backyard. I haven?t heard from her in 24 hours and it hurts. I am helpless to stop this feeling filling up my senses. This loss breaks like waves against my soul, wearing it down, like rock into salt.
You?ve been here, haven?t you? Whether it?s a break-up or a bad case of unrequited love, many of us end up in situations where we love someone who seems incapable of loving us back.
What can we do when we?re in such an terrible state?
We all know one answer to that question: time heals. It?s true even when we feel like in the present moment we?re going to collapse from the pain. That?s why we have to help time along, help it heal us faster, and get us back in harmony with life.
Deep down we all want to live in harmony with life. What I mean by that is this: We all want to be connected with who we are as people while also living in harmony with others, especially those we feel close to. When we?re hurt over another person, we lose sight of this harmony and start to wonder if it ever existed at all.
It does exist. Hopefully these tips can help you find it again.
Remove Reminders of Them From Your Life
This may not always be possible, especially if we?re going through a divorce or constantly see this person at work or school. All we can do is remove what reminders we can: pictures of them, notes or texts they sent you, any links over social media or email. Delete their phone number if you have to. If you have to see them, try to keep them at a distance.
Nothing hurts more than seeing a picture of them smiling in front of some beautiful landscape when you should be concentrating on other things. I say this because I?ve been there, fawning over her Instagram as I gushed over how beautiful she looked. Don?t do this to yourself.
Practice Gratitude and Affirmations
I know that it?s the hardest thing to do, especially when you?re grieving. Maybe you?ll have to fake it for days, weeks, or months, but gratitude is a practice that will help put your life in perspective.
Write down the things you?re thankful for every morning and repeat them to yourself in front of the mirror. Carry the list around with you and practice gratitude throughout the day. You can also write down things you are going to let go of and things you?ll focus on for the day.
This could look something like: ?I let go of my attachment to this person? or ?I?m going to focus on eating healthy today.?
Don?t let those feelings build up inside. Talk to someone about them. No matter if this is unrequited love or the demise of a long relationship, letting others know how you?re feeling can help you process your relationships.
People can?t take away the pain you feel about this one-sided love, but they can empathize with you and offer you support.
If you really need to talk to the other person about your feelings, then that may be the right thing to do. It?s incredibly scary and you probably won?t get the response you?re looking for, but talking to them about it may offer some closure and help you move on.
Calmly tell them about your feelings and let me them tell you about theirs. Every situation is unique, but you may find out something that will help you finally release your hope of them ever returning your feelings.
And remember, stay strong. You?re worth it.
Also, a quick note.
There?s a shirt being sold on Everpress where 50% of the profits will go towards Australian Wildfire Relief efforts.
It?s also a cool little shirt. Check it out below!