Despite the struggle, the jiggle, and the bounce
Photo by Lusa Schetinger on Unsplash
I love having large breasts, even though fun bags aren?t always ? fun.
Don?t get me wrong. Small breasts are ah-MAY-zing, and I would be absolutely delighted to own a pair of tiny little rosebuds that barely raise a bump in the front of my favorite sweater, but those weren?t the cards I was dealt.
Although I will be the first to complain about mismatched bikinis, impossible-to-fit bralettes, industrial-strength bra straps, unwanted attention, and moist flesh, there are just as many reasons to love my economy-size breasts.
Buying a bikini in the correct size is a challenge, but it?s worth the effort. The right bikini makes me feel invincible on the beach, even if it means scouring through mismatched separates at Walmart until I score the XXL top that goes with the medium bottoms I found on the bottom rack.
My last bikini consisted of tangerine bottoms adorned with hanging chains and tiny plastic seashells, paired with a plain brown bikini top with thick straps and padded cups that resembled a sports bra. The brown and orange combo looks better with a tan than it does on the hanger.
Many smaller breasted ladies face the same challenge ? only in reverse. When trying to buy a bikini that?s sold as a set, a perfect top means a pair of bikini bottoms that won?t slide past their hips while the best-fitting bottoms are paired with a top that could double as a beach bag.
There?s nothing easy about bikini shopping no matter the size. So I might as well have fun with it. I can?t wait to go shopping this year, and I won?t even care if I have to mix colors or prints. All the better to be seen, my dear.
Bralettes may not be an option when I can barely squeeze my ample breasts into a size DD, but my flatter-chested friends assure me that they would gladly exchange the ability to wear lace on a string for a pair of breasts that fill out tank tops and lingerie near to bursting. Everyone wants what they don?t have.
Until recently, I fit only into the largest size bra available at Victoria?s Secret. Now that they?ve begun carrying larger sizes, I?ve switched brands. Like the right bikini top, the perfect bra has straps that are thick enough to handle the weight and heft of a pair of bountiful breasts. Pretty prints and details like ribbons and lace are a bonus.
If I had a nickel for every time another woman told me she would gladly trade her ability to go braless for my effortless jiggle and bounce, I?d have a lot of nickels.
Do you know what the opposite of unwanted attention is? Wanted attention. There?s something about a well-endowed woman and a plunging neckline that tends to attract attention, and if I?m trying to stand out, then I know exactly which top to wear.
One of my favorite things about living with large breasts is having the ability to flaunt them if I want to. Why do you think so many busty brides opt for cleavage-baring or strapless wedding gowns? It certainly isn?t because we?re trying to hide behind yards of taffeta and lace.
Some people are attracted to muscular, athletic builds, and others are attracted to curvier women. I like to think I?m somewhere in between ? an hourglass figure with more sand above than below. I have massive breasts, but I love to do squats. I may be top-heavy, but I can kick down your door.
If I hug you, I know you?re going to feel it.
