It is not like in the movies.
Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash
Books and movies have long perpetuated the idea that there?s this one single person who?s destined to be with you forever.
This idea doesn?t always seem very realistic and the concept of soulmates can be a polarizing one, especially because everyone has its own definition.
But if you have a not-so-strict definition of the term soulmate ? someone who you know instinctively, who gives you a sense of peace yet allows you to grow as a person ? things can be more down-to-earth.
Although I think that books and movies can create toxic expectations of love and romance, I also believe that, if we?re lucky enough, we may come across something truly special. I did ? and it is beautiful.
I had always been a romantic and sensitive person, until I got my heart broken for the first time. Then, I started numbing myself with alcohol and cigarettes, and I shielded my heart so I would never love again.
After several years of self-sabotaging, I finally worked up the nerve and started my healing journey. It was incredibly difficult, as I was forced to face my deepest wounds ? but without it, I would have never found the incredible person I am with now.
Now, I am fully in touch with my sensitive side again. It was not like that in the beginning of our relationship, as I still had to deal with some insecurities, but we?ve both been growing slowly and steadily ? as a couple and as individuals.
I learned a few things along the way, and I feel like I?m constantly expanding my outlook on life and love. Here are some signs and traits I?ve noticed, that will help you recognize a soulmate connection.
1. You?re comfortable being vulnerable around them.
You know those soft places you keep hidden from everyone else? With your soulmate, there?s no hiding.
You realize you?ve found true love when you feel comfortable sharing your fears and insecurities. You can?t help it ? there?s a sense of comfort and familiarity that you?ve never experienced before. Nothing is too strange or too emotional to talk about, and you let your true colors show without fear of judgment.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit consumed by self-doubt and shared it with my partner. He said everything I needed to hear and reassured me about how much he loved me. I could tell how much he appreciated how open I was with him.
In my previous relationships, this would have never happened. But with him, it just feels right.
2. You share an amazing physical chemistry.
Typically, soulmate connections have lots of touching. You share an undeniable attraction and it feels amazing when you touch each other.
?We have the urge to touch each other as we speak, maybe a light tap on the leg, an arm around the shoulder, or even offering to move hair out of the other?s face.?
Kash and Susan, in 4 Signs Of Soulmate Physical Chemistry
3. You feel calm, at ease.
The relationship just flows and it gives you a sense of inner calm. You don?t feel insecure, nor do you worry about saying or doing something that will turn your partner off.
Sure, insecurities will come up ?you?re human after all? but deep, deep down you know they?re not rational.
?You feel confident that your partner is with you for the long haul. No matter what happens in your lives, you both agree that you are teammates and in it together. Your inner voice tells you that you are in a healthy relationship. You trust each other, feel confident and comfortable around each other and feel safe discussing challenging topics in a mature way.?
Tracey Steinberg, author of Flirt For Fun & Meet The One
4. You handle conflict well.
Fights and disagreements are inevitable. When two people spend a lot of time together, they are bound to disagree from time to time.
The difference is, with your soulmate, there?s no blaming or yelling. You listen and pay attention to what the other person has to say, because you genuinely care about them and their feelings. You have your differences, but you?re on the same page where it really matters.
?They stay close when you confide, give you their full attention and move in to answer to your needs, touching your hand when you are a little unsure, beaming and hugging you when you are glad, and tenderly comforting you when you are in pain.?
Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Love Sense
5. You know it in your gut.
The saying ?when you know, you know? couldn?t be truer when it comes to a soulmate connection.
Trusting your gut feeling can feel like a leap of faith. But you can?t help it, because suddenly, everything makes sense.
Now you understand why certain things happened. It feels like all the hurt you experienced was serving the purpose of forcing you to learn certain lessons, in order for you to run into this amazing relationship.
6. You communicate without speaking.
With your soulmate, you don?t have to say a single word: your hearts speak to each other.
?One may finish the other?s sentences, they may pick up the phone to call each other simultaneously, or feel like they simply can?t be without their partner.?
Dr. Carmen Harra, clinical psychologist
A soulmate is someone who just gets you. You connect on an emotional, physical and spiritual level.
This doesn?t mean that you won?t have to work on your relationship ? because you will. No matter how amazing and meaningful your connection is, you both still have to keep choosing each other, every day.
The difference is, you just know you?re meant to be together regardless of the obstacles you may face. You face the world as one and no one can ever break that bond.
You don?t have to change a thing ? a soulmate will see you and love you for who you truly are. They?ll see you at your worst and love you anyway.
Believe me, you don?t even need to read articles like this one.
You?ll know. I promise.
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