Last week in a moment of frustration, I wondered WHY I was doing what I was doing because it just doesn?t seem to pay to work hard, have standards of excellence, and not be mediocre.
We are in a time where excellence is shunned because everyone can?t be excellent so we celebrate the mediocre (or worse) and those who don?t do anything meaningful.
When people decide they want more they are often told that they are elitist, believe in respectability politics, or told they will miss out because they are setting the bar too high.
It is hard not to start to believe this is true when you?re holding on to your standards and don?t seem to be getting anywhere, but yet you look on social media and people are bragging about what they?ve got going on and you start to wonder if something is wrong with you because you want more.
NOTE: I say it all the time but most of what we see on social media isn?t always an accurate portrayal of real life. I?ve seen so many perfect relationships, careers, lifestyles, kids, etc. turn out to be nothing but lies in the long run OR it?s a gross over exaggeration of the truth ? so we shouldn?t base our ideals off of what?s going on with social media.
I attend seminars, workshops, and read personal development books but this is an area that I don?t believe is talked about nearly enough. Here are 5 things that will actually happen when you decide you want more.
You?ll have to decide if what you want is what YOU really want AND you will need to decide if it is worth it.
My first question to myself or anybody else is: what do you REALLY want?
I believe there are always two types of answers to that question.
The Get By option: it?s not what you REALLY want but it will do for the moment. It does its job in the moment, it makes you feel good, and like you?re doing something but it?s not really what you want.
It?s a good price NOW but it will cost you more in the end because it?s just enough to get you by. (I look at it like continuing to buy cheap earphones. Costs less now but you would have done better buying a good pair instead of wasting more money on the cheap stuff).
The BETTER option: this is the better option and it is is what you REALLY want. It?s what will cost more up front but will pay off in the long run.
In my moment of frustration, I asked myself if I wanted the Get By option that will make me feel good in the short term but ending up costing me long term.
NOPE, my values dictate that I want MORE and I want BETTER so I had to suck it up buttercup and recommit myself to my values. I believe it will all be worth it and the odds are definitely in my favor.
You?ll have to drop people who aren?t going anywhere and you can?t feel bad about it
Years ago I heard success coach Chalene Johnson say that there is no rule that says you have to hang on to the same people you?ve known your whole life.
She is right. If there are people in your life that have been going nowhere in life for the past few years, then you should move on.
These people will be a hindrance to you. They either won?t get your lifestyle and will want you to do what you used to do which may not be where you?re going now or you?ll find out that hanging out with these people is a time waster because you literally have nothing in common anymore.
I prefer to spend my time with people who are critical thinkers, focused on making their lives better, and making an impact in the world. It?s the direction my life is going and hanging out with people who aren?t going that way would be a waste of my time which is unacceptable.
I should also say that you should stay away from people who only make you feel good but aren?t holding you accountable and encouraging you to do better. These people are manipulative and are using you for their own selfish reasons whether it is income or pleasure. The coaches I work with affirm me but they also hold me accountable to take action in the areas I SAY that I want to improve upon.
If someone REALLY cares about you, then they will make it a POINT to encourage you to want MORE out of your life, hold you accountable to take action, and support your growth Someone who just tells you how great you are is blowing smoke up your behind and will not help you grow. There should be affirmation but also accountability to improve and grow.
You?ll have to come to terms that your life won?t look like everyone else?s.
One of the main reasons you will want to give up is because your life will be so different from what is considered NORMAL.
Wait ? isn?t that what we want?
Yes, it is but it can be tempting to want to follow the masses or believe that something is wrong with you because what you are doing is SO different than what is perceived as normal. However, you need to ask yourself again what is it that you want? Do you want to be normal and like everyone else or Do you want more?
I will not lie ? if you don?t want the same old boring and mundane existence as everyone else, then it CAN be frustrating to look around and realize that your life is nowhere near normal.
You?ll have to ask yourself if you want normal or if you want more.
Do you want to be trapped in a life that looks normal but isn?t what you REALLY wanted?
One of the saddest realities are people who are given a life that they never LIVED but rather existed in because they wanted to be normal or please others.
You will disappoint people
Years ago I made the best decision of my life. It was a decision that led me towards believing a Limitless Life was possible without the oppression of a belief system that was stifling and even worse had terrible results and outcomes.
It disappointed people but I don?t regret it for one moment because even from a young age I knew I wanted MORE and I did not want to end up like what I was witnessing.
The disappointment was hard at first and some tried to make me feel guilty but when I look at where I am now, my only regret is that I didn?t do it sooner.
When you want more you will disappoint some people and you?ll have to ask yourself if you want to LIVE YOUR LIFE or live someone else?s expectations of your life.
Remember YOU are going to have to be the one to live the consequences of that choice, not the people who you?re trying to please. They will likely criticize you either way. I would rather be criticized for living my life than living a life I never wanted.
I also think sometimes people who are so disappointed may be envious that you?re doing what they wished they had the courage to do. What?s so sad is that they CAN do it, if they just would stop believing they CAN?T.
You will inspire others to want more
This is what it comes down to for me. For every person I?ve disappointed, I?m sure I?ve inspired 2 more to want MORE as well and see that it CAN happen.
This is my mission and calling to inspire others to want MORE. We don?t need to be trapped in limited lives and do what we?ve always done.
49ers great Bubba Parris gave a message once that I never forgot. He said ?
?Your history is not your destiny?. ? Bubba Parris
My moment of frustration was brief once I reminded myself of what I actually wanted and it most certainly is not the GET BY OPTION.
May the Odds continue to be ever in my favor.
I have declared the year of 2017 as a year of Excitement and Adventure. Continue to follow me and see what adventures and excitement are happening along with lessons along the way.
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