Jokes about babies, for babies, by a big baby
photo by Valeria Zoncoll / Unsplash
by Jessica Delfino
Joke 1: Why did the infant go on a diet?She wanted to lose her baby fat
Joke 2: How did the baby almost get her and her mom kicked out of the crowded theater?She yelled ?pacifire?
Joke 3:How many infants does it take to screw in a light bulb?One, he just points at it and cries until his caregiver does it for him
Joke 4:What social media app helps babies fall asleep by playing long-winded, monotonous conversations?Napchat
Joke 5:Where can babies post status updates about how they?re feeling?Babyfacebook
Joke 6:Which app can babies use to see thousands of photos of people who want to buy them toys?Instagrandma
Joke 7:What social media site is for babies who want to go on playdates?Tindergarden
Joke 8:When do toddlers gamble? Every time they do their alphabets
Joke 9:Which Beastie Boy do most babies like the best?A+D rock
Joke 10:Mom: You?re growing up now, you don?t need a bottle all the time.Toddler: I could say the same to you, lady.
Joke 11:What did the baby in a band play?A guitar hooked up to a waaah! waaah! pedal
Joke 12:What do you call a group of yuppy trust fund 3 year old?Todd-lers
Joke 13:What Led Zeppelin album do most babies love best?Infant Through The Out Door
Joke 14:What candy bar do most infants prefer? Baby Ruth
Joke 15:What rapper can babies not get enough of?Childish Gambino
Joke 16:What do you call a very young comedian?A kidder
Joke 17:What kind of pooch do babies love most?Toy
Joke 18: Why did the know-it-all large twins agree to be born head first? They were too big for their breeches
Joke 19: Why did the mom demand a paycheck from the hospital?To compensate her for her labor
Joke 20:What did the baby say to the lady holding her upon being born?Postpardon me, but are you my mom?
Joke 21: What do you call an army full of babies?An infantry
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