21 Baby Jokes

21 Baby Jokes

Jokes about babies, for babies, by a big baby

Image for postphoto by Valeria Zoncoll / Unsplash

by Jessica Delfino

Joke 1: Why did the infant go on a diet?She wanted to lose her baby fat

Joke 2: How did the baby almost get her and her mom kicked out of the crowded theater?She yelled ?pacifire?

Joke 3:How many infants does it take to screw in a light bulb?One, he just points at it and cries until his caregiver does it for him

Joke 4:What social media app helps babies fall asleep by playing long-winded, monotonous conversations?Napchat

Joke 5:Where can babies post status updates about how they?re feeling?Babyfacebook

Joke 6:Which app can babies use to see thousands of photos of people who want to buy them toys?Instagrandma

Joke 7:What social media site is for babies who want to go on playdates?Tindergarden

Joke 8:When do toddlers gamble? Every time they do their alphabets

Joke 9:Which Beastie Boy do most babies like the best?A+D rock

Joke 10:Mom: You?re growing up now, you don?t need a bottle all the time.Toddler: I could say the same to you, lady.

Joke 11:What did the baby in a band play?A guitar hooked up to a waaah! waaah! pedal

Joke 12:What do you call a group of yuppy trust fund 3 year old?Todd-lers

Joke 13:What Led Zeppelin album do most babies love best?Infant Through The Out Door

Joke 14:What candy bar do most infants prefer? Baby Ruth

Joke 15:What rapper can babies not get enough of?Childish Gambino

Joke 16:What do you call a very young comedian?A kidder

Joke 17:What kind of pooch do babies love most?Toy

Joke 18: Why did the know-it-all large twins agree to be born head first? They were too big for their breeches

Joke 19: Why did the mom demand a paycheck from the hospital?To compensate her for her labor

Joke 20:What did the baby say to the lady holding her upon being born?Postpardon me, but are you my mom?

Joke 21: What do you call an army full of babies?An infantry

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