Why not celebrate sex year-round? All the Sexolidays in one place.
Photo by Manasvita S on Unsplash
Is Valentine?s Day the only ?sex? holiday? Not even close! Enjoy this list of all the sex-positive days on the calendar.
?Am I supposed to eat the cake while you eat me out??
My wife is asking the hard questions. I tell her yes, let?s see how much bliss one human being is capable of having at the same time.
On April 14 this year, the Twitterverse told me that my wife and I should be celebrating ?Cake and Cunnilingus Day.? So we did. Then I learned this holiday was a response to another sex-related holiday: ?Steak and Blowjob Day.?
I wondered, how many other sex-positive national or international holidays might there be? Enough to keep us all busy year-round?
Behold! I present to you my findings:
The Max Bliss Sex-Positive Calendar
January
- Jan. 1: New Year?s Day: After the traditional kiss at midnight, why not take it from there to get your new year off to the best possible start? #1 night each year for sexy parties. We may have ancient Rome to thank for our New Year?s kiss (and more), specifically Saturnalia.
- Jan. 13: Shower Together Day ? Clean and environmentally beneficial, right? Some call it ?Sex in the Shower Day.?
- Jan 15: Fetish Day ? Enjoy all the non-vanilla yummy stuff that gets you off. BDSM, toys, costumes, feet, it is all fair game on Jan. 15. There is even a crazy quiz you can take to help you identify your favorite fetish.
February
- Feb. 7: Work Naked Day ? Created to emphasize the comfort in working from home, but now that so many of us are working from home, maybe it is time to take this holiday more literally.
- Feb. 14: Valentine?s Day ? Still the #1 holiday for romance and sex. And safe sex ? the entire week has been deemed National Condom Week.
March
- Mar. 3: Threesome Day ? The idea to celebrate threesomes on a given day bounces around the Internet, but which day remains in dispute. 3/3 is fitting.
- Mar. 14: Steak and Blowjob Day ? This purports to repay the effort that went into Valentine?s Day minus all the commercialization. My guess is that some guy just wanted a steak and a blowjob, went to great lengths to sell it, and we all owe that guy a debt of gratitude.
April
- Apr. 14: Cake and Cunnilingus Day ? Why do cocks get all the fun? Not to be outdone by Steak & BJ Day, a month later we now focus on pussies. And cake! Ideally, both participants eat at the same time.
- Apr. 16: National Horny Day ? According to Vanity Fair, we are going through a Horniness Revolution. And we already have a day for it. The Urban Dictionary says that on this day, the horny among us can ?ask anyone for any sexual content (nudes) and/or actions.?
- Apr. 18: Anal Sex Day ? In case you didn?t know, comedian Jim Jeffries is dirty. And, it turns out, a trend-setter. I won?t go as far as Kara Crabb of Vice and proclaim that girls should only have anal sex, but at a minimum, variety is the spice of life.
- Apr. 24: Lingerie Day ? Wear something nice, or, if you are crafty, make your own slutty underwear.
May
- May is Masturbation Month. If you must limit yourself to one day (and why would you?), Wikipedia says it is May 28. This masturbation holiday began in 1995 after Surgeon General Joyce Elders was fired for suggesting that masturbation be included in the sex education curriculum. Masturbation Day was the brainchild of vibrator seller Good Vibrations ? sounds a little self-serving.
- May 1: May Day ? A famous pagan rite of spring and, for many, it might just be the original sex party celebrating fertility. It is also No Pants Day, where people go pantless in public and act like that is the new normal.
- May 5: Make Out Day ? aka ?The Big Smooch.? It is also Cinco de Mayo; might free-flowing tequila have something to do with the creation of this holiday?
- May 8: Outdoor Intercourse Day ? Take advantage of better weather. It?s a day to get out into the great outdoors and do the nasty. But if you are a Jonathan Coulton fan, you might start a little earlier (??Cause it?s the first of May, first of May, Outdoor fucking starts today?).
- May 14: Online Romance Day dates back to 1999. Did we even have ?online? back then? Apparently we did, and we were already getting jiggy with it.
June
- June is LGBTQ Pride Month.
- June 2: Sex Workers Day ? A day to celebrate those who give all year long and to ensure sex workers are supported and not exploited or unfairly criminalized.
- June 9: 69 Day (aka Sex Day or Fuck Day) ? Of course 6/9 is a sex holiday. May you and your partner enjoy it equally.
- June 12: Eat Ass Day ? People seem hungry for a day to celebrate anilingus but have not reached a consensus as to when. If you enjoy ass, just not that much, you will have to wait for Oct. 17.
- June 14: Nudity Day ? Being nude has many benefits, and here is a day for you to enjoy all of them.
- June 20: National Public Display of Affection Day ? Psychology Today put it best: ?celebrate the very human impulse to grope, fondle, and tongue-kiss one another in the company of mildly disgusted strangers.?
- June 21: World Kamasutra Day ? June 21 is the longest day of the year. How many sexual positions can you enjoy? Shouldn?t this be a month?
- June 22: No Panty Day ? Twitter loves this one, and really, who can blame it? Enjoy the feeling of freedom that comes with going commando.
July
- July 4: Independence Day ? Are you horny for America, or just horny? Either way, the 4th is a time to celebrate your freedom. Maybe outdoors.
- July 6: Kissing Day ? Did you know that kissing involves using 34 of your 42 facial muscles? Time to give them a workout. Pucker up!
- July 21: Handjob Day ? People say Japan is responsible for this one. Domo arigato, Japan!
- July 24: BDSM Day ? Since 2003, this has been a day to celebrate BDSM. What exactly are the B, D, S & M being celebrated? In modern parlance, some of the letters do double-duty, as the term today generally refers to bondage & discipline, dominance & submission, and sadism & masochism.
- July 31: National Orgasm Day ? Orgasms relieve stress, reduce heart disease, and help you live longer. We should have more of them!
August
- August is Romance Awareness Month ? Intimacy is sexy, and this is the month to get down and romantic, and maybe engage in some fun sexting with your partner throughout the month.
- Aug. 5: National Underwear Day ? A day to mention your unmentionables, and enjoy them.
- Aug. 13: International Swingers Day ? If you have let this much of the year go by without joining an orgy, this could be the day.
- Aug. 23: Go Topless Day ? Why is it ok for men to go topless, but not women? Maybe it should even be preferred.
September
- September is Pleasure Your Mate Month ? Emphasis on the word ?pleasure.? If you and your mate didn?t connect enough in August, here is your second chance.
- Sept. 4: World Sexual Health Day ? Time to have those frank conversations about sex and sexuality, and maybe do something about it.
- Sept. 6: European Sex Day ? For the same reason American?s find June 9 appropriate, at least some Europeans, where they write the day before the month, use 6 September (6/9) as their sex day.
- Sep. 23: Bisexuality Day ? If you are bisexual, or if you just find bisexuality sexy, this is a day for you.
- Sep. 26: Love Note Day ? Or step it up a notch and write your lover some personalized erotica.
October
- Oct. 1: Massage Day ? If you are a tactile person, this is your month. Oct. 1 kicks off Pro-Touch Awareness Month. Anyone up for a happy ending?
- Oct. 6: Kink Day ? How is this different than Fetish Day? It?s later in the year! Kink describes anything sexually arousing that is out of the norm, whereas a fetish may be required to enjoy sex. As holidays go, this is another day to enjoy all your unconventional desires.
- Oct. 17: Ass Day ? Don?t let yourself fall behind on this holiday, or maybe do.
- Oct. 21: International Fisting Day ? Possibly the most specific and extreme day to make this list, its proponents encourage people to ?celebrate this beloved and controversial sex act.?
- Oct. 31: Halloween ? If you are not getting freaky on Halloween, you are doing it wrong.
November
- Nov. 4: Sex Toy Day ? Time to play with your most fun toys. Is it a coincidence that this falls at around the same time as elections? After a trip to the ballot box, a little toy-enhanced playtime might be just what you need.
- Nov. 23: Polyamory Day ? Thanks to Canada, we have an official day to celebrate these ?more than two? relationships.
- Saturday After Thanksgiving: Spanksgiving ? Spanking is fun and sexy, and there are even classes on how to do it right.
December
- Dec. 22: Global Orgasm Day ? Coinciding with the winter solstice, its time to orgasm? for peace! Organizers claim, ?The mission of the Global Orgasm is to effect change in the energy field of the Earth through input of the largest possible surge of human energy.? Whatever gets you there.
- Dec. 31: New Years? Eve ? End the year (or begin the new year) with a bang. Technically traditional has us wait for the new year to kiss (and more), which is Jan. 1, so consider Dec. 31 foreplay. Leading to the ball drop, New Years? Eve is the year?s best tease. Ten? nine? eight?
Did I miss one you know about? Email me at [email protected]. If I can confirm, I will add it to the calendar. Thanks.
