Tales from the Tail — Is Shit on Your Dick a Deal Breaker?

Tales from the Tail — Is Shit on Your Dick a Deal Breaker?

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Client?s Tale.

Friends can shit-talk, right? Not so fast.

I am a top by trade and long for anal. I am not against a long-term partnership by any means, but an open world is my destiny. I have my regulars and everyone titillates me differently. I would totally hate to give up all of these sexual freedoms. While I am totally into all of them, it wouldn?t be fair for me to say I haven?t developed a couple favorites? Is that so bad?

The man I am totally into is an amazing bottom. His body is un-fucking-believable and being behind him is such a pleasure. Butt recently, it has been a challenge. The foreplay is great. The kissing, the sucking, and the licking all over. I could do that for hours. But when we dive into anal (pun intended), I get this horrific aroma of, well, shit. It has happened several times recently and right away my throbbing cock goes limp. I feel terrible, but I simply lose any mojo that was built up during foreplay.

It happened once and I said to myself, ?It?s fine ? shit happens? (sorry, the puns are unavoidable here). The second time it happened, I was like, ?OK? that?s two strikes. Third one and he?s gone.? I know, I know. I?m sure you?re saying, ?Just tell him already!? But that?s an awkward conversation to have. And why do I need to be the one to tell him? Am I fucked up to want a tidy hole for the taking? Are others OK with shit being present? Well, fuck me, when it happened a third time. Same ol? shit.

Let me be clear ? I?m not trying to bottom-shame. I just can?t take this shit anymore. I finally mustered enough courage to open up on this crappy situation. He took it well and we spoke for a bit on the dilemma. I gave him some resources on the subject ? especially a new company I see in my Instagram feed called Future Method that not only has an amazing product for anal cleaning, but also provides amazing education to boot. From here, I will let him figure the rest out.

Plot twist ? he basically told me to fuck off. He said that I needed to take him as he was. Sometimes he?s be as clean as a whistle and sometimes not. It?s his hole and I need to accept that. Wow. Do you believe the balls of this guy? I mean, I give him props for giving it to me straight and I wish I could have let it go, but I just can?t handle any surprises upon entry.

Needless to say, we are no longer fuck buddies. Can you blame me or am I a total asshole?

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My Discussion.

Over and over again in the bottoming world, there are significant stigmas and pressures associated with being ?dirty? within our community. The amount of shaming is unbelievable. And as an ass surgeon, I am not only forced to see it, but also, sometimes, regardless of my mouth-breathing, I smell it. Having developed several ways to compensate for any unwanted residual golden nuggets, I do think sexually ? for all of us ? it raises the question: is it a warranted deal breaker? I am beyond curious to panel our followers on this shitty topic. Head over to our Instagram Story to share your opinion.

Sadly, this client?s tale is super common and everyone asks me what?s the best way to prep for bottoming. Unfortunately, the answer is that it?s multifactorial. I believe the first thing you should do is determine what your definition of ?clean? is and then what you?ll be embarking on that day/night. Is it external play only (like rimming and rubbing), routine anal (fingering or cock-in-ass), or bigger and deeper play (like fisting)? From there, we can figure out the appropriate protocol to provide the desired effect.

Next ? it?s not just stick a hose in your ass and that?s that. It starts with your diet and fiber intake. It?s also factoring in exercise and creating a defecation plan that becomes regimented, just like any animal on this planet. Once your GI health has been supported, then we can get into appropriately cleaning the anal canal.

This was the impetus for me forming a company called Future Method. I realized through seeing client after client with injuries or STDs that actually stem from their bottoming prep and then can lead to the trauma of sex and any of its possible repercussions. So we looked at what the standard cleaning regimens were and found that many people use water with large refillable douche bulbs or a shower hose. Then, we analyzed whether it was the actual liquid or the delivery mechanism. We found that it was actually both that cause issues. The water basically strips the protective lining of the ass, exposing the underlying cells to injury. Then we fuck and we?re already irritated before we?ve gotten pounded. To recap:

  1. It?s not the right liquid (any type of water, regardless if it?s tap or filtered)
  2. Improper techniques of delivering that liquid ? too large of volumes from a big bulb or uncontrolled flows of the shower hose.

Future Method, over the past two years and through tremendous amounts of science, addressed all of these improper techniques and finally developed not only a solution to remedy any potential issues, but also provided a proper method for its delivery (that in and of itself is a better routine for diminishing any negative consequences).

Now, back to my client?s shitty situation. I, too, am repulsed by shit. I?m not going to lie. I don?t wanna see it. I don?t wanna smell it. And I definitely don?t wanna fuck it. However, I?m also a decent human being and understand that sometimes things happen. It?s unreasonable to put so much pressure on people to guarantee that their asses will be porno level spotless at all times. And it?s even worse to shame partners who may not be ready 100% of the time.

What would you do if you were the top in this week?s tale?

Don?t forget to stay in touch on Instagram: me and Bespoke Surgical.

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