Let’s quit shaming women for having perfectly human bodies.
Photo by Mihai Stefan on Unsplash
?Aren?t you worried about what nursing will do to your breasts??
When I was pregnant, it surprised me how many women thought that I should worry about my boobs getting too saggy. Several other moms told me that breastfeeding had completely ruined their own breasts.
?I?m not really worried about it,? I always replied.
My daughter is now 5 years old and we wound up breastfeeding for over 2 years. Sure, my breasts got larger with the pregnancy. And then I also got fatter.
But the last thing that was ever on my mind was the idea that my breasts are somehow destroyed from using them for breastfeeding. I mean, that?s just one of the functions they?re made for, right?
It?s funny, but I?ve never actually understood the jokes and derision surrounding droopy or supposedly sagging breasts. Even as a young woman, the complaint seemed so silly to me.
It?s about as bad as complaining that old people (or our parents) still have sex. Of course they do.
Why should a woman feel less beautiful just because her breasts aren?t ?perky?? And what the hell does perky even mean?
Back in grade school, when I watched documentaries about women in other cultures around the world, I couldn?t help but notice that ?perky and perfect? wasn?t exactly the norm.
A lot of people expect way too much from our humble mammary glands, in my opinion.
I don?t think my breasts have ever been perky.
Breasts come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, but I have never cared too much about mine fitting into some sort of social standard. It matters more to me that I?m comfortable and that I like the way they look.
Frankly, I think my breasts have always been droopy because they?re more pendulum-shaped than perfectly round. More relaxed than perky per se, but I don?t see the big deal about that.
As it turns out, there are many different shapes of breasts and they?re all perfectly natural.
These Are The 12 Most Common Breast Shapes
The archetypal breast ? round and full with a small point at the nipple ? is considered the ?standard? for breast type?
www.healthline.com
None of my partners have ever complained about my breasts being too large or too small. They have never mentioned that they?re too saggy.
Of course, if a partner ever did complain about my breasts not being perky enough I?d have to liken the issue to a penis that isn?t ?perfect? because I don?t place unrealistic expectations upon their body.
Body parts are, well, body parts. Not personal accomplishments.
The one thing men do say about my breasts is that my nipples are very big.
And that?s true. Both my nipples and areolas are much larger than most folks might expect. I had long suspected my nipples might seem unusual to anyone expecting some specific standard, but again, diversity in nipple types is another perfectly natural occurrence.
When I gave birth to my daughter and got fitted for a breast pump, the lactation consultant had to hunt for the right set of flanges because the usual sets that come with most of those pumps were all too small.
Of course, the only reason size mattered was to get a comfortable fit and enjoy a successful breastfeeding experience. Saggy breasts and big nipples didn?t make it any harder to nurse. I just needed the right equipment.
CustomFit Breast Pump Flange System | HygieniKit Flanges | Ameda
The breast flange is the funnel shaped piece that cups your breast. A good fit is important! It can help make breast?
www.ameda.com
If anybody did have anything to say about my breasts somehow being wrong, I would have been entirely unimpressed.
Our bodies, our breasts.
Every person should get to decide what is beautiful for them and their body. Other people are not entitled to satisfaction regarding our shape, size, or appearance.
Everyone with mammary glands should get to do whatever they want with those body parts. Use your breasts for breastfeeding or don?t. Think of your breasts as sexual or not. Show them off or keep them on the down-low.
They?re just breasts.
And we women are more than our breasts.
I once read an article where Chaz Bono argued that he should get to legally identify as male because he had his breasts removed. We?re now years past that story and Chaz won his legal right to be male. But for me, that was the wrong argument because it insinuated that women are defined solely by their breasts.
At the same time, I understand that?s not what Bono meant. He felt the weight of his breasts much differently than I ever could:
?It is scary for a woman to think about it because it is something that they are really attached to. Being male and having breasts is about the worst thing I could imagine.? ? Chaz Bono
Chaz didn?t want to be defined by his breasts, and he chose to have them removed. Some women (like me) don?t want to be defined by our breasts at all, but are inclined to keep them.
Nobody should have to be defined by a body part.
And at the end of the day, how we feel about our breasts is an individual issue. We don?t need to be swayed by whatever other people think about them. Augmentation or removal is our personal choice, though I am personally unphased by our cultural phobia of saggy breasts.
I?m a woman, whether or not anyone else approves of my body.
Quit telling women that they need to prevent sagging.
There?s a ton of conflicting information about what a woman should do to supposedly keep her breasts more taut and perky. It?s silly because it assumes that most breasts are already perfect in that weird window of what ? age sixteen to twenty?
There?s always some hint of shame in the advice too. Maybe we?re wearing no bra or the wrong bra. People say we need this cream or that exercise.
But all that really matters is how we feel about our breasts. That we?re comfortable. And that we like the way look look.
It?s not like we need the approval of some stranger on the street.
For me? I just want a comfy wire-free bra that comes in pink. And one that doesn?t do that thing where it makes my silhouette look like a shelf that?s staring back up at my face. Ugh.
That?s really all I need.
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