My girlfriend asked, “When are you going to fuck me in the ass?”

My girlfriend asked, “When are you going to fuck me in the ass?”

I replied, ?When you tell me to fuck you in the ass.?

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Now, none of this is coming out of the blue. My girlfriend and I have been fooling around with anal play. We have ?his & her? butt plugs that she can put in me in conjunction with oral sex, and I can put in her ass with either oral sex or vaginal penetration. She sometimes takes out the butt plug to fuck my ass with a dildo, either by hand or via her strap-on.

So it?s not that the question was without context. But it struck me as a critical question in our relationship.

When we first started dating a couple of months ago, I suggested to her that she stick the butt plug in my ass. We are both in our 50?s and anal was never part of her sex life before. She was game, and our exploration of butt stuff was underway. After that, I asked her if I could stick the butt plug in her while I was performing oral. She agreed.

Fast forward a couple of months and us fucking doggy style with a butt plug in her ass is a common occurrence. On one such occasion, I leaned down while I was fucking her and whispered, ?I want my cock in your ass.? She said she wasn?t ready for that, so I didn?t push it any further.

Since then, I made the conscious decision not to ask her again. If she wants me to fuck her in the ass, then she will ask me to fuck her in the ass. But her question the other night has made me wonder.

Various scenarios have been going through my mind.

It?s clear that she has been enjoying our anal play. She has said that she enjoys it. She delights when I grab her butt plug and start applying the lube. The introduction of anal play has made our sex more enjoyable. The next time I?m fucking her from behind, maybe I should take the plug out and stick my cock in. There will already be plenty of lube. In this position, it will be hard for her to stop me. After all, women of my generation lived by different rules than girls these days. When I was in my 20?s, girls had to pump the breaks because that was expected of them. Girls these days can have lots of fun, adventurous sex without worrying about being branded a slut. I bet if I just went ahead and did it, I would get away with it.

NO. DON?T DO THAT.

Fucking her in the ass without consent is rape, you idiot.

She has consented to mild forms of anal play in the past, but consenting to a butt plug in her ass does not mean she has allowed my cock in her ass. My first response was the right one. I will fuck her in the ass when she asks me to fuck her in the ass.

I also don?t need to nag her into opening the back door. Tara Blair Ball wrote, ?In my early 20s, I dated a man who was interested in pegging (when a woman wears a strap-on and performs anal sex on the man). Though it wasn?t my bag, I was willing to try it out because it turned him on. But afterward he felt entitled that I reciprocate. I heard, more often than not, that he had done it, so why couldn?t I?? I enjoy it when my girlfriend takes the butt plug out of my ass and inserts the dildo, but that doesn?t mean I should expect reciprocity.

I?m enjoying my sex life these days. I?m enjoying spending time with my girlfriend. Sexual boundaries were different when I was younger. Girls were expected to push you away right up to the point when you were nailing them.

It was a stupid time.

The rules over sex were mostly imposed by men who wanted the Madonna in public and a whore in the bedroom. Just because we got away with things in the past doesn?t mean we should do it now, and it doesn?t mean it was the right thing then.

I like the current sexual era. Tell each other what you like and what you don?t like. If you want something, ask. If the answer is no, accept it.

Sex is fun. But we shouldn?t be having fun at someone else?s expense.

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