My Ex Is Upset I Don’t Want To Be Friends: Why Does My Ex Want To Be Friends So Badly

My Ex Is Upset I Don’t Want To Be Friends: Why Does My Ex Want To Be Friends So Badly

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My ex is upset I don?t want to be friends ? Why does my ex want to be friends so badly.

Some relationships end and leave conflicts with an ex. For the person who has been dumped, there can be heartbreak and mixed feelings about an ex. Because of these feelings and can be hard to still communicate with your ex, or even have any desire to still be friends. This is quite a common feeling among many people, because not one person enjoys being hurt. If an ex is sending signals about wanting to remain friends, you may need to know what you should do in that type of situation.

Are You Being Used?This is one of the most important questions you need to consider. If you have been hurt previously by an ex, it would not seem to make sense as to why your ex would want to still be friends. If they have hurt you once, there is the chance of being hurt again. Do not allow your ex to pretend to be your friend, and then hurt you once again.

OfficialMore than half of breakups usually never lead to a friendship. Most people do not want to remain friends because of emotions that are still involved with an ex. If you attempted to be friends, things may feel awkward and certainly would not feel the same.

AcceptanceSometimes it is more beneficial for you to accept that the relationship did not work out. If you are still interested in your ex, and they only want to be friends, this could make you feel confused. It is much better to leave things alone, then to pursue a friendship that could hurt you.

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Give Yourself TimeWhen all else fails, and you are not sure whether to remain friends with an ex, give yourself time. It is never a good idea to be friends, when there are still feelings involved. Take time to allow yourself to move on from the relationship, then decide.

Make Your Own ChoicesDo not let your ex control your choice. If you do not think it is a good idea to be friends, than let them know. If you allow yourself to be pushed into something, you will only feel uncomfortable.

Lose ContactAvoid having any contact with your ex. This does not mean you are being rude, or that you don?t want to be friend. By staying in contact with your ex after a breakup, you do not give yourself time to heal. If you ex wants to be friends, he/she will understand.

ConfrontationLet your ex know that you are hurt from the relationship, and you need time. If you decide to be friends and end up getting hurt, it will be harder to let go of an ex. Make sure to let them know that the breakup is final. If you want to be friends, than you will be friends.

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If you are trying to get the ex back, you probably realize by now that it can be a tough job. You try all sorts of schemes and tactics, but nothing seems to work much. You end up angry and frustrated. Even panicky. Well, the two main reasons why this is so hard are because of power shifts, and poor or no planning.

1. Power Shifts

You may have been dumped by your ex. Or you broke up for one reason or another. Regardless, if you are still in love with your ex and you let them know it at this point, then they assume a position of power over you. They can manipulate you, demand this or that, and keep you at their mercy. This is no way to get the ex back.

You are like a puppet on a string, and your ex is the one pulling those strings. They may even enjoy the spectacle of seeing you squirm and jump through hoops, just to please them. They have something you very much want. They know it, and so do you. This kind of situation is not too promising for repairing your relationship, to say the least.

What to do?

Be cool and confident. Do not tell your ex right away that you still love them, or want them back. Keep it to yourself for now, and even put a little distance between the two of you. Give yourselves time to cool things down. Then begin again to slowly rebuild the relationship. Do not seem too eager.

Perhaps you are still together with your lover, but you know deep down that a breakup is coming. When it does, stay cool and calm. Let him/her go. Keep your dignity, and do not reveal that you are still madly in love with them. Remember the old saying: If you truly love someone, let them go. If they come back, they are yours. If they don?t, they never were.

2. Poor Planning

During this difficult period when all you really want to do is get the ex back, do not make yourself too available to them. If they call or text you, be polite, chat for a few minutes, then let them know that you are busy and have things to do. Avoid the mistake of trying to do many favors for your ex, and being at their beck and call.

You may think it is a good thing if you ?are there? for your ex, whenever or wherever they need something. You believe it will show your love and devotion to him/her. This usually backfires for two reasons. The ex may tire of having you constantly hanging around in their life. (You need a cooling off period, remember?) Or he/she will start to take serious advantage of you.

What to do?

Think ahead. Keep busy with activities that have nothing to do with your previous relationship, or with your ultimate goal to get the ex back. A little patience now may soon pay big rewards. Do not be available too often to meet with your ex. You may find it hard to detach yourself emotionally from your ex, and put some space between you.

This is normal. But it is also important that you do this. It will give you a chance to clear your mind, and begin to think straight again. It will also help you move to a more balanced power-sharing relationship between the two of you. Only then will you have a good foundation upon which to rebuild your life together.

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